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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 11:00:19
I will personally feel like a failure, because I'm trying really really hard to help. Translation, it has to be worth living for them or I'm no good. Which means what is this board for???
Posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 11:01:41
In reply to If Scott or B2 hurt themselves, posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 11:00:19
*History* lessons, maybe???
Posted by AuntieMel on August 27, 2004, at 11:29:05
In reply to If Scott or B2 hurt themselves, posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 11:00:19
Ok, Susan. Now you are talking garbage. You are trying your best and if it doesn't work it's NOT your fault.
Just like you can't blame anyone else for your choices, you can't take responsibility for another person's choices.
(hope I wasn't too blunt)
Mel
Posted by JenStar on August 27, 2004, at 11:37:42
In reply to Re: If Scott or B2 hurt themselves » Susan47, posted by AuntieMel on August 27, 2004, at 11:29:05
Susan,
Mel's right! Take a breath.You're awesome for wanting to help, but there's a point at which you can't offer more. Calm down & take care of yourself first.
(I think gg put it really well a while back, in a way that made me smile and reflect at the same time: "Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs.")
Also, I think B2 mentioned that she wouldn't write again til Monday (?) -- or that Scott was going to write Monday. (?) We should keep an eye out early next wk to see how they are doing.
Give yourself a break. You are NOT a failure if something happens to another person...please keep yourself sane & healthy too!
I hope you spend AT LEAST as much time on yourself as you do worrying about all of us here. :) You're worth it too. :)
JenStar
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on August 27, 2004, at 12:49:45
In reply to If Scott or B2 hurt themselves, posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 11:00:19
Susan,
That is some very dangerous thinking on your part. The only person you are responsible for is yourself. You can give all the help, empathy, and advice you can, that's all you can do.
One of my rational thought mantras "Excessive worry helps NO ONE"
Posted by Scott in Vermont on August 27, 2004, at 13:18:30
In reply to Re: If Scott or B2 hurt themselves, posted by Miss Honeychurch on August 27, 2004, at 12:49:45
I agree with all the above. Do what you can to for others, but in the end, save yourself. I worked in law enforcement at one point in my life. Selfless sacrifice is not recommended. Do what you can do, learn to pick your battles, and move on. There is good in this world that you CAN do. Find it, do it, and take satisfaction from it.
I'm not it. Read my other post below.
Posted by zenhussy on August 27, 2004, at 13:38:43
In reply to If Scott or B2 hurt themselves, posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 11:00:19
> I will personally feel like a failure, because I'm trying really really hard to help. Translation, it has to be worth living for them or I'm no good. Which means what is this board for???
Please read my above post to you from another thread: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040820/msgs/383015.html
Your feelings are just that YOURS!!! So feeling like a failure is how you are feeling about this situation. No one is making you feel that way. No one has the power to make you feel that way.
You're responsible for how you are feeling. Anything beyond that is out of your control. Taking care of yourself needs to be priority number one.
Dr. Hsiung has been made aware of the situations at hand. He's a professional with years of experience on ethics committees to guide his judgement calls in these situations. Although this board no longer has any ties to the University of Chicago I'm certain that the years of employment Dr. Hsiung has had with them (and is still currently employed by them) have made him more than prepared to handle these delicate situations with professional restraint.
Please take care of you!!
--zh
Posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 15:50:17
In reply to Re: If Scott or B2 hurt themselves » Susan47, posted by AuntieMel on August 27, 2004, at 11:29:05
No; I was being manipulative.
Posted by shortelise on August 29, 2004, at 13:01:15
In reply to For Auntie, posted by Susan47 on August 27, 2004, at 15:50:17
I suspected as much, Susan.
If anyone hurts him/herself, it's that person's responsibility, not mine.
Over the years, several friends have chosen to take their own lives. One's psychiatrist even said to me that if I hadn't left him, an ex-boyfriend of mine would still be alive! I was only 23 years old. I knew better though, knew it was bullshit and that beneath her anger at me was her own sense of failure.
This is interesting though. I understand that people want to talk about feeling suicidal, and this is a good place to do it. When we have these feelings, it can really help to talk about them, not stay in our own heads. And friends and family completely freak at the mention.
So I think it's good that we can talk about it here, to think it through, to see what others have to say about it.I would like to think I could talk about these feelings here without people panicking. I think I'll start a thread on this suubject.
ShortE
Posted by Susan47 on August 30, 2004, at 22:24:29
In reply to Re: For Auntie » Susan47, posted by shortelise on August 29, 2004, at 13:01:15
Yes and even though it was a two-word post, the feelings behind it were horrible. As soon as I stopped feeling responsible for what happened I realized I should've let these guys talk it out without me. I just intensely dislike anybody to feel so tortured. I know it sounds really banal, but it just got me where I live, I guess. I'm gonna go crawl under a rock.
This is the end of the thread.
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