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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 12:15:50
Very, very bad day. Hypomanic the last five days (the really good, euphoric kind). Now depressed. Way too much sh*t going on right now and definitely not coping well on the inside but can't let on. Should talk to someone IRL but can't bring myself to do it (everyone's sick of hearing me). Could use some words of encouragement here. Need to let someone know I'm not doing well at all. I need help. I fkn hate this BP2. I'm a mess and I want to hang it up.
Posted by ClearSkies on May 26, 2006, at 12:25:28
In reply to Help, please..., posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 12:15:50
I agree, BP2 does bite.
It's a carnival ride that I never would have agreed to go on, if anyone had asked me.Just as the euphoria and, for me, the consequent nastiness, of hypomania passes, so too will the depression. We wait it out like a storm squall. We wait for the howling wind to ease up. The screen of rain to lift. It happens, it just happens.
I'm hanging in right next to you.
ClearSkies
Posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 12:39:57
In reply to Help, please..., posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 12:15:50
i don't want this to sound trivial but i think a lot of people with mental illness can look at other illnesses and say, at least i don't have to worry about that.
this is what helps me get through the tough times.
i hate the ups and downs and when i'm manic it usually turns pretty bad pretty quick, so i just say utilize my energy as much as i can and when it goes beyond that i say this will soon end...it won't last. when depression comes i'm thankful that i am bipolar and not just dealing with MDD, because i know that a repreave will come, as it goes down it must go up...do i look forward to hypomania? absolutely not, but i think in the short term only, then when i'm in that state i think about the other and so on.now maybe that didn't help you much but it's just another view point on things.
but clearskies point was clear, this too will pass. hang on. as tight as you need to.and i do think that you should find someone IRL to talk to. do you have a psychologist? if you don't already, i think it could really help you through these times, especially if you aren't able to cope well with things.
do you have a pdoc you can call? maybe you need a change in your meds?
i guess i don't have real good responses to your need. but i wanted to feel less alone through all this.
please take care of yourselfb2c
Posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 13:30:06
In reply to Re: Help, please..., posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 12:39:57
I guess I can't appreciate how bad it is to be hypomanic but just being anxious and depressed is horrible too. And if the doc is leaning toward bipolar with me is it l or 2? And I agree if you have a therapist call. Love Phillipa
Posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 13:57:26
In reply to Re: Help, please..., posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 13:30:06
Wow, the bottom dropped out, but your life kept going. Well, you can do your best to keep up with it for a little while, but try to take some time for yourself too. It sounds like a good opportunity to tell someone that you're not feeling well. You don't need to say why, just say that you're not up to it. Do something that usually makes you happy, like playing with a kitten, or going to the park. Just trying to visit the scene of the last happiness might make things bearable in the short run. Call your friends and make a play date. Rent a movie. Force yourself to pick up a book and read at least a page before you decide you don't want to. Depression is *not good*. It's the cessation of good. But it's not the cessation of time. Time can change anything. Hang in there, because a better time will come.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 14:06:39
In reply to Re: Help, please..., posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 12:39:57
"...when depression comes i'm thankful that i am bipolar and not just dealing with MDD..."
B2C I know you only mean to be helpful, but this hit me the wrong way (as one who deals with MDD). I think we all can learn from each other what it's like to live a day in another's shoes. What it's like to lose something precious to us, and have to keep going anyways, in the face of difficulty that can be isolating and paralysing. One of my friends just sent me an e-mail where he writes "I also like Seligman's notion that mastery in the face of adversity is the key to mental health, rather than self-esteem." So, we must all try to support each other, so that we can achieve mastery in the face of whatever adversity our environments and our biology throw at us.
Posted by wildcardII on May 26, 2006, at 14:52:38
In reply to Help, please..., posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 12:15:50
~I wish i could make it better for you. Hang on like hell, call your T if you have one, a friend or family member??? If not, stay and talk w/ us. We can help you through some of it...
Posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 15:16:28
In reply to Re: Help, please... » B2chica, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 14:06:39
sorry llrrrpp, i never meant it to harm anyone.
but what you said about living in another's shoes is what i was (not so well) trying to say.
i don't think one disorder is worse than the others(kinda what it sounded like)...PLEASE don't misunderstand that. i guess i was trying to say that there are so many ways to look at what is going on with us weather we have schizophrenia, MDD, BP or GAD (or others). that you have to take it minute by minute and know that there IS hope if we can hang on. that our symptoms are changing and that others no matter what they are suffering from will understand that time is key. and that if you have to take it minute by minute...do so.
that things will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it.boy, just re-read my post. it does sound really bad. does it sounds like i'm saying BP is 'better' or worse than MDD?? in no way meant it like that. i was just feeling that sometimes i feel better knowing that even if the depression doesn't go away on it's own that hypomania will come and take it away, where as those that suffer from MDD don't have that-(though Hm isn't exactly a good thing). now that still sounds kinda bad so maybe i'll stop while i'm ahead. sorry for the way it came out. just ignore all my comments except my last one....bad post.
really sorry to all.
thank you for being polite llrrrpp.
b2c
Posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 15:19:35
In reply to Help, please..., posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 12:15:50
I'm better this afternoon and have no idea why. These mood swings are just too much. I know if I wait it out, I'll be in an ok place but as most of you know, when you're feeling that poorly, it feels like it'll go on forever. I don't have a T but pdoc knows what's going on and we're tweaking meds (as we seem to be forever doing).
Now that I feel a bit better, I should find myself a T.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 15:19:55
In reply to Re: Help, please... » llrrrpp, posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 15:16:28
No problem B2C. All is well.
yours,
llrrrpp
Posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 16:00:36
In reply to Re: Help, please... » B2chica, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 15:19:55
sometimes i can be such a dork...and still get no point across.
thanks for understanding.cares
b2c.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 16:14:02
In reply to thnx llrrrpp..., posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 16:00:36
And since we're on awkward subjects... I'm going to risk being offensive and say that sometimes a part of me *wishes* I were BP. Then at least there would be a *change* to look forward to. Regardless of whether it's more bearable or better, or healthier, or whatever, just SOMEthing that would change, instead of unremitting depression. It's a terrible wish. My T says "No you don't". The same part of me that wishes that is the part that wishes for other drastic changes too, just to feel something. It's a desparate side, not a reasonable voice at all, but sometimes it screams pretty loud. I hope I get mastery over this voice, this primitive urge
And to StickyW,
I'm sorry I hijacked your thread. I know you came to us for support. I'm glad you're feeling better though. (Can you bottle that feeling and save some for later? send some to me. I'll probably need it in a few hours...)
-ll
Posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 16:30:07
In reply to Re: thnx llrrrpp..., posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 16:14:02
no llrrrpp
see that's exactly what i was distastefully saying. that sometimes i was glad that it was BP because i would have that 'change' coming...
i know it's probably irrational,who knows but i take what i have and i try to look at the positive in it.
so i TOtally understand because honestly,i don't think i'm strong enough to have MDD. when i have depression, even if it's only been a month i feel like it's been a lifetime and i wonder just how long i can hang on...if i can...so that's when i look at, well, it is BP so a change will come, it should, i have to hang on....
as politically incorrect as it may sound, i too say this. (though it usually doesn't help). i do do this.
and you're right, it is a desparate side. almost a primitive side. i think we all get to this point with our illnesses.
thanks for understanding SO well.
(((((llrrrpp)))))
b2cand SW, sorry to about taking over. i hope you feel better soon.
Posted by corafree on May 26, 2006, at 20:38:22
In reply to Thanks everyone, posted by stickywicket on May 26, 2006, at 15:19:35
Well now I've got what you had! And, I don't want to bother IRL'ers either.
I've felt it all day.
I think I'm being 'tortured'. That's not the correct word I'm looking for.
It's the word they use to describe 'the treatment of Jesus Christ'.
Does anyone know the word I'm trying to spit out of my stupid mouth???
cf
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