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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 11:35:14
My wife (we were married 11 1/2 months ago) was diagnosed this week with a mild case of Bipolar. I first noticed a depression last Sept and have not witnessed any of the classic signs of mania, other than over-shopping at times and fits of rage, which I am not sure if it is a manic sign or a depression sign. Because of her depression, she is a mess. I lost my first marriage due to my ex-wife's deep and prolonged depression (10+yrs). I am very scared, sad, depressed, confused.... She has not started lithium yet - the Dr mentioned it. Rightly or wrongly, when I think of lithium I think of the drugged zombies in "One Flew Over the Cucoo's nest". She has another appointment tomorrow and I assume he will precribe it. I am scared for my wife - I am scared for my marriage - I am scared that caring for a mentally ill person will drag me into a dark hole like it did with my first wife. I have nobody to talk to. The person I want to turn to when I am hurt is hurting as well - my wife. I keep telling myself that it is a mild case and very treatable and that lithium is very effective and has few side effects, but I am not sure if I believe myself or not. Please help me - I need hope, I am desperate.....
Posted by tampagirl70 on May 11, 2005, at 12:06:38
In reply to Help please......, posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 11:35:14
Could you go to the doctor with her? I feel for you. My husband probably feels the same way you do - helpless, confused, scared and angry that his wife is "broken." Hang in there.
angela
Posted by sunny10 on May 11, 2005, at 13:24:12
In reply to Re: Help please......, posted by tampagirl70 on May 11, 2005, at 12:06:38
a couple of quick, logical points
1) the dosages of lithium can vary and produce very different side effects.
2) there are other medications now other than lithium which may be indicated if she is only mildly bipolar.Those two points are unlike when "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" was filmed.
And you have found Babble.
All of this will help you with your current wife, I hope.
Let us know how you're doing... We can help you while you're hurting.
warm regards,
sunny10
Posted by fallsfall on May 11, 2005, at 14:40:44
In reply to Help please......, posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 11:35:14
I took Lithium for 9 years. Medications have changed a lot since the zombie days. Lithium is an old medication, but the doctors are much more aware of the good and bad effects it can have on people.
I suggest that you encourage your wife to get some therapy, too. Therapy could help her learn how to manage the cycles of bipolar.
A bipolar diagnosis is not a disaster. Many people live very happy lives with bipolar.
You sound like a caring husband. Her illness *will* effect you as well. If things aren't going smoothly, it is quite reasonable for you to go into therapy either by yourself or with her so that you can more capably support her. You might want to establish a relationship with a therapist so that if things get difficult later, you have someone to go to who knows you a little bit.
She is lucky to be married to you.
Posted by PM80 on May 11, 2005, at 15:27:48
In reply to Help please......, posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 11:35:14
I have a few thoughts that might make you a little less afraid of all of this.
First, some perspective: your wife did not just come down with a case of the bipolars. She has had this the entire time that you've known her. The only difference is that now it has been labeled and identified. Which is actually a really good thing because now it can be treated.
Second, medication is supposed to make things BETTER, not worse. If she is prescribed something whose side effects are worse than the symptoms that are being treated, then she should try something different. There are many different kinds/classes of mood-stabilizers out there. It can be a bit of a trial-and-error process whenever psychiatric drugs are used. Keeping a mood chart when starting a pdrug can be quite helpful to monitor its effectiveness. ALso, a lot of pdrugs are prescibed for off-label uses and work quite well so keep an open mind if your doc prescribes something off-label.
Therapy can be very beneficial to someone dx'ed with BP and their spouse. So it's something to consider.
Yes, there is such a thing as a mild case, so you are may beright about this since you have been around to objectively watch her behavior.
A good website with info is www.bipolarworld.net.
Posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 18:32:15
In reply to Re: Help please...... » mikeyjoe, posted by fallsfall on May 11, 2005, at 14:40:44
Thank you for your kind words and advice. Yes, she is getting therapy. How this started was a diagnosis by our family MD of moderate depression, Rxn for Effexor and a referral to a Psycologist for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, so she will be receiving CBT as well. I need to find some coping skills and a good support group so that I can maintain my sanity and be a good support for her, a good Father for my kids and a good person for myself. As I said, I have been through mental illness with my 1st wife (10+yrs) and I found myself getting myself deeper and deeper in a hole. I want to do this a better way this time around.
> I took Lithium for 9 years. Medications have changed a lot since the zombie days. Lithium is an old medication, but the doctors are much more aware of the good and bad effects it can have on people.
>
> I suggest that you encourage your wife to get some therapy, too. Therapy could help her learn how to manage the cycles of bipolar.
>
> A bipolar diagnosis is not a disaster. Many people live very happy lives with bipolar.
>
> You sound like a caring husband. Her illness *will* effect you as well. If things aren't going smoothly, it is quite reasonable for you to go into therapy either by yourself or with her so that you can more capably support her. You might want to establish a relationship with a therapist so that if things get difficult later, you have someone to go to who knows you a little bit.
>
> She is lucky to be married to you.
Posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 18:40:23
In reply to Re: Help please...... » mikeyjoe, posted by PM80 on May 11, 2005, at 15:27:48
Thanks for your support, as well for the others who have written.
The Dr thinks she has had this since adolecence and has been able to hide/cover it until now. My words of encouragement were similiar - now that we know what it is we can treat it and get you healthy again. I also warned her of my experience with my 1st wife, that drug therapy is an art not a science, that it is about trial and error to get the right drug and the right dose. She will also be getting CBT, so the therapy angle will be covered. Now about therapy for me??? hhmmnnn
I am presently booking a trip to Puerto Vallarta for the first week of June - our 1st anniversary. We both need something to look forward to right now. Thanks goodness for Visa cards....;-)> I have a few thoughts that might make you a little less afraid of all of this.
>
> First, some perspective: your wife did not just come down with a case of the bipolars. She has had this the entire time that you've known her. The only difference is that now it has been labeled and identified. Which is actually a really good thing because now it can be treated.
>
> Second, medication is supposed to make things BETTER, not worse. If she is prescribed something whose side effects are worse than the symptoms that are being treated, then she should try something different. There are many different kinds/classes of mood-stabilizers out there. It can be a bit of a trial-and-error process whenever psychiatric drugs are used. Keeping a mood chart when starting a pdrug can be quite helpful to monitor its effectiveness. ALso, a lot of pdrugs are prescibed for off-label uses and work quite well so keep an open mind if your doc prescribes something off-label.
>
> Therapy can be very beneficial to someone dx'ed with BP and their spouse. So it's something to consider.
>
> Yes, there is such a thing as a mild case, so you are may beright about this since you have been around to objectively watch her behavior.
>
> A good website with info is www.bipolarworld.net.
>
>
Posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 18:42:49
In reply to Help please......, posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 11:35:14
Just a thought - you guys have been helpful already - does anybody have any success stories about healthy recovery and management from bipolar, especially milder cases?
Posted by sunny10 on May 12, 2005, at 8:55:39
In reply to Any success stories????, posted by mikeyjoe on May 11, 2005, at 18:42:49
yes.
I have a friend (known her for 29 years) who is bipolar. She is not "mildly bipolar", either! She's got it bad...
She didn't manage to "cope" like your current wife at all. She's been medicated since her teens.
She will be on medication for the rest of her life. We can all immediately tell when she doesn't take her meds and gently remind her (not often, but it happens).
She is an extremely succesful business woman and has four lovely children.
She is a great person. Kind, compassionate, loving, supportive of others.
She and her husband have the same sorts of problems that all families face (loss of his job, stresses, et cetera) and she remains strong.
How's that for a success story????
-sunny10
Posted by mikeyjoe on May 12, 2005, at 9:44:39
In reply to Re: Any success stories????, posted by sunny10 on May 12, 2005, at 8:55:39
How's that for a success story??? Awesome - I really needed that, a glimmer of hope.
My wife had her 2nd appt early this am. Rxn for lithium, literature for her to read and for me. Her next appt is May 30th and I get to go as well, which I am looking forward to. Lots of questions and I have a hunch he will be able to put my mind at ease, somewhat anyways. I wish it was sooner but he will be on vacation.Thanks again for your help and support.
> yes.
>
> I have a friend (known her for 29 years) who is bipolar. She is not "mildly bipolar", either! She's got it bad...
>
> She didn't manage to "cope" like your current wife at all. She's been medicated since her teens.
>
> She will be on medication for the rest of her life. We can all immediately tell when she doesn't take her meds and gently remind her (not often, but it happens).
>
> She is an extremely succesful business woman and has four lovely children.
>
> She is a great person. Kind, compassionate, loving, supportive of others.
>
> She and her husband have the same sorts of problems that all families face (loss of his job, stresses, et cetera) and she remains strong.
>
> How's that for a success story????
>
> -sunny10
Posted by sunny10 on May 12, 2005, at 10:02:12
In reply to Re: Any success stories????, posted by mikeyjoe on May 12, 2005, at 9:44:39
actually, look at his vacation as a chance to see how her body adjusts to the dosage of lithium he has prescribed, okay?
It takes a while to adjust to, as you say, it is an art, not a science... but doc won't really know until then how she is "settling in with it", anyhow.
An earlier appointment would seem a disappointment as the only thing doc could say is "it's too soon to tell for sure..." gosh knows we all hate hearing THAT (smile).
I am happy to be able to make you feel a little bit better- I'm sure the doc will help even more.
By the way, I'm not sure how prevalent they are, but I've heard of support group meetings for loved ones of those with mental illnesses. Maybe you can check into those? In the US, it is usally listed in the blue pages of the phone book... elsewhere you could try a google search...
Maybe that would help you while your wife is getting her own therapy?
Best of luck and, please, let us try to support you along the way, too.
-sunny10
This is the end of the thread.
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