![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 22:19:33
I was just in chat and have a great time, but I found myself obsessing about whether or not Dr. Bob wanted me to die again. :-(
OK, I think he probably doesn't want me to die...I still have proof. Yes, the proof is good. Oh god, I'm afraid of losing my mind. :-(
I think maybe the placebo effect has worn off, I dunno. I could actually feel this feeling of having the capacity of losing control and getting upset again. I didn't actually get upset, but I could feel that I could get upset. It just feels different, not normal.
Deneb
Posted by 10derHeart on September 24, 2005, at 22:57:57
In reply to Is the Risperdal doing anything??, posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 22:19:33
Ahh..but Deneb, I wonder..
Maybe that last part you wrote, about it feeling different, not normal...well, maybe, that could be that for the first time you experiencing something closer to what others feel inside. No - wait I said that wrong. Arrghh - this is hard to articulate.
I'm trying to say, when I read your post, it sounds like maybe you are saying, even though you started thinking about the Dr. Bob stuff, you did *know* it was obsessive, and could feel it starting...but maybe not worsening much, or at least not quickly, because you were able to logically short-cicuit it a bit better? Maybe the med helps you do that much sooner? Do you see what I mean?
This could be good.
It may feel utterly alien.
But it could be just the brain adapting to the med
And since you've never felt any *different* way before...it's perceived as strange - that would be natural.An analogy for me (not the best but...) is when I found the best med for my ADD symptoms like racing thoughts, chatter in my head, impulsiveness, horrible concentration, a sense I was listening to 5 radio and TV stations all at once and couldn't tune in just one...stuff like that. When the med worked, it was...wow. Lots of inner peace and steadiness...perhaps a bit of...normal.
Meaning normal for a non-ADD brain.
BUT, the first week or so I almost hated it - only 'cause it was so weird, strange, different, amazing but scary as I didn't know that type of inner world could be *me.*
Later, the calmness became familiar and okay.
Does this make any sense?I'm just thinking it might be a good thing, but you still need to be patient and see how it goes with more time.
And it's always possible dosage or med will need to be adjusted in the future.You're doing great. It's good to pay attention to the sensations, so you can tell the p-doc, but try not to worry too much.
Posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 23:05:07
In reply to Is the Risperdal doing anything??, posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 22:19:33
Does anybody ever feel like they are going to implode or something?
I call it the, "I can't stand it, I can't soothe myself, don't know what to do feeling."
Tonight, I feel like I could feel like that again...it was like this weird feeling that rose within me, but it didn't take over.
I hate that feeling sooo much, it's like I get so upset I just don't know what to do. It's like I want to (fill blank in with all sorts of horrible things to do to myself). It's not even depression, I don't know what the heck it is...just absolutely horrible. It's like I'm in prison and I need to escape, but I can't, so I just bang my head against the bars because I can't stand it!
Anyone know what the heck I'm talking about?
Deneb
Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2005, at 23:22:13
In reply to Re: Imminent implosion?, posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 23:05:07
Yeah I know what you are talking about.
I get that too.
Dunno what to call it either...I've had people try and describe it as emptiness, boredom, anxiety, or some emotion or other.
But I dunno.
But I get that feeling too...
Quite a lot.
All that can really be done... Is to take special care of yourself. Do something nice for yourself. Sometimes that sort of thing helps me come right...Give the meds a chance... They will take a little while to get properly built up in your system. Also: I don't think they stop that feeling... But they may help you pull yourself out of it.
Posted by rainbowbrite on September 25, 2005, at 9:51:12
In reply to Re: Imminent implosion?, posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 23:05:07
just a guess but could that be akathesia?
Posted by Angela2 on September 25, 2005, at 11:35:06
In reply to Is the Risperdal doing anything??, posted by Deneb on September 24, 2005, at 22:19:33
Deneb,
Maybe it is too soon to tell. It should prob take a few weeks to notice any difference.
Posted by Deneb on September 25, 2005, at 13:29:52
In reply to Re: Is the Risperdal doing anything?? » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on September 24, 2005, at 22:57:57
> I'm trying to say, when I read your post, it sounds like maybe you are saying, even though you started thinking about the Dr. Bob stuff, you did *know* it was obsessive, and could feel it starting...but maybe not worsening much, or at least not quickly, because you were able to logically short-cicuit it a bit better? Maybe the med helps you do that much sooner? Do you see what I mean?
Yes, I see what you mean, but I'm not sure yet whether or not that is happening to me. Time will tell I suppose. So far I haven't noticed anything drastic or anything. The only time I've noticed is that I get really sleepy at around midnight now. Usually I don't get that sleepy.
> Later, the calmness became familiar and okay.
> Does this make any sense?Yes, I think I understand what you are saying. One gets used to the disorder and normal doesn't feel right.
Thanks for the input 10derHeart!Deneb
Posted by Deneb on September 25, 2005, at 13:34:16
In reply to Re: Imminent implosion? » Deneb, posted by rainbowbrite on September 25, 2005, at 9:51:12
> just a guess but could that be akathesia?
Hmmm...I don't think it is akathisia. I get this feeling whether or not I'm on meds. It is that same feeling that usually results in me posting and doing inappropriate things.
Deneb
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.