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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
I might not have been born with a maternal instinct...: (
baby barf is really kind of gross, so are diapers, and sticky hands freak me out! And sometimes I don't think I would manage if I had to be there for someone all the time but then maybe it comes when the baby comes, you know, that 'feeling'. Does this mean that I care more about my clothes etc being clean and sticky-free then children? Oh and did I mention runny noses? I had a nightmare that I was an awful awful terrible horrible mother and it has been bothering me all day!
So here's my question...
Am I just not ready to have kids, or am I not maternal?thanks
ps- I do not have children but I really would like to at some point and I hope my post came out right...kids are the sweetest things in the world!
Maybe Im too uptight
Posted by agent858 on March 14, 2006, at 21:59:12
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
I think those things are kinda gross too. But I guess... You just deal with it as it comes along... You don't have a baby because you precisely WANT those things... It is just that those things kind of go along with babies...
I never used to feel maternal at all... Mostly... I still don't. But sometimes... Little kids are kinda cute... Sometimes I feel a bit maternal (from arms length though I'll admit).
I'm really not sure that I will ever have kids. I dunno. Maybe I'll change maybe I won't... I guess I'd need to meet someone first. Maybe he will be into baby goo. Heh heh.
Posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2006, at 22:13:14
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by agent858 on March 14, 2006, at 21:59:12
Only time will tell. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by crazy teresa on March 14, 2006, at 22:17:15
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
All that stuff is like everything else in life. You just deal with it when it comes along.
When it's your kid's diaper, it's not that big of a deal. If it somebody else's kid, it's disgusting! ;~}
You'll be a great mommy some day, Legs.
Posted by Daisym on March 14, 2006, at 22:57:33
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by crazy teresa on March 14, 2006, at 22:17:15
Sorry -- I posted on psych to you but didn't realize you didn't have kids yet.
Don't you think that it is a pretty universal fear to worry about being a good mom? I think all the icky stuff comes at you in such a way that you just deal with it, and exhaustion goes a long way in making you not care as much. Plus, hopefully you have a partner that you can make deals with. I Hate barf, so I agreed to all the really horrible diapers and my husband does the barf. I won that one because kids barf a lot longer than they are in diapers. :)
And trust me that I'm a pretty girlie girl so if I can do it, you can!
fyi - baby buggers are pretty cute.
Posted by James K on March 14, 2006, at 23:12:45
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
Hey LegWarmers, (i've decided to start all my posts by saying Hey -----).
I'm an uncle 6 times over. And a babysitter, and my spiritual brother's wife is preggers. I've never changed a diaper, (my bad), but it's just poo. Snot is snot, etc....
We can handle our own, we can handle our dogs' or cats' we can handle a little human. Nothing, I mean nothing is better than when a crying infant is picked up by me, put on my chest, and settles down and fall asleep. that's the most special thing in the whole world.
or I on the floor, and a couple of toddlers are stomping on my chest and stomach. Really, rock and roll, literature, sex, movies, rollercoasters, nothing compares to the love of a human child.
James K
Posted by agent858 on March 14, 2006, at 23:45:45
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by James K on March 14, 2006, at 23:12:45
i get scared i'll hurt / damage it
Posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 23:50:31
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by agent858 on March 14, 2006, at 21:59:12
> You don't have a baby because you precisely WANT those things...
LOL
> I never used to feel maternal at all... Mostly... I still don't. But sometimes... Little kids are kinda cute... Sometimes I feel a bit maternal (from arms length though I'll admit).I feel it in me sometimes and then other times...its that arms length thing and I worry that makes me a possible bad parent
>
> I'm really not sure that I will ever have kids. I dunno. Maybe I'll change maybe I won't... I guess I'd need to meet someone first. Maybe he will be into baby goo. Heh heh.HAHA Mine better too! and keeping thier sticky hands clean ; )
Posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 23:52:06
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by crazy teresa on March 14, 2006, at 22:17:15
> All that stuff is like everything else in life. You just deal with it when it comes along.
>
> When it's your kid's diaper, it's not that big of a deal. If it somebody else's kid, it's disgusting! ;~}
>
> You'll be a great mommy some day, Legs.Thanks crazyT! I alsways wondered if it was something that happened when the stork brought the baby ; ) or if you already have the feeling.
Posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:52:36
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
I read your psych post first too lw, and here again, we're just so alike. I didn't feel at all maternal b4 kids, and sometimes even now, I think in the mom dept. I don't "get it" the way other moms do. I LOVE our kids, but I'm not like the other moms - you know? You'll do it your way, and it will be right for your kids bec. you'll love them. I think just the fact that you're worried about it says a LOT! Some moms just make it look so doggone easy, and like it comes so naturally.
CT was right, having a partner who helps and shares all the way is key - makes the difficult stuff more bearable. And daisy was right - in the early days you're on autopilot.
You're getting good practice, and you're loved, so I hope you don't worry too much.
fw
Posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 23:57:55
In reply to Re: Babies, posted by Daisym on March 14, 2006, at 22:57:33
> Sorry -- I posted on psych to you but didn't realize you didn't have kids yet.
>lol it was an omg moment for me, I thought id cover all grounds ; )
> Don't you think that it is a pretty universal fear to worry about being a good mom? I think all the icky stuff comes at you in such a way that you just deal with it, and exhaustion goes a long way in making you not care as much. Plus, hopefully you have a partner that you can make deals with. I Hate barf, so I agreed to all the really horrible diapers and my husband does the barf. I won that one because kids barf a lot longer than they are in diapers. :): )
>
> And trust me that I'm a pretty girlie girl so if I can do it, you can!
>
> fyi - baby buggers are pretty cute.ew!
i got upset with my friends kid for putting some crap in my hair the other day, I felt like such an awful person... oh and then there was the time my boots were used as a toy, oh and my buttons were ripped off my shirt ; ) just all that stuff... you know? ITs scary, you might be right that its universal, it just seems to smooth for so many people.
Posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:00:44
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by James K on March 14, 2006, at 23:12:45
> Hey LegWarmers, (i've decided to start all my posts by saying Hey -----).
>
> I'm an uncle 6 times over. And a babysitter, and my spiritual brother's wife is preggers. I've never changed a diaper, (my bad), but it's just poo. Snot is snot, etc....yeah your right
>
> We can handle our own, we can handle our dogs' or cats' we can handle a little human. Nothing, I mean nothing is better than when a crying infant is picked up by me, put on my chest, and settles down and fall asleep. that's the most special thing in the whole world.
>
> or I on the floor, and a couple of toddlers are stomping on my chest and stomach. Really, rock and roll, literature, sex, movies, rollercoasters, nothing compares to the love of a human child.
>
> James K
aww that was so sweet. Its true about kids
Posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:01:49
In reply to Re: Babies, posted by agent858 on March 14, 2006, at 23:45:45
> i get scared i'll hurt / damage it
"IT" ROFL
I think they are fairly indestructable lol
Posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:10:29
In reply to Re: Babies » LegWarmers, posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:52:36
> I read your psych post first too lw, and here again, we're just so alike. I didn't feel at all maternal b4 kids, and sometimes even now, I think in the mom dept. I don't "get it" the way other moms do. I LOVE our kids, but I'm not like the other moms - you know? You'll do it your way, and it will be right for your kids bec. you'll love them. I think just the fact that you're worried about it says a LOT! Some moms just make it look so doggone easy, and like it comes so naturally.
>
> CT was right, having a partner who helps and shares all the way is key - makes the difficult stuff more bearable. And daisy was right - in the early days you're on autopilot.
>
> You're getting good practice, and you're loved, so I hope you don't worry too much.
> fwthanks fw! your post popped up out of no where lol
early worry is probably a good sign lol
Posted by agent858 on March 15, 2006, at 0:19:44
In reply to Re: Babies » agent858, posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:01:49
i didn't know whether to put 'it' or 'he/she' so...
Posted by fairywings on March 15, 2006, at 0:19:58
In reply to Re: Babies » fairywings, posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:10:29
> thanks fw! your post popped up out of no where lol
LOL, must be a "sign"! ; ) I KNOW you'll be a good mom!
> early worry is probably a good sign lol
>
I"m SURE it is. I thought I'd be a terrible mom, and I think worrying about whether or not I'm being a good mom is good bec. I care whether I'm good or not - if THAT makes ANY sense at all!!!fw
Posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:28:05
In reply to Re: Babies, posted by agent858 on March 15, 2006, at 0:19:44
> i didn't know whether to put 'it' or 'he/she' so...
I use it sometimes too, it was just funny to read it ; )
Posted by LegWarmers on March 15, 2006, at 0:30:38
In reply to Re: Babies, posted by fairywings on March 15, 2006, at 0:19:58
> > thanks fw! your post popped up out of no where lol
>
> LOL, must be a "sign"! ; ) I KNOW you'll be a good mom!
>: )
> > early worry is probably a good sign lol
> >
> I"m SURE it is. I thought I'd be a terrible mom, and I think worrying about whether or not I'm being a good mom is good bec. I care whether I'm good or not - if THAT makes ANY sense at all!!!
>
> fw
>It makes perfect sense! And you are a great mom.
Posted by wildcard11 on March 15, 2006, at 14:58:08
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
are so great 'most' days..lol The spit-up, poo, pee, etc. at the end of the day is usually the best thing about that day b/c it has to do with the life of a child. Maternal instinct kicks in for some during pregnancy and others afterwards. My first baby, i had just turned 18 and for three days i felt 'numb' like he was some foreign being but when the emotions hit, they hit hard!!
My 1 year old and my about to be baby, their daddy seems to have 'maternal' instinct...or would it be paternal instinct???
Posted by Damos on March 15, 2006, at 15:10:16
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
Well if having an incredible amount of love to give a child counts for anything I think you'd both be great mums :-)
I reckon a little one would be very lucky indeed to have either of you as a mum :-)
Posted by Phillipa on March 15, 2006, at 16:11:44
In reply to Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 14, 2006, at 21:02:32
I had my first when I had just turned l9 and didn't know how to put a diaper on they used cloth ones then and I pinned them on backwards all the time she wore them. Then pampers came out for my second one. It's weird but when they're yours it's just different. fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2006, at 17:38:11
In reply to Re: Babies, posted by agent858 on March 14, 2006, at 23:45:45
When we had our son, we were just astonished that we had weeks and weeks of Lamaze classes, but no training at all on babies. And neither of us knew anything except what we'd read. We couldn't believe that they were just going to let us walk out of that hospital with a baby.
I have to admit that I had an easier time once he learned to speak and tell me what was wrong.
But obviously babies are better at telling us what they want, and less fragile, than they look.
Posted by LegWarmers on March 16, 2006, at 14:35:02
In reply to Babies, posted by wildcard11 on March 15, 2006, at 14:58:08
Thanks everyone, I feel so much better. I also worry that Ill forget I have a baby while out shopping or whatever! Now wouldn't that be a disaster?
Hopefully when the time comes Ill be fine...
Posted by wildcard11 on March 16, 2006, at 14:44:13
In reply to Re: Babies, posted by LegWarmers on March 16, 2006, at 14:35:02
Posted by LegWarmers on March 16, 2006, at 15:44:06
In reply to You will ;o) i'm sure! (nm) » LegWarmers, posted by wildcard11 on March 16, 2006, at 14:44:13
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