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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lostforwards on December 16, 2004, at 21:00:24
....before I was ever put through an insane amount of stress and AP I had a fairly good sense of right and wrong. I didn't need to think about it all the time. I felt it. Now that I've suffered what I think is brain damage, I'm getting all sorts of irrational thoughts...along with my physical symptoms...definetely not good... really not good... I don't like it either... who's idea was this anyway???
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 22:15:43
In reply to my moral sense is fading away..., posted by lostforwards on December 16, 2004, at 21:00:24
so are you disparaging?
How could you have changed so radically?
what happened?
You have landed in the right place.
PB is a cool site with very interesting people.
Ja*
Posted by lostforwards on December 16, 2004, at 23:01:17
In reply to Re: my moral sense is fading away..., posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 22:15:43
Disparaging is a big word and I don't know how to interpret it the way you've used it. I don't know what happened or why it happened. I just get random violent thoughts and sexual urges I never had before. A lack of moral restraint. It was really bad for a while, then it gradually got better. Loud noises make me very irritable. I freak out and hit myself more often than I used to. It's almost as if half my brain shut down after being on the meds. Or at least that my ability to cope with something is gone or depleted.... I don't know... I wish you knew. I wish someone on here knew.
I also completely space out sometimes and I'm a different person. Like suddenly all me disappears and I'm under someone elses spell. It's like I'm 5 again. I don't know. Usually after a minor amount of stress I completely phase into a reactive, or something, personality change. It's weird. I also loose my train of thought a lot, and all those other things I've mentioned dozens of times that make no sense to me. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Something is defintely wrong though and isn't very straight forward.
thanks you.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2004, at 3:13:20
In reply to Re: my moral sense is fading away..., posted by lostforwards on December 16, 2004, at 23:01:17
You should try to get an appointment with your Dr.
If things didn't turn out too well with your last one, can you see another one?
It sounds to me like you could really use a medication review.
I say this with kindness,
I am worried about you.
Posted by lostforwards on December 17, 2004, at 7:09:45
In reply to I think... » lostforwards, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2004, at 3:13:20
they dissociated my sexuality away from me. completely. It easily triggers with sleep deprivation. I don't have a mood disorder. If I take no lithium, and just do a little sleep deprivation and proding, I dissociate. Those group stalkers wanted to mess me up so I'd rape someone or something. Oh well... I don't even feel like writing this, but you know why I'm writing it, cause I know and I analyze my dreams...and I think too much... and I don't trust doctors.... and I'll let my mom rape me as much as she wants. She didn't actually do it, but the psychology was there... my friends also lied... you won't believe any of this but you were part of the puzzle... they got you to trip me out so I would dissociate.. .they even went as far as changing the color of a car. isn't that sick? is it healthy to have multiple personalities? I don't think it is... especially when they're so easily triggered. I might become one of those sleep sex guys... I don't know what to do... it's been hell...really it has... they were trying to kill my feelings is what someone said... drugs can causes switches though... the way it works is, one part of my personality is stored in the right half of my brain and the other on the left... I know that's a crude generalization but it's true. I now have complete dissociation. Almost. Sleeping a full night will shit brain activity from one area to the other, missing sleep will trigger the state I'm in now - which isn't natural - oh dear...what a mess.
one thing is for sure. never the doctor. sorry. i hate them.
Posted by lostforwards on December 17, 2004, at 8:50:27
In reply to I think... » lostforwards, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2004, at 3:13:20
sorry. I wish I could explain all of that more clearly. I didn't mean to freak you out. I wish I could feel the way I felt the first time I got a virtual hug from you. I think you're like a lot like a girl who was in my dreams. I think she was my inner self or something. Now I've really freaked you out. Sorry. I may see another doctor. I don't really want to for a lot of reasons. hugs.
Posted by lostforwards on December 17, 2004, at 8:55:26
In reply to I think... » lostforwards, posted by alexandra_k on December 17, 2004, at 3:13:20
I'm no good at this...I keep sounding crazy.
>I say this with kindness,
I am worried about you.Let's just say I take that very seriously. Thank you. I appreciated it.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 17, 2004, at 9:30:52
In reply to Re: I think..., posted by lostforwards on December 17, 2004, at 8:55:26
It sounds like things are very difficult right now, and what you describe would feel very frightening if it were happening to me. I'm sorry it is happening to you. And I can certainly understand that if medications have been at least in part responsible for some of the changes you have experienced, then seeing a doctor might feel scary as well.
But not all doctors and not all medications are bad or harmful. I hope you are able to connect with someone who is caring, understanding, and knowledgeable to give you what you are looking for.
Be well,
gg
Posted by alexandra_k on December 20, 2004, at 14:48:19
In reply to Re: I feel..., posted by lostforwards on December 17, 2004, at 8:50:27
You still around? You haven't freaked me out, but I am a bit worried about you. Mostly because I think that a medication could really help you with your spinning thoughts, and help you feel better too. I am not a fan of medications in general, but when my head starts to spin they really help me out.
Not all Dr's are the same. Sounds like you have gotten a pretty crappy deal from some in the past. But not all of them are like that. Please at least consider it.
I wish I could make you feel better, but I don't know how. But my thoughts are with you.
Posted by lostforwards on December 20, 2004, at 22:06:43
In reply to How are you doing? » lostforwards, posted by alexandra_k on December 20, 2004, at 14:48:19
alexandra_k! I'm still around. I'm glad I haven't freaked you out.
Have you ever heard that song by the cars? I don't even know the name of it. I guess you're just what I needed...something like that. I think I just need a really good aphrodisiac that'll stop me from thinking and keep me loving. Right now I'm going through hell. I made some stupid mistake, I think it was thinking too much, getting paranoid, and not losing myself in other people enough. I've lost myself a few times. They're trying to kill me, I think. I wish I could turn things around. I wish I could be some other place, surrounded by something nice, warm and cozy. Unfortunately I'm all alone in this empty appartment with very few connections. I'm slowly going crazy, and my father is trying to kill me. In a figurative sense. He keeps coughing and gagging everytime I start to fall for someone. I'm not beating around the bush. I'm serious. It sucks.
I think I might find someone to talk to about these experiences, maybe they could help me. I'd really like to find a really good psychiatrist. I'm not talking about being social either. I mean good psychiatrist who knows the ins and outs of everything and isn't afraid to consider the effects of experience on brain chemistry and the development of mental illness.
So far, all I've ever had is ( mostly - though there is one who I wouldn't throw in this catagory, but still don't find very helpful ) prescription writers.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2004, at 4:32:48
In reply to Re: How are you doing? » alexandra_k, posted by lostforwards on December 20, 2004, at 22:06:43
> I think I might find someone to talk to about these experiences, maybe they could help me. I'd really like to find a really good psychiatrist. I'm not talking about being social either. I mean good psychiatrist who knows the ins and outs of everything and isn't afraid to consider the effects of experience on brain chemistry and the development of mental illness.
> So far, all I've ever had is ( mostly - though there is one who I wouldn't throw in this catagory, but still don't find very helpful ) prescription writers.No wonder you don't like Dr's much! I went through a phase of that too, and I didn't like going and I didn't really take the meds. Because they didn't seem to want to know what was going on for me at all and how can they make informed medication decisions without that knowledge? Well, that is what I thought anyway.
But not all are like that. You could see a therapist and then you definately would be able to talk to someone about all this stuff that is eating you up going round and round in your head. A T would be able to talk to a Dr about the medication stuff, but when you were with the T you would just be able to talk.
I agree that for a lot of people (me included) medication alone is just a waste of time.
Glad you are still ok.
I know what it is like to live in a sparse, cold place. It is hard. Where you live is a huge part of your life, whether you want it to be or not.
Hang in there. It has to get better. It just has to.
Posted by lostforwards on December 22, 2004, at 22:33:48
In reply to Re: How are you doing? » lostforwards, posted by alexandra_k on December 21, 2004, at 4:32:48
((((alexandra_k))))) Thank you. I think seeing a good psychologist would really help me out. It seems almost as if I'm developing DID. Keep the hugs coming.
This is the end of the thread.
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