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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shortelise on October 19, 2004, at 20:08:02
My house is a mess, my husband is irritated with me, my sister and her husband arrive for a visit tomorrow night, my car died, I have to make something for dinner, and my entire world feels like a half empty glass.
I want to eat, just eat and eat. I want to sleep, hide, curl up and hybernate, tell the world to go away. Will my T have time to see me on Thursday?
I hate it when my husband is mad at me. I am not doing this on purpose, just sometimes everything is just too much for me. It's not that I'm sitting around weeping, I just feel overwhelmed by even the smallest thing.
Do others get this way?
ShortE
Posted by gardenergirl on October 19, 2004, at 21:24:18
In reply to bad day, posted by shortelise on October 19, 2004, at 20:08:02
You betcha. Last week it was my period and traffic. That's all it took to lead to a near melt-down. I was on the way to a new massage therapist, too. Good thing she was incredibly skilled. Calmed me down like that! Cause otherwise, I might have been blubbering in my car forever and a day.
I hope your day goes better tomorrow.
gg
Posted by Cass on October 19, 2004, at 21:25:58
In reply to bad day, posted by shortelise on October 19, 2004, at 20:08:02
"My house is a mess, my husband is irritated with me, my sister and her husband arrive for a visit tomorrow night, my car died, I have to make something for dinner, and my entire world feels like a half empty glass."
I would feel overwhelmed by even one of those things. Family visits are ultra stressful for me as I come from a background with lots of emotional abuse. I get overwhelmed by any mechanical problems especially car problems, and when my husband is upset with me, I usually feel like it's the end of the world, and when my house is a mess, well... my house is always a mess.
I don't blame you for being stressed out. I wish I had some profoundly good advice for you. I just hope you take it easy on yourself. Try to stay centered and in the moment because that's where happiness is. You're not alone. Keep posting and we'll help you make it through.
Posted by shortelise on October 20, 2004, at 12:28:51
In reply to Re: bad day, posted by gardenergirl on October 19, 2004, at 21:24:18
I keep trying to convince myself to go for a massage - but now that I have to buy a new car, I can't afford it.
The final straw was that my cleaning lady called and quit last night. It was incredible. She usually charges $20 an hour. She told me that when I called her the first time. I said, thank you, but that's too expensive for me. She asked how much I'd pay, I said $15, which is what every other cleaning lady I've had in the past year has charged. She said ok.
After working for me for maybe two months, she called last night and said she has a new client for my time who will pay the $20 so she isn't coming.
And she wants to be a doula! She's 30 years old and can't even understand that what she did is incredibly crappy - how could she possibly be something as sensitive as a doula?
Stupid cow.
So, I have to spend my day cleaning my house, which makes me want to scream - having a cleaning lady is something I make sacrifices in order to have. And my husband, thinking he was doing something nice, arranged for a cleaning crew to come - but they won't tidy things, which is what I need. My house isn't dirty, it's unitdy. SO I have to tidy the whole @#$%^&*( thing before they get here at two.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK.ShortE
Posted by shortelise on October 20, 2004, at 12:34:59
In reply to Re: bad day » shortelise, posted by Cass on October 19, 2004, at 21:25:58
Thanks Cass
Staying in the moment is what I will try to do all day.
My sister and I have a history of causing each other a lot of emotional pain - as well as hair pulling, biting, and pinching when we were kids - but we've come to a point where we are gentle and understandingof one another. It's not perfect, but we are both aware and trying hard. I like her and I love her, and her husband is such a sweet heart. It has taken years to get here, and a great effort on her part as well as years of therapy on mine. It's funny, but myhusband has said many times that my therapy has beenhis therapy, and the same seems to be true for my family, esp. this sister.
Stay in the moment. My mantra for today. If you read my post to GG above, you'll see what I'm doing with this day.
Thanks again. I appreciate the response. It helps a lot when others seem to understand.
ShortE
Posted by Cass on October 20, 2004, at 13:05:37
In reply to middle class white girl whine » gardenergirl, posted by shortelise on October 20, 2004, at 12:28:51
That is frustrating, Elise. $20 an hour seems pretty high!!
Hey, what the heck is a doula?
Posted by shortelise on October 20, 2004, at 13:18:11
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » shortelise, posted by Cass on October 20, 2004, at 13:05:37
a doula is a person who sees a woman through pregnancy and childbirth - is an emotional support, not a medical one, nor is she a midwife. She is hired to help with the practical and emotional side of things - that's as far as I know.
ShortE
I live in Canada, so $20 cdn is about $16 US
Posted by Stressee on October 20, 2004, at 16:52:57
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine, posted by shortelise on October 20, 2004, at 13:18:11
I have a friend who cleans houses for a living, and I know she charges 20.00 per hour (US). I have seen her after she has left a house and she is dripping with sweat. Yes, she works that hard. I'm sure some don't, she's just a ball of energy. I don't have a cleaning person, I have in the past though. My problem is that I'm sure the person wouldn't do it correctly and I would have to do it over again, or complain to no end for days to my hubby. I am surely with you on all accounts. I have more days like you had than not, and I will tell you it does start to grate on a person. Hang in there.....what part of Canada are you residing? -L
Posted by gardenergirl on October 21, 2004, at 15:51:00
In reply to middle class white girl whine » gardenergirl, posted by shortelise on October 20, 2004, at 12:28:51
Um, I don't want to spark any interest in debating this, but shortE, I think your post is quite expressive and does not offend me in the least. I'm puzzled about the idea that it could be uncivil. sigh...
Take care,
gg
Posted by Cass on October 21, 2004, at 16:28:53
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » shortelise, posted by gardenergirl on October 21, 2004, at 15:51:00
Did I miss something? Did someone say it was uncivil?
I certainly don't think it's uncivil.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 21, 2004, at 16:34:56
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » gardenergirl, posted by Cass on October 21, 2004, at 16:28:53
No, it wasn't the least bit uncivil.
Admin struck again.
Posted by Cass on October 21, 2004, at 17:08:51
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » Cass, posted by partlycloudy on October 21, 2004, at 16:34:56
Posted by fayeroe on October 21, 2004, at 22:00:34
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » Cass, posted by partlycloudy on October 21, 2004, at 16:34:56
things are definitely buiding into a fevered pitch of "beyond the pale".......there was nothing uncivil at all about the post.
your very own middle-classed ole lady, faye
Posted by gardenergirl on October 22, 2004, at 23:13:23
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » partlycloudy, posted by fayeroe on October 21, 2004, at 22:00:34
I swear I am the palest of them all. I once went to a professional photog for a passport picture. (Small town, not much choice). Anyway, he must have taken about 10 pics, measuring the light each time, fiddling with the settings and the light. Finally he said, "Your face gives off more light than anyone I've ever seen!" He was simply amazed! And had decades of experience.
I didn't know whether to be insulted, powder my nose, or be complimented. Must be my halo glowing, eh? HAH!
And self-tanner? It simply cuts the glare so that people can remove their sunglasses when talking to me when I am in shorts. Swear to Dog!
gg
Posted by fayeroe on October 23, 2004, at 7:54:53
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine, posted by gardenergirl on October 22, 2004, at 23:13:23
When I went to the Navajo Fair, I forgot sunblock. I also forgot that Window Rock is at 7k feet.......I wore short sleeved shirts into the arena. I got the most horrible farmers sunburn you've ever seen. I pulled my shirt off and my arms were fire engine red to a certain point and the rest was CHALKY WHITE! I laughed so hard that I cried.....You talk about unattractive! Then I peeled! Yes, like an alligator or something........AND I'm part Indian. And to think that had I asked L's advice, I'm sure he could have saved my day!!!
Posted by shortelise on October 27, 2004, at 17:17:28
In reply to Re: middle class white girl whine » shortelise, posted by gardenergirl on October 21, 2004, at 15:51:00
What's this about civility?
How did that come up?
Was I uncivil? Who said so? What did I say that was not civil?
Huh???
Posted by shortelise on October 27, 2004, at 17:19:03
In reply to bad day, posted by shortelise on October 19, 2004, at 20:08:02
It's on the list once you click on a psot here, but it's not on the main list ... why?
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 27, 2004, at 17:46:51
In reply to my post didn't show up!!!, posted by shortelise on October 27, 2004, at 17:19:03
Posted by shortelise on October 27, 2004, at 19:11:18
In reply to Re: which post? (nm) » shortelise, posted by Dr. Bob on October 27, 2004, at 17:46:51
when I refreshed the page, neither of these showed up. I don't understand, I think, how it works when one posts on a thread that is no longer on the current page.
I am finding this site a little confusing these days, probably as I'm not very well acquainted with forums and their "personalities"
ShortE
Posted by gardenergirl on October 27, 2004, at 20:27:22
In reply to Re: which post? (nm) » shortelise, posted by Dr. Bob on October 27, 2004, at 17:46:51
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041016/msgs/405132.html
I think this is the one.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on October 27, 2004, at 20:31:19
In reply to HUH???, posted by shortelise on October 27, 2004, at 17:17:28
Hi, I can understand your confusion. Your first post with the "middle class white girl whine" subject line was submitted to administration for reveiw. I can't find that thread now, as that board has archived since then. But it was NOT found to be uncivil by Dr. Bob. Really only one poster posted a question about it's potential for being uncivil.
As far as not finding posts on a thread, when the board archives, some of the early posts on a thread can disappear from the page. I don't know what the criteria is for this. But if you open a post within that thread, you can scroll up the list and find the other posts that are not showing on the board. For instance, this thread started with "bad day". If you look at the list after opening my post here, you will see "bad day" and then ... and then more posts. By opening "bad day" you will find the missing posts back on the list.
Confusing? It was hard to 'splain. Perhaps Dr. Bob can do a more coherent job.
My post to you was to reassure you without entering into a dialog on admin. about it. I'm sorry I didn't reference the admin. thread for your clarification.
Take care,
gg
Posted by shortelise on October 27, 2004, at 21:05:22
In reply to Re: HUH??? » shortelise, posted by gardenergirl on October 27, 2004, at 20:31:19
Thanks GG.
I don't think that post was uncivil either. I was pretty upset. It was a very stressful few days.
Mystery solved!
ShortE
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2004, at 3:57:45
In reply to Re: HUH??? » shortelise, posted by gardenergirl on October 27, 2004, at 20:31:19
This is the end of the thread.
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