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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 1:52:21
I'm scared. I'm waiting to see if have cancer. There are a lot of things I have to do before I die. I'm not ready to die yet.
Before I die I want to:
• hug Dr. Bob some more
• travel China with my family
• travel Europe
• travel Australia
(basically go to every continent in the world LOL)
• learn how to drive
• travel to California
• learn how to swim
• go scuba diving
• get my degree
• get a job
• experience living on my own
• ride a hot air balloon
• did I mention see Dr. Bob? lolIf I have cancer and I'm dying I don't think I'll be able to do all those things. I think I'll want to go to China with my family, see Dr. Bob and hug him some more, and ride a hot air balloon.
If I'm dying I hope Dr. Bob would engage me in conversation. I also want to see him redirecting posts and doing his admin things...that is, see him actually typing on his computer. I hope Dr. Bob would grant me that wish if I'm dying.
This is sad. This is making me cry.
I don't want to die until I'm 120.
Deneb*
Posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 13:52:18
In reply to List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 1:52:21
All of those are fun things to do.
I've done most of them. I haven't been scuba diving, or in a balloon, and I haven't been to China with your family, though I've been there a bunch of times.
And you've already done more of them than I had done at your age.
Now, what makes you think you're sick? What did I miss?
Posted by Phil on June 12, 2006, at 14:11:42
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger* » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 13:52:18
I've done the hot air balloon ride. It was great. When you get back to where you took off from, they put down a small table with a table cloth. They say the ballooners'(?) prayer, you all pull up some grass, throw it over your shoulder, and then they serve champagne.
We were done by 8:30 in the morning.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 12, 2006, at 14:17:26
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger* » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 13:52:18
Well, Deneb,
Let's hypothesize: worst case scenario- you have cancer. The doctors are going to poke you some more. and you may have treatment. Fortunately, the whatever you may have is small, and it was detected early. AND you are young, and in otherwise good shape. You will get to eat a lot of popsicles and wear pajamas as much as you like. You can even bring Meow Meow to the doctor when you get treatment. You can read a lot of books and play on your computer all day long.Having said that, this list sounds like a nice plan- a lot of good things here, things to look forward to, to save up for, and to work for. It's great to dream big. Go for it! I want to see all the continents too. I think it's fantastic that you went to the APA conference. I didn't go to my first conference until I was almost 25, and I'm a scientist. If you can travel alone and stay multiple nights in a strange city, all while keeping us up to date on Babble- well I think you are far more capable than you give yourself credit for. Give your body a chance to show you how capable IT is. You will heal in short order, even if the test comes back positive for cancer.
Also, you can call your doctor in the morning and afternoon to see if your results have come back yet.
Well, uncertainty is the worst. Even worse than the worst-case scenario I outlined above. I'm rooting for you. I know you'll pull through this all right. It's not fair that you should have to go through this. It's not fair at all.
hugs for Deneb*
(((((((Deneb & Meow-Meow)))))))
bob
deneb
bob
Would you like lettuce and tomato on that? mayonnaise?lol
Posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 14:25:33
In reply to List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 1:52:21
Before I die I want to:
• hug Dr. Bob some more - [I'll leave that to you LOL]
• travel China with my family - [Not necessarily with your family, but I'd love to go there]
• travel Europe - [me too! 2nd choice]
• travel Australia - [me too! 1st choice]
(basically go to every continent in the world LOL) - [me too!!!]
• learn how to drive [something that took me a while too, but I eventually accomplished in my early 20's]
• travel to California - [me too! I've been there once, but it was a long time ago and I didn't do much]
• learn how to swim - [another thing I didn't learn until I was an adult]
• go scuba diving - [me too! I have a fear of deep water, being under water, and water I can't see the bottom of. Esp. when I know there's living creatures in it. I would love to overcome that and go scuba diving]
• get my degree - [me too!]
• get a job [wish I didn't]
• experience living on my own - [something I didn't do until the last few years!]
• ride a hot air balloon - [me too!]
• did I mention see Dr. Bob? lolSo is there a reason you think you're sick?
-T
Posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 15:36:41
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger* » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 13:52:18
> All of those are fun things to do.
>
> I've done most of them. I haven't been scuba diving, or in a balloon, and I haven't been to China with your family, though I've been there a bunch of times.Cool. How was it? I've never been overseas before. I want to go to China to see where my parents grew up. I can't see how they grew up because everything has changed. If I go to China I don't think I would blend in very well. I can't read the language and I have the vocabulary of a 6 year old in Cantonese. I probably won't even look like I belong...different styles and such.
> Now, what makes you think you're sick? What did I miss?
I found a lump approx. 9mm by 7mm by something in my breast about 6 months ago. I got some ultrasounds that all say it's benign, but I still worried so I had a fine needle aspiration biopsy done on Tues and I'm waiting for the results and thinking the worst. All the doctors (even my pdoc lol) tell me not to worry, but I'm still worrying.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 15:38:47
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Phil on June 12, 2006, at 14:11:42
> I've done the hot air balloon ride. It was great. When you get back to where you took off from, they put down a small table with a table cloth. They say the ballooners'(?) prayer, you all pull up some grass, throw it over your shoulder, and then they serve champagne.
> We were done by 8:30 in the morning.Cool. Sounds like fun. I never knew they had a ballooners' prayer. Were you scared in the balloon? Was it loud? Was it a smooth ride?
Deneb
Posted by Phil on June 12, 2006, at 15:55:20
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger* » Phil, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 15:38:47
May the winds welcome you with softness.
May the sun bless you with its warm hands.
May you fly so high and so well that God
joins you in laughter and sets you gently
back into the loving arms of Mother Earth.
________________________I'm afraid of heights but had no problem in the hot air balloon. It's not loud at all. One cool thing about the ride is you float over neighborhoods and sneak up on people. :)
It took several weeks before I got the call that we were going up. The wind has to be just right.
Our pilot was great...smooth sailing. We took off from a park in central Austin, floated over the Capitol, floated over UT stadium, then over I35. We were pretty high by then and rush hour was on so that freaked me out some. We then went by the airport and our pilot was on the radio with the tower making sure that a 747 had us in sight...the plane was at our altitude. We ended up landing in a church yard and the chase vehicle picked us up.
I could go on and on. It was really fun.P~
Posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 15:57:03
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger* » AuntieMel, posted by llrrrpp on June 12, 2006, at 14:17:26
Thanks for rooting for me. :-)
Thanks for making the sandwich. LOL
I saw my pdoc today and told her how scared I was about cancer. She told me that the chances of it being cancer are very low. She told me I'm transferring anxiety from other areas in my life into this anxiety about cancer. She told me I should concentrate on other more important things in my life. Well, she didn't exactly "tell" me, she got me to explore these issues and helped me figure these things out. She asks questions, she lets me figure things out. She only helps me.
She even brought Dr. Bob into the conversation. LOL When I was talking about my fears about cancer she asked me, "What would Dr. Bob say?" I said, Dr. Bob wouldn't say anything. LOL. "What would Dr. Bob say if he did talk?" ...Well...he and my online friends would probably say exactly what you (my pdoc)are saying, I should focus on things I can control instead of worry about something I cannot control.
Deneb*
Posted by Jay on June 12, 2006, at 19:10:36
In reply to List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 1:52:21
Deneb, I know it is hard to fight the compulsive mind-wrenching thoughts, but it will all pass soon. Just remember, the chances are very few. Try to rest your mind and get out of that nasty thinking pattern, although I know it is much easier said then done.
Please take care,
Jay
Posted by curtm on June 12, 2006, at 19:54:25
In reply to List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 1:52:21
(D(e(n(e(b(Deneb)n)e)b)e)D)
Please put a real hug from me on your list, too.
Posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2006, at 20:17:47
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger* » Deneb, posted by curtm on June 12, 2006, at 19:54:25
Deneb when do you get your results. And are you going to believe them this time? Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 21:00:54
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2006, at 20:17:47
Thanks everyone, for your well wishes.
I'm going to try not to think about cancer right now and focus on other things, like taking care of my new hamster, finding a job and reviewing material for next semester.
Deneb*
Posted by AuntieMel on June 13, 2006, at 11:17:09
In reply to Re: List of things to do before I die » AuntieMel, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 15:36:41
You think *you* won't blend in? What about me???
The first time I went I still had hair down to my tush. And it was a lighter blonde. AND the place I went to was a 10 hour train ride from Beijing, so I wasn't exactly in a touristy area.
Everyone would ride by me on their bicycle, slow down and staaarrreee......
I scared a little kid once on that trip. I was at a shop looking at jade (reminder to self, *never* try to get a suitcase full of jade onto a train again) - and anyway this kid, about 5 years old, came right up to me and just looked up and stared. and stared. I looked down at him and smiled and said hello and he went running away, screaming.
How much it's changed depends a lot on where you go. Parts have become much more modern, other parts still are like the old days.
I thought a good video game would be "Road through China" When they were taking me back to the train, we ended up driving a couple of villages over. We were in a nice modern Jeep, but the road was 1.5 lanes wide and we were dodging in and out, going around horse drawn carts, people drawn carts, breaking for trucks heading right for us - and so on. I was wishing for a video camera.
Along the sides of the road there were farms, with little old ladies standing calf high in water bending over to plant rice plants.
So, you see? It's not too late.
Posted by Deneb on June 13, 2006, at 17:10:09
In reply to Re:travel » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on June 13, 2006, at 11:17:09
> You think *you* won't blend in? What about me???
LOL You do have a point there. :-)
> The first time I went I still had hair down to my tush. And it was a lighter blonde. AND the place I went to was a 10 hour train ride from Beijing, so I wasn't exactly in a touristy area.
I would like to visit the places where tourists don't usually go as well as the typical tourist places. I really want to experience it, ya know. It's soooo cool that you go to do that. :-)
>
> Everyone would ride by me on their bicycle, slow down and staaarrreee......That must have felt strange!
>
> I scared a little kid once on that trip. I was at a shop looking at jade (reminder to self, *never* try to get a suitcase full of jade onto a train again) - and anyway this kid, about 5 years old, came right up to me and just looked up and stared. and stared. I looked down at him and smiled and said hello and he went running away, screaming.Awww that's so cute! LOL sorry. I wouldn't take it personally. :-)
A suitcase full! Wow, that sounds like a lot of jade. Why did you have problems with the jade?
Did you travel China with friends? Were you part of a tour group?
Deneb*
Posted by AuntieMel on June 13, 2006, at 17:50:39
In reply to Re:travel » AuntieMel, posted by Deneb on June 13, 2006, at 17:10:09
I was there for work, though at least on the first trip there were other work people (already) there and I wasn't alone.
The places I would go were where tourists didn't go. It's the oil industry so I went to offices of CNPC - or what they called 'the oilfields'
The clients were usually pretty nice, though. One group took me to a weekend trip to Qu Fu - which was *very* cool. And I always got a couple of days in Beijing, so I got to see a bunch of the touristy spots there, climb the great wall, that type of thing.
Nothing is wrong with jade - except it's heavy. It's like having a suitcase full of rocks.
Posted by Fi on June 15, 2006, at 16:48:46
In reply to List of things to do before I die *trigger*, posted by Deneb on June 12, 2006, at 1:52:21
Quick point re scuba diving. I only did a little bit, and it was amazing. But complicated and a bit scarey (I'm not enterprising..)!
Snorkelling was a wonderful alternative. OK, so you are looking at fish and stuff from above rather than next to you. But you dont need to do anything complicated- in fact, its even easier than swimming as you just float without even needing to lift your head. No training or complicated equipement needed, and not scarey- if you want to stop, you just lift up your head and start swimming.
It helped that I did this in a wonderful area for fish life- a coral reef.
Fi
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