![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on February 11, 2006, at 21:49:21
It just reminds me that I don't have a boyfriend. And because its a couple of weeks before my birthday, you can add OLD to that too. I'm old and don't have a boyfriend...
...and I'm scared I never will. :-(Is it weird that I'm this old and have never had a relationship (or even a date for that matter)? I know there are reasons for it, I've spent many years recovering from my disfunctional upbringing. And then I spent several years being my Grandmother's caregiver. But I still sometimes feel like a freak.
And its just too easy to believe it will always be this way.
-T
Posted by James K on February 11, 2006, at 22:48:31
In reply to Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by TexasChic on February 11, 2006, at 21:49:21
Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 11, 2006, at 22:53:02
In reply to Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by TexasChic on February 11, 2006, at 21:49:21
-T
You aren't a freak. I think you're a warm sensitive wonderful woman.
As far as not having a boyfriend, I'm not in a relationship right now either. I got divorced about four years ago, and I've been too messed up to really look for a relationship. Maybe someday. I'd like to share my life with someone again.
As far as old, I've probably got you beat. I'll be 46 this year, and I haven't even graduated from college yet. (Talk about a slow starter :-))
All I have to do in life now is to graduate from college, figure out what I want to be when I grow up, find a soul-mate, maybe get married again, or live alone and become a really old woman with alot of cats.
You've plenty of time. Sort yourself out first, and then go looking. I learned the hard way that if you get married before you've figured yourself out, that the whole process can destroy a relationship. And when you've got kids, it can be devastating.
You're doing things in the right order. I wish you well.
Blessings,
--Dee
Posted by Phillipa on February 11, 2006, at 23:00:28
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 11, 2006, at 22:53:02
Well if anyone is old it's me. And I'm not telling but I'm married. Well I'm supposed to be. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by muffled on February 11, 2006, at 23:32:04
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » deirdrehbrt, posted by Phillipa on February 11, 2006, at 23:00:28
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on February 12, 2006, at 0:11:57
In reply to Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by TexasChic on February 11, 2006, at 21:49:21
I too worry about never finding that special someone. However, the abundance of chocolate keeps me from hating Valentine's day. Mmmm. I can't wait until the 15th for the markdowns.
I bought my cats Valentine's day gifts this year. That clearly says a lot about my life. ;)
Best,
EE
Posted by sleepygirl on February 12, 2006, at 0:13:58
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » TexasChic, posted by Emily Elizabeth on February 12, 2006, at 0:11:57
I'm sure your cats love you very much ;-)
Posted by fairywings on February 12, 2006, at 0:31:06
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 11, 2006, at 22:53:02
You're so awesome Dee - wise, and an inpiration. And haven't you heard 40 is the new 20, so 46 must be like 25...28? You're young!
Texas, you're not a freak. Sounds like you're cautious bec. of what you've been through, and you have a big heart to have taken care of your grandmother. Sad that hoidays make us feel bad.
EE, you are too funny. Chocolate give me the jitters.....so if I get it 1/2 off will I have 1/2 the jitters?
Does anyone have an appt w/their T on Valentine's Day? I do. I didn't realize it until the receptionist said, okay, so we'll see you on the 14th..... There were only 2 appts. available that week, and there was no way I could do the other. AND my appt is in the evening! ....Proof that I have NO life!
I've been married 20 years, and this is the first Valentine's Day we're doing gifts. Took us 20 years to come around to it - I was so embarrassed to admit that my husband didn't get me anything for our 20th wedding anniv.! Not bec. he doesn't love me, just bec. he didn't think we were doing gifts. So, now neither of us will get away w/o at least a small token on occasion. That's kind of pathetic, isn't it?
fw
Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 12, 2006, at 0:46:53
In reply to Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by TexasChic on February 11, 2006, at 21:49:21
A fond memory of Valentine's day.
I once was working in Korea, when I was married, on Valentine's day. I was missing home. I had also become friends with the band who was playing in the hotel I was at. (Hotel Intercontinental.... What a place!) Anyway, Valentine's night, the band played a song for me. It was "My Valentine" which was kind of popular back then. I'm listening to it right now, and realize that I'm still fond of my ex. We'll never get back together, but I'm glad that we still get along.
Blessings,
--Dee
Posted by James K on February 12, 2006, at 1:12:20
In reply to Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by TexasChic on February 11, 2006, at 21:49:21
My answer was flippant, but true. I apologize if it seemed mocking. I have never bought a cared or flowers or a ring for my wife or anybody else. If I just hugged her for no reason, she would be touched, by the love, and what it took for me to make the effort. I have a few days (right?) to do this right this year. I can't remember her birthday. All I know are mine, my little sister's (one day and a year from mine) my older sisters and MY best friend's (same as his brother's) I don't want anything from anybody, and give the same. But when it's my loved ones, I'm wrong. And when you find that one, it doesn't matter how long it took. it will happen.
james K
Posted by ed_uk on February 12, 2006, at 10:31:14
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » TexasChic, posted by Emily Elizabeth on February 12, 2006, at 0:11:57
Hi E
I should get a cat :) I sometimes feel abnormal for being single.
Ed
Posted by TexasChic on February 12, 2006, at 15:34:35
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » TexasChic, posted by James K on February 12, 2006, at 1:12:20
It seems like guys are so intimidated by doing romantic things, when they don't realize how very little it would take to make a woman happy. Just knowing the guy thinks about you when you're not around, or goes to the trouble to remember small things you like, just wanting to spend time alone in your company, those are all very romantic. And those small things mean more to most women than you would ever know. Just to know a guy who 'doesn't usually do this sort of thing' actually made an effort is more meaningful than whatever the actual gift is he got.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 12, 2006, at 15:42:39
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » deirdrehbrt, posted by fairywings on February 12, 2006, at 0:31:06
No, not pathetic, you just have to be sure your S.O. knows what you want (emotionally not materially). If he thinks you don't want to do gifts, he's not going to go to the trouble. We all want guys to just come up with these romantic things without having to tell them, but I think that's very rare.
Listen to me, talking like I know anything. I guess this is just what I've observed from having alot of guy friends over the years.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 12, 2006, at 15:44:39
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day?, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 11, 2006, at 22:53:02
> You're doing things in the right order. I wish you well.
> Blessings,
> --DeeDitto...
... and thanks. :-)
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 12, 2006, at 15:47:15
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » TexasChic, posted by Emily Elizabeth on February 12, 2006, at 0:11:57
> I bought my cats Valentine's day gifts this year. That clearly says a lot about my life. ;)
Aw-w-w, that's sweet. I'm a cat person too.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 12, 2006, at 15:49:16
In reply to Re: Is anyone else depressed by Valentine's day? » Emily Elizabeth, posted by ed_uk on February 12, 2006, at 10:31:14
> I should get a cat :) I sometimes feel abnormal for being single.
Yeah I can't explain it, but having a cat helps. I guess its that unconditional love. I'm sure a dog works too.
-T
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.