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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
My hygiene's gone to h*ll lately. I'd like to say it's because I don't have the energy to take a bath or wash my hair, but I'm pretty sure that's not it.
I think it's an act of anger or hostility on my part, and I notice it accompanies depressive episodes. Or maybe I just want my appearance to match how I feel.
Does anyone else experience this or have any idea what it might mean and how to motivate myself to overcome it?
Posted by sal0805 on November 14, 2005, at 13:36:18
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
I experience this all too frequently lately. I would take such care to ensure my 'face was on' by the time hubby got home. Now he gets home and I haven't even had a shower yet.
Your comment of appearance matching feelings sums it up for me.
I understand this Dinah - I truly do. I clean my house all day long but forget(or not bother) about me!
Sabrina
Posted by Jen Star on November 14, 2005, at 14:18:24
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
hi Dinah,
I think it's because a depressed person is consumed with the sad/angry/depressing thoughts, and because their mind is so filled with it, there is no room for "frivolous" stuff like hygiene, making phone calls to friends, doing fun stuff, etc. I think the brain kind of gets hijacked by the obsessive bad thoughts.How to get over it -- a difficult question! I'd say to "force" yourself, but HOW to force yourself...that's the million dollar question. When I was supremely depressed/anxious, I didn't even want to bother brushing my TEETH - it seemed so pointless.
Somehow I managed to keep doing it, and showering too (although not doing my hair) because some part of me knew I'd be coming out of the depression eventually, and that part of me would certainly appreciate plaque-free, cavity-free teeth. And that part of me would be extremely embarrassed if it remembered running into acquaintances in the store while looking like a homeless bag lady. And the part of me that is the huge health worrier kept remembering that clean teeth and gums are supposed to help prevent heart valve infections, and because I just didn't need any MORE things to worry about, I decided to keep brushing. And flossing. And showering.
So I suppose being a paranoid health freak kept ME clean. But I don't know if that would work for you.
I also alway feel better after a shower. And buying a really nice bath gel from Bath & Body Works always help me. I LOVE smelling nice and pretty, and I love pretty shower gels. So putting some fancy stuff in the shower helped motivate me to keep clean. ;) I hope that helps for you!
JenStar
Posted by Tabitha on November 14, 2005, at 14:19:16
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
Yeah, my grooming and hygeine start to degrade in proportion to level of depression. Sometimes I can kick-start myself just by making some extra effort there. I think letting those things go really sends a signal, 'I'm not worth taking care of', which only adds to depression.
Posted by Toph on November 14, 2005, at 19:48:02
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
I've always appeared like I felt, and I suppose the converse applies as well. I must say that your post came as a surpise to me, Dinah. I view you as someone who values order in things. If I'm accurate, it must be painful to have chaos in your world right now. But you are also a very determined person. I sense that by sharing this difficulty you are challenging yourself here to overcome this obstacle as you have so many others.
Posted by Deneb on November 14, 2005, at 20:29:43
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
I think JenStar's advice about using fancy shower gels is a very good idea. Try making bath or shower time a fun time. Splurge a little and buy some fancy bath stuff.
I think maybe neglecting hygiene may be a way to punish oneself. You've done nothing wrong Dinah and you deserve good things.
If you are too depressed to keep clean for a few days, it's OK. Don't beat yourself up about it.
(((((((((Dinah))))))))))
Deneb
Posted by Bobby on November 14, 2005, at 22:25:04
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
It's time for monthly shower--this time I may use soap.
Posted by Phillipa on November 14, 2005, at 23:07:11
In reply to that reminds me, posted by Bobby on November 14, 2005, at 22:25:04
The first way to fight depression is to take care of appearances. makes you feel better about yourself. Fondly, phillipa
Posted by sal0805 on November 15, 2005, at 13:16:30
In reply to Re: Hygiene » Dinah, posted by Toph on November 14, 2005, at 19:48:02
Toph - your insight is amazing. Your reply post to Dinah touched me, as I am sure it would have done for Dinah.
I felt a lot of my own issues in this post.
Sabrina
Posted by TexasChic on November 15, 2005, at 19:37:44
In reply to Hygiene, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 13:20:57
I can certainly identify. If I don't have anywhere to go on the weekend, I don't shower (or sometimes even brush my teeth!) I guess sub-consiously I feel I only have to do that for other people, and not myself (self esteem issues maybe???). It's true that a shower ALWAYS makes me feel better. I've actually found myself thinking after I shower in the morning, "Man, there is nothing better than a shower." But if I don't have anywhere to go, actually getting up and doing it is pretty freaking hard. Its good to know I'm not quite so disturbingly disgusting (or at least in good company).
-T
Posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 20:12:06
In reply to Re: Hygiene » Dinah, posted by TexasChic on November 15, 2005, at 19:37:44
It's good to know that at least I'm not alone in this. Although I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.
Funny thing is that I love baths. And bath gels that smell like food. Vanilla or berry or something edible. I have a love affair with water, and actually have a bathing injury from the misspent days of my youth when I was able to spend hours and hours reading in the tub. Even now, if I get into the bath, it's hard to get me out.
My therapist asked me to promise to try this week. I refused to promise to try, although I acknowledged that I knew that was the expectation. But I wouldn't have mentioned it to him, if I were planning to bow to the expectations that were sure to follow. :)
On the other hand, I have been a bit better. But that might be because I saw the sex therapist today. No matter what, I at least manage to bathe before I see my mental health professionals.
Posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 20:30:23
In reply to Re: Hygiene » Dinah, posted by Toph on November 14, 2005, at 19:48:02
You're right. Well, I must confess that I am only orderly in certain aspects of my life. :) I can be as disorderly as the most disorderly in other aspects.
But the chaos around me is causing me a great deal of distress. And a whole lot of anger as well. I have a feeling the anger is at the bottom of the hygiene problem. But then again, my therapist says that anger is often part of depression.
I think maybe my therapist should have gone the other direction and challenged me to get as absolutely filthy as I could, with no regard whatsoever for who I'd be seeing that day.
Sigh.
But maybe that would have been too obvious.
Posted by Toph on November 16, 2005, at 15:58:41
In reply to Re: Hygiene » Toph, posted by sal0805 on November 15, 2005, at 13:16:30
Thanks Sabrina, but if I'm as insightful as you say then why can't I figure out why life has to be so damn difficult all the time?
Posted by sal0805 on November 16, 2005, at 16:20:44
In reply to Re: Hygiene » sal0805, posted by Toph on November 16, 2005, at 15:58:41
"" Plenty swearwords "" if I can figure this one out - thank yo for bringing a smile to my face all the same.
Sabrina
This is the end of the thread.
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