Psycho-Babble Social Thread 568206

Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Alexandra? Are you ok?

Posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 16:21:46

While you make a very gracious apology, it is somehow making me feel uneasy that you think you need to make so many today.

Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » Dinah

Posted by alexandra_k on October 17, 2005, at 18:02:19

In reply to Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 16:21:46

i'll be fine

i apologised so much because...
i think i acted badly
apology doesn't make things right but it is a good start

i need to think...

but right now...

i need to work

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?

Posted by alexandra_k on October 17, 2005, at 18:03:06

In reply to Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 16:21:46

thank you for your concern
((((dinah)))))
it means a great deal to me.
i really will...
be okay

:-)

 

:-) (nm) » alexandra_k

Posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 19:40:24

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by alexandra_k on October 17, 2005, at 18:03:06

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » alexandra_k

Posted by wildcard on October 17, 2005, at 21:44:50

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by alexandra_k on October 17, 2005, at 18:03:06

>I noticed a lot of apologies also that caught my attention. You're right, it's always a good place to start when you think you should, just as long as you are okay.

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?

Posted by gardenergirl on October 17, 2005, at 22:11:57

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » alexandra_k, posted by wildcard on October 17, 2005, at 21:44:50

Yeah, after reading all of those, I got a bit worried, too.

I'm glad you told us you're okay. I hope you find that you are effective in getting caught up on work.

We'll be here.

(((alex))))

gg

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » wildcard

Posted by alexandra_k on October 18, 2005, at 2:28:04

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » alexandra_k, posted by wildcard on October 17, 2005, at 21:44:50

yeah, i'm okay :-)
i've had a pretty good day actually.

the sun has come out
and it isn't too hot yet
so i sat in the sun for a while and did some reading
haven't done that in a long while :-)

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » gardenergirl

Posted by alexandra_k on October 18, 2005, at 2:30:34

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by gardenergirl on October 17, 2005, at 22:11:57

:-)

i made some progress...
made some progress...
and now my heart is back in it again
the best feeling in the world.

i think...
when / if i do get in someplace...
i'm going to have a lot less time to babble

:-(

but i'm sure i'll still be around
and i'll always be grateful to the people who helped me get there.

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » alexandra_k

Posted by Nickengland on October 19, 2005, at 13:42:23

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » wildcard, posted by alexandra_k on October 18, 2005, at 2:28:04

Hello Alexandra,

I just wanted to say I didn't think you acted badly but was just going with the flow at the time, and using your philosophical approach to access what was going on ~ and your philosophical nature is what makes you, well its what drives you to reason things, I always value reading the different points you can put across to a discussion :-)

>the sun has come out
and it isn't too hot yet

I must be honest too and admit that i'm jealous that in the southern hemisphere you now are going into sunnier weather than us up an over compared to you down under! ;-)

Roll on till the day I head off down there lol

Take care

Nick

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » Nickengland

Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2005, at 19:44:56

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok? » alexandra_k, posted by Nickengland on October 19, 2005, at 13:42:23

Hey there. Thanks for what you said. I think that sometimes... going with the flow can count as acting badly. I think it was that some of what was said has a fair amount of relevance for my life with respect to my battle with the service to get treatment. Wondering about whether it is fair of me to go study overseas when I won't be able to access treatment over there etc. But... I feel a bit more liberated and self confident now. It really helped me out. But I also got swept along with a whole heap of other stuff... Was under a lot of pressure etc... But I regret a lot of the things I posted. And even since then. Even since my apology. I'm not sure...

Anyway... Thanks for what you said. I'm really glad that you aren't upset with me. You post such kind and thoughtful posts. Thank you.

 

Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?

Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2005, at 22:39:27

In reply to Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by Dinah on October 17, 2005, at 16:21:46

i have been dreading this day for a while now...
i have the distinguished honour of having the highest internet access charges of anyone in my department.
that means that they are going to do a printout of my years worth of internet access.
including... all the sites visited.
that information will be passed to the chair of the department next month.
the chair is my supervisor... he knows i have mental health issues and he knows i have had trouble accessing treatment in the services.
i imagine he will pay this site a little visit...

i'm hoping... that he won't figure my posting name. there really are an awful lot of posts here. but some of my posts are fairly distinctive. writing and students especially. and those boards archive fairly infrequently.

basically... he will find me out.
and there is nothing i can do about that.

i cringe when i recall some of the horrible things i have said about the department. and about him especially. mostly... when i was in a state and needed to vent. but still... inexcusable really. good thing my references will be written by then i suppose. i won't be asking him for those again.

at times i have worried about how much time i spend on the boards.
felt guilty with every little click.

i feel that way now.
i feel scared to open posts.
every little click is charged and logged
charged and logged
even though the uni owns the server
so it is just money shuffling within the uni
from our department to technology services.

but there it is.

if they block the site i won't be able to post anymore.
if they don't block the site...
i will be able to post from another uni account that i have.
but not as much
nowhere near as much

guilt
can be a horrible horrible thing.

 

Hmmmm » alexandra_k

Posted by wildcard on October 19, 2005, at 22:54:53

In reply to Re: Alexandra? Are you ok?, posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2005, at 22:39:27

That would s*ck but don't be so hard on yourself. There are worse things than using the puter to visit and unless he spends hours and hours on the site, I doubt he will figure it out. Have you thought of changing your name so if he asks bluntly are you so and so u can answer honestly? Or if necessary you can show your NEW posting name and he won't know the old name. Just tell everyone to hush. Yeah he will know you visited the site but you cld. have been reading!! Whatcha think??

 

Re: Hmmmm

Posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2005, at 19:59:30

In reply to Hmmmm » alexandra_k, posted by wildcard on October 19, 2005, at 22:54:53

i think... he would not ask me my posting name. the issue will be more around... whether this constitutes research and whether the benefits justify the expense to the dept.

i'll just have to plead 'research'.

i might get asked to tone it down...
they might decide to block the site...
i'm not sure...

i'll be fairly upfront about it being 'lateral' research. i don't know... i don't know how seriously they are going to be concerned. i mean... they have HUGE conference attendance budgets and catering budgets etc etc. but... funding from everywhere is being cut left right and centre due to current financial crisis... so... toning it down will probably be the thing.


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