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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PM80 on May 16, 2005, at 13:28:04
I heard a joke the other day that made me chuckle, but I warn you - I laugh at cheesy jokes. I don't know why, but they always make me laugh so I thought I'd share.
The other day this strange guy knocks on my door. I open the door and he blurts out "I think I'm a moth." So I say, "geez, I don't think I can help you there. Maybe you should go to a therapist about that." Then I ask "what made you decide to knock MY door about this?" and he says, "Well, I saw your light on."
hehehe, come on, it's kinda funny :)
Please feel free to follow up with one of your own!
Posted by TamaraJ on May 16, 2005, at 14:12:54
In reply to cheesy jokes thread, posted by PM80 on May 16, 2005, at 13:28:04
I'll have to try to remember some of the cheesy ones I have heard, or at least the ones that, well, I can repeat here. One of the radio stations I listen to has a bit - "the 4:40 groan on the way home", so I will see if any of their cheesy jokes are PB worthy :-)
Good thread, and the joke was . . . ummmm . . . cheesy . . . ya, ya, that's it :-)
Posted by anastasia56 on May 16, 2005, at 15:18:36
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread - I Love cheesy jokes!!! » PM80, posted by TamaraJ on May 16, 2005, at 14:12:54
Posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 10:14:31
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread - I Love cheesy jokes!!! » PM80, posted by TamaraJ on May 16, 2005, at 14:12:54
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
Posted by Minnie-Haha on May 17, 2005, at 10:32:40
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread - I Love cheesy jokes!!!, posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 10:14:31
> A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
OMG! I was gonna post that one!! It is my favorite cheesy joke. Now I have to think up a new one.
Posted by PM80 on May 17, 2005, at 10:34:10
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread - I Love cheesy jokes!!!, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 17, 2005, at 10:32:40
Where does a general keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
Posted by Minnie-Haha on May 17, 2005, at 10:39:03
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread - I Love cheesy jokes!!!, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 17, 2005, at 10:32:40
OK, OK. I've got one. I don't know if it's cheesy or not. It's an elephant joke. (These were popular when I was young.)
Q: How many elephants can fit into a Volkswagen Beetle?
A: Five. Two in the back seat, two in the front seat, and one in the glove compartment.
Posted by Tamar on May 17, 2005, at 13:03:25
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread - I Love cheesy jokes!!!, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 17, 2005, at 10:39:03
If you haven't seen this before you might enjoy it:
Gripe Sheet --
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight . . .Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)--------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget!
Posted by TamaraJ on May 17, 2005, at 13:32:08
In reply to Another One, posted by PM80 on May 17, 2005, at 10:34:10
There were three pieces of rope wandering in the desert. They were very hot and thirsty. They came upon a bar and one went in. He asked for a drink and the bartender said, 'read the sign buddy we don't serve ropes.'
'Oh come on just this once', the rope asked again. The bartender said 'nope', so the rope left. The second rope figured he was a bit better looking and maybe the bartender would soften a little and let him have a drink. He went in and asked for a drink, the bartender shook his head and said 'Hey Buddy, it's just like I told your friend we don't serve ropes here.' Dejected the rope left the bar.
The 3rd rope heard both of their stories, thought for a moment. Then he rolled himself into a knot and fluffed the edges so it was a little frayed. The third rope went into the bar like this and asked for a drink.
The bartender asked, 'Hey are you a rope?' The 3rd rope looked down at himself and said 'Nope, I am a frayed knot!'
YUK!! YUK!! YUK!! YUK!!
Posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 14:00:38
In reply to Re: Another One - a bit long, posted by TamaraJ on May 17, 2005, at 13:32:08
*This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the
British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio
conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98.IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a
collision.
BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to
avoid a collision.
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
south to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.
IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST
SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU
CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES
NORTH OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
THIS SHIP.IRISH: We are a lighthouse................Your Call...
Posted by anastasia56 on May 17, 2005, at 15:39:40
In reply to Re: Another long one, posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 14:00:38
Posted by TamaraJ on May 17, 2005, at 16:27:12
In reply to Another One, posted by PM80 on May 17, 2005, at 10:34:10
There's three dogs, a Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog all sat in a bar having a quiet drink when a great-looking female Collie strolls in. She comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a single sentence can have their way with me."
Quickly, the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."
The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."
She laughs and says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."Cheesy, eh?
Posted by Damos on May 17, 2005, at 17:01:13
In reply to cheesy jokes thread, posted by PM80 on May 16, 2005, at 13:28:04
If every dog has his day,
What does a dog with a broken tail have?
.
.
.
A week-end.
Two kids are playing in their yard, one says to the other; "I'm Blackbeard the pirate."
The other say; "If you're a pirate, where are your buccaneers?"
The first one replies; "On my buccanhead!"
Posted by malthus on May 17, 2005, at 18:53:25
In reply to cheesy jokes thread, posted by PM80 on May 16, 2005, at 13:28:04
Two television antennas got married.
The ceremony was nothing to write home about...
but the reception was great.S I L L Y !
Posted by littleone on May 17, 2005, at 21:17:38
In reply to Re: cheesy jokes thread » PM80, posted by malthus on May 17, 2005, at 18:53:25
Posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 9:40:39
In reply to OMG the lighthouse joke is great! (nm) » sunny10, posted by anastasia56 on May 17, 2005, at 15:39:40
Posted by TamaraJ on May 23, 2005, at 22:46:43
In reply to cheesy jokes thread, posted by PM80 on May 16, 2005, at 13:28:04
A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"
This is the end of the thread.
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