![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 15, 2005, at 8:44:58
I feel so much compassion for those who spend so much time in that state.
Imagine how much emotional and psychic energy it must take to sustain it. Imagine what life might be like if they could just let it go.
Very very sad.
(((((those who hate))))))
gg
Posted by AuntieMel on December 15, 2005, at 10:28:05
In reply to Pathological hatred, posted by gardenergirl on December 15, 2005, at 8:44:58
No kidding. It must be really tiring.
I wonder what causes it. I can understand anger at those who have wronged you, but hatred? - I'm not sure if I've ever even experienced it.
Posted by Tabitha on December 15, 2005, at 11:34:31
In reply to Pathological hatred, posted by gardenergirl on December 15, 2005, at 8:44:58
Are you talking about terrorism? I found this paper. Pretty interesting.
Posted by pseudoname on December 15, 2005, at 11:38:12
In reply to Pathological hatred, posted by gardenergirl on December 15, 2005, at 8:44:58
> Imagine how much emotional and psychic energy it must take to sustain it.
That sounds like empathy! A good response in a clinician, I think. :-)
My first reaction (after a recent exposure) was sympathy for the hater's family, who have to watch their loved one be consumed by this stuff. Or so I imagine.
But then I started wondering: how many times have I been bound up by useless, hate-like feelings without being able to see that I was caught?
Like Mel, I don't think I've ever *hated*, but I feel resentment too easily and I can hold petty grudges forever. Seeing an extreme case like that one helps me see how truly wasteful my grudges are, even when they're comparatively small.
But will I see them when they next fall upon me?
Posted by pseudoname on December 15, 2005, at 11:57:09
In reply to Re: Pathological hatred, posted by Tabitha on December 15, 2005, at 11:34:31
> http://www.unlv.edu/Faculty/gottschalk/TERRORISM.htm
I didn't read all of that, but it's interesting that they think hatred comes from authoritarian personality traits. It's like the "shoulds". Except hatred is a sort of "super-should".
Hmm. Hmm.
I guess that's true. Haters (& resenters) are insisting things like, "They should be more X!" or "They should do X!" Or probably more often, "They should NOT do/be X!"
Of course, there's more to hatred than just "shouldiness", but that seems key....
Posted by sleepygirl on December 15, 2005, at 13:54:19
In reply to authoritarian traits » Tabitha, posted by pseudoname on December 15, 2005, at 11:57:09
oooh what an interesting concept - the "super shoulds"! I hate "hate", if you can hate "hate"
In my experience it sometimes comes from a deep, deep injury.
It's hard to be gentle sometimes...don't ya think? but sort of necessary I find with regard to myself and feeling OK with myself and everybody else.
Sometimes I feel hate when I don't feel safe. I don't like the feeling.
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 15, 2005, at 14:33:06
In reply to authoritarian traits » Tabitha, posted by pseudoname on December 15, 2005, at 11:57:09
The super-shoulds
What an excellent way to put it.
Posted by Phillipa on December 15, 2005, at 22:54:15
In reply to Re: authoritarian traits » pseudoname, posted by Gabbix2 on December 15, 2005, at 14:33:06
I think dislike is a better word than hate. I never even hated my ex. What a cad is was and is. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by daisym on December 16, 2005, at 12:26:31
In reply to Re: authoritarian traits, posted by Phillipa on December 15, 2005, at 22:54:15
I live with someone who hates. He hates loudly, and once he hates, he hates forever.
When my kids were little they weren't allowed to use the word hate. I would tell them it is a very strong word and should only be used when necessary. "I hate oatmeal" doesn't work for me. "I don't like the taste of oatmeal" is what they were taught to say.
It is my observation that people who hate believe that other people intentionally set out to hurt or harm. They can't allow for accidents, misjudgement or misinterpretations. So they believe people deserve their hatred. It is just ugly. And very, very sad.
Posted by LegWarmers on December 18, 2005, at 10:49:18
In reply to Pathological hatred, posted by gardenergirl on December 15, 2005, at 8:44:58
I agree with you, it must be very exhausting.
Im not always that quick...I feel I have I missed something?
Posted by LegWarmers on December 18, 2005, at 10:50:34
In reply to Re: Pathological hatred » gardenergirl, posted by LegWarmers on December 18, 2005, at 10:49:18
nevermind, I probably did and it doesnt matter now.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2005, at 17:04:36
In reply to Pathological hatred, posted by gardenergirl on December 15, 2005, at 8:44:58
Y'all have posted some thoughtful replies, and I'm embarrassed I forgot to get back to this.
I didn't have terrorists in mind, in particular, when I posted the original message. I can definitely see how it applies, though.
And it's something else I don't quite understand. Pure hatred with no room for empathy is an emotional place I have a harder time visiting. I guess that's good. :)
Thanks, everyone.
gg
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.