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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 5 to 29 of 58. Go back in thread:
Posted by All Done on December 10, 2004, at 0:18:50
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie » All Done, posted by Atticus on December 9, 2004, at 20:37:20
> ... he'll hit you up for a cig, knowing full well you're down to your last one, and ...
your wife won't let you smoke in the house. So, you'll bring him to the patio and begrudgingly give him your last smoke. After he's done with the cigarette, he'll realize he'd really like a shot of Kahlua to go with the milk, so...
Posted by GeishaGirl on December 10, 2004, at 2:06:37
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by All Done on December 10, 2004, at 0:18:50
> > ... he'll hit you up for a cig, knowing full well you're down to your last one, and ...
>
> your wife won't let you smoke in the house. So, you'll bring him to the patio and begrudgingly give him your last smoke. After he's done with the cigarette, he'll realize he'd really like a shot of Kahlua to go with the milk, so...out of antler fear, you run out to the package store and get some cigs and house brand coffee liquor. You get back with the booze and the moose complains "This isn't Kahlua and by the way, where is my vodka?" at which point...
Posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 11:10:19
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by GeishaGirl on December 10, 2004, at 2:06:37
... you'll begin to have second thoughts about all those peyote buttons you ate, because you can't tell the difference between a mouse and a moose. Then the revelation hits you that you've never seen a mouse and moose together, and ponder if it's like a Clark Kent/Superman thing, which would explain the colossal size of the droppings you've been encountering around the house, and ...
Posted by alesta on December 10, 2004, at 11:23:12
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie » GeishaGirl, posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 11:10:19
> ... you'll begin to have second thoughts about all those peyote buttons you ate, because you can't tell the difference between a mouse and a moose. Then the revelation hits you that you've never seen a mouse and moose together, and ponder if it's like a Clark Kent/Superman thing, which would explain the colossal size of the droppings you've been encountering around the house, and ...
(lol) you turn around, and see that the moose has once again transformed to a mouse. at this point, you contemplate conceding to his request for vodka, as you could really use some yourself, and...
Posted by anastasia56 on December 10, 2004, at 18:13:25
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 10, 2004, at 11:23:12
The author Laura Numeroff of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie also wrote If You Give a Moose a Muffin and If You Give a Pig a Pancake. So the whole mushroom/vodka thing is in reality a muffin/pancake thing.
Posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 19:02:01
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 10, 2004, at 11:23:12
... this turns out to be a frightful lapse in judgment, as the mouse turns out to be a mean drunk who grabs a miniature plastic toy G.I. Joe M-16 with fixed bayonet and chases the cat around the house, causing a huge bloody row until you get him calmed down. Then he starts getting all weepy over the "Stuart Little" books, commenting in a slurred tone, "They're just soooooo beautiful, man, they're just sooooooo f**king beautiful." You wonder if a bit of wacky tobaccy will chill him out and dig out your stash, and ...
Posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 19:45:45
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 19:02:01
...he tells you he prefers it with a bong, so you light it up for him in the backyard, as you're still not allowed to smoke in the house, and he takes many long, long draws, and his eyes slowly dim a bit and he relaxes, he asks for a telephone so he can call his therapist ...
Posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:20:41
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 19:45:45
He'll just waste your time telling you how good that cookie was and how he'd like to have cookies like that forever and then one day he will find better cookies and leave you sitting there with a batch in the oven......
Posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:22:19
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:20:41
Why doesn't that stupid mouse give me a cookie once in a while.........
Posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:51
In reply to Re: Why Do I have to be the one giving the cookie?, posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:22:19
Did that mouse leave you with a batch in the oven, hon?
I don't think so ...
Posted by AdaGrace on December 10, 2004, at 22:49:24
In reply to Re: Why Do I have to be the one giving the cookie?, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:51
Yes, he did. They were delicious cookies baked with love and there they lay all hard and crumbly and noone wants to eat them anymore....
Posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 23:43:47
In reply to Re: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 19:45:45
... so you let him chat for about an hour, though mostly he just laughs 'cause he's high as a kite. But after he gets off the phone, he lets slip that his therapist is on holiday in Rio, and you realize the little b*stard has just cost you a fortune. So you pick up the novelty Coca-Cola can decoration that gyrates to "Jingle Bell Rock" and set about squashing the punk, but he turns back into the moose, who accuses you of being a royal buzzkill and charges, leaving you to ...
Posted by AdaGrace on December 11, 2004, at 0:32:48
In reply to Right. We rejoin our story already in progress ... » Susan47, posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 23:43:47
why I started this post........
HUMOR!!!!!!
Give me humor......or give me death.....or was that liberty.....Liberty Valance?
Valance or Blind.........Curtain my friend, it's just a freakin curtain.....
Ada, wishing to God she could withdraw from the coca cola high, Grace
Posted by alesta on December 11, 2004, at 5:25:13
In reply to Right. We rejoin our story already in progress ... » Susan47, posted by Atticus on December 10, 2004, at 23:43:47
run like hell!!! you run, flailing your arms and screaming, "Moose! Moooooose!"
the moose, being a heavy smoker, has trouble keeping up..you start to feel cocky and start devising ways to get revenge on the big brown basta%d. and so..
Posted by Atticus on December 11, 2004, at 19:41:26
In reply to this is great, man. anyway, back to our story... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 11, 2004, at 5:25:13
... you have a sit-down with the cat, because cats are really brilliant at this sort of thing, and besides, the cat is still pretty p*ssed off that the moose chased him all over the house with that toy G.I. Joe combat rifle while the moose was in its mouse form. The cat suggests leaving a decapitated vole on the moose's pillow, but you remind him that it's been done -- he did it to you just this past summer. He then suggests puking into one of the moose's slippers, but again, you tell him that note's been played. Then he comes up with a plan so wonderfully diabolical that you thank God for inventing cats. It involves ...
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:59:18
In reply to Re: this is great, man. anyway, back to our story... » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 11, 2004, at 19:41:26
the cat is whispering the plan as he disappears stripe by stripe until only a smile is floating in the tree branch.....
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 20:50:30
In reply to Re: Thank you for reminding me » Atticus, posted by AdaGrace on December 11, 2004, at 0:32:48
This belongs to all of us now, Adagrace lovey ... so play the game, like a good girl. What happened next, lovey?
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:02:04
In reply to Re: this is great, man. anyway, back to our story..., posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:59:18
....his way towards you, is in fact, now upon you, and his tobacco-breath is overwhelming your senses, making you want to puke, but then magically, he becomes the sweet little mouse again, and you realize you missed the little bastard, in spite of the way he abused his telephone privileges ...
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 6:47:55
In reply to And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:02:04
...so you get an idea. in this delusional moment of affection and good will you feel toward the rodent, you decide to break out your stash of ecstasy, in the hopes that the mouse will see the light--that all this conflict between you and the mouse is really a cover-up for the undying love you have for one another. you quickly grab the protesting mouse and force a hit down his tobacco-scented, but lovely, throat, and..
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:34:20
In reply to AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 20:50:30
yeah, ada, get your butt in on some of this action! you started this crazy thread..amy :)
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 8:43:30
In reply to Re: AdaGrace » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:34:20
Posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 10:56:06
In reply to Re: AdaGrace » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:34:20
I started it so others could post.......not feeling like adding at the moment.....
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 11:25:19
In reply to Re: AdaGrace » alesta, posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 10:56:06
Posted by Atticus on December 12, 2004, at 19:07:49
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » Susan47, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 6:47:55
... he suggests you both hit the clubs. You go to grab your shoes, but when you get back to the living room, you realize the mouse has gone missing with your wallet in tow. Now you're really, really furious at the damned rodent, so you have a sit-down with the cat to plot some kind of payback, because cats are really brilliant at this sort of thing, and besides, the cat is still pretty p*ssed off that the moose chased him all over the house with that toy G.I. Joe combat rifle while the moose was in its mouse form. The cat suggests leaving a decapitated vole on the mouse's pillow, but you remind him that it's been done -- he did it to you just this past summer. He then suggests puking into one of the mouse's slippers, but again, you tell him that note's been played. Then he comes up with a plan so wonderfully diabolical that you thank God for inventing cats. It involves ...
Posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 5:57:48
In reply to Re: And you realize the bloody moose is stumbling » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 12, 2004, at 19:07:49
..but, wait, he once again moose-materialized. the moose is tripping hard now, so he turns on some rave dance music and hits on your wife in the living room. now you are beyond pissed. so the cat smiles mischievously and says, "i think it's time our little friend leaves..permanently." heheeheehaha. you smile wickedly, anticipating his diabolical plan. the cat says that he will attempt to distract mr. "casinova" moose, while you hit him over the head with a sledgehammer, and..
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