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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pegasus on August 16, 2004, at 15:29:26
I'm still bursting with thoughts about being pregnant, with precious few folks IRL to talk to about it.
I'm going to list all of the things I've tried over the years to enhance my fertility. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. So in no particular order:
- Saw a nutritionist
- Lots of nutritional supplements (GABA, Niacinimide, Omega 3 oils, Carnitine, prenatal vitamins, B vitamin complex, actifolate, Body Balance)
- Totally rearranged my diet (added meat, nuts and seeds, leafy greens; subtracted gluten, caffeine, ginger, peas, rhubarb and other seemingly random things; reduced sugars, fats, dairy)
- Every fertility test on the books (never found anything wrong, except thyroid hormones)
- Started a meditation practice
- Yoga, Pilates regularly
- Exercise vacation for several months
- Integrative Manual Therapy
- Neuromuscular massage
- Mayan abdominal massage (I highly recommend)
- Charting basal body temperature, cervix position, cervical fluid for*ever*
- Progesterone cream (to lengthen cycle)
- Evening Primrose Oil (to improve cervical fluids)
- Lots of therapy around motherhood issues
- Dropped to 32 hours of work per week
- Clomid and insemination (only one round - the miracle round)
- Lots of adjustments to thyroid medication
- Craniosacral therapy
- Energy work and muscle testing
- Flower essences and homeopathic remedies
- Accupuncture and Chinese herbs
- Special chiropractic treatment
- Bought some purportedly miraculous green tea
- Annointed myself with water from some special fertility enhancing lake in Tibet (really!)
- Gave up and started talking to adoption agencies
- Changed my bike route to work to avoid transmission lines (EMFs, you know)
- Bought a few maternity clothes :)
- Visualizations and affirmations ("My body is a healthy place for a baby to grow")
- and, of course, lots of sex
I'm probably leaving some things out. Geez, I sound desperate and obsessed. Really, though, I think I've been fundamentally ok with whatever happened, although wanting very much to be a mom. Keep in mind that all of this happened over the course of several years.
pegasus
Posted by daisym on August 16, 2004, at 16:49:27
In reply to pregnancy diary, posted by pegasus on August 16, 2004, at 15:29:26
Peg,
It is a long list but all are positive things to try to get what you wanted...a baby. My brother and his wife tried for years and then ended up doing invitro...and it took the first time! Then, surprise...11 months later they had another son. So they have 2 really close together. The Lord works in many ways!
I think it is normal to reflect on everything you've been through, including asking yourself if you were really "OK" with it not working. You probably were, you weren't fooling yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't also be THRILLED about being pregnant. I believe in doing all we can to get what we want.
The first three months are scary. You are so happy and yet so aware of what the possibilities are. Remember to eat right, get enough sleep, gentle exercise and monitor that thyroid and your blood pressure.
And keep posting. I taught childbirth education for 10 years so I know how important it is to talk about all this stuff. Also, keep a dream diary if you can. Pregnancy dreams are fascinating!
Belly-hug from me.
Daisy
Posted by All Done on August 18, 2004, at 1:55:52
In reply to pregnancy diary, posted by pegasus on August 16, 2004, at 15:29:26
Oh, Peg! Congratulations! I'm very happy for you. :)
I had some difficulty getting pregnant as well and my son is a result of IVF. You must be overflowing with joy after your struggles. It really makes you understand "miracle of life", huh?
You are going to make a fantastic mom! Keep us posted and take care of you and Baby Pegasus.
Laurie
Posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 11:57:19
In reply to pregnancy diary, posted by pegasus on August 16, 2004, at 15:29:26
My hubby and I have been talking about names, and we agreed on a plan that will totally fry our parents, but feels really right to both of us: We're going to give the baby my last name. My H and I have different last names, and are both quite opposed to changing them. We're both feminists, and just couldn't feel comfortable about giving the baby his last name. We'd only be doing it to please other people, which doesn't seem like the right reason to us. To please ourselves, we'd like to flip that tradition. It seems that kids around here have so many last name variations these days that we don't expect it to raise many eyebrows locally. And to appease our parents, we'll add my husband's last name as a second middle name, so no one will imagine that he isn't claiming the baby (my father actually mentioned this once in a different context).
For first names, I'm thinking Leo if it's a boy, and Solea if it's a girl (I got that from an Ursula K. LeGuine novel). Leo hasn't got a middle name so far (maybe Oliver? maybe Isaiah?), but I think a girl might be Solea Joy.
Opinions? Feel free to lay it on me. I want to hear it all early, so I can be prepared for what happens later IRL. I can take it. :)
pegasus
Posted by AuntieMel on August 18, 2004, at 16:24:28
In reply to Crazy baby name ideas, posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 11:57:19
I like your last name idea. I thought about it - hubby has one of those long unpronouncable names. It just seems right to give a kid a name that would give it the least grief in the future.
Posted by fallsfall on August 19, 2004, at 8:51:37
In reply to Crazy baby name ideas, posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 11:57:19
Choosing a name for your baby is such an exciting thing!
My daughters have names that I thought were a little unusual (fairly normal names, but not in the top 50). My son's name was more "popular" (but I didn't really know that at the time). My oldest daughter had two other girls in her 5th grade class with the same name (though they all spelled it differently). My youngest daughter had two other girls in her 2nd grade class with the same name. My son (the one with the popular name) has never had a kid in his class with the same name. Go figure. I would suggest that you look at a list of the "Top 10 names for boys" and "Top 10 names for girls" for this year, just so you will know if you are planning on a "popular" name. Every time I look at the lists I am surprised (I would not have guessed that "Madison" would be the #3 girls' name in 2003...).
Another suggestion is to ask a half a dozen people how they would spell the names you are considering. And ask a different half a dozen to pronounce the name that you have written down for them.
Also, what nicknames are people likely to give to a child with your chosen name? Do you like those nicknames? One of my daughters' names has an unpleasant rhyme that is often paired with her name when children want to taunt each other. I had talked to a friend who had that name, and she told me that was probably the worst part of that name. I had other reasons for really wanting that name, so when she was born I gave her a *different* rhyming nickname (which is now a favorite pet name) - noone called her the taunting name until she was in 9th grade!
Popular or non-popular, easy or hard to spell, easy or hard to pronounce - any choice you make on these is really fine. It is just nice to know which choice you are making *before* you finalize your naming decision. What a wonderful time!
P.S. Your last name plan sounds fine to me. Including your husbands last name as a middle name should placate the annoying relatives - who really have no say in the matter anyway!
Posted by woolav on August 19, 2004, at 10:59:54
In reply to Re: Crazy baby name ideas » pegasus, posted by fallsfall on August 19, 2004, at 8:51:37
I understand you guys not wanting to be traditional. But i have gotten so much crap over the years from my daughter (15) about her name. Its pretty and not unusual, but I spelled it different. So, for years i have heard, "Mom, I cant get anything ie: penicls, decals, stationary, with my name spelled right on it". She says she is going to change it one day. I have a very very common last name, so i wanted something different for her first...I guess no one is really happy with their name!!
S
Posted by pegasus on August 19, 2004, at 12:40:26
In reply to Crazy baby name ideas, posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 11:57:19
I appreciate everyone's comments re:names. I'm loving picking out names. I was glad that no one thought the last name thing was awful. I think my parents won't like it, but it feels like the right last name to my husband and myself.
My first name is one of those long formal names that has dozens of possible nicknames. And the one I go by doesn't sound much like the original name. So I get a lot of flack when people don't realize that I am the same person as my ID. So, I want to give my kids names that are just what they are. No nicknames. I think Leo is pretty safe.
I didn't think about the spelling thing. How would you pronounce Solea if you saw it written? (Hint: I'd probably put an accent aigu over the e).
pegasus
Posted by AuntieMel on August 19, 2004, at 13:21:47
In reply to Thanks everyone for your impressions, posted by pegasus on August 19, 2004, at 12:40:26
My youngest's name is actually a shortened version (nickname) of a longer, dated first name. I liked the shortened version, but not the other, so it's the shortened version on the birth certificate.
And she likes it, too. At 19. Quite unusual.
The only caveat I can think of is that the name should sound ok in a board room. They do get older. So Muffy should be out.
Posted by Emme on August 19, 2004, at 17:58:55
In reply to Crazy baby name ideas, posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 11:57:19
I think that's a great idea to give the baby your last name. And good that you are doing what you feel comfortable with rather than what anyone else wants. I've always thought that names should be transfered through the maternal side anyway. After all, there are times when the identity of the father is in question. But the identity of the mother is generally known!
The first names are awfully nice. They sound good and it's hard to make a bad nickname out of them. Solea Joy is lovely. My folks did well with my brothers - they gave them solid, time-tested monosyllabic names and they like their names fine. I really hate mine. (Emme is a version of a nickname). My real name is classic, but it's an unflattering image. But hey, they tried.
> My hubby and I have been talking about names, and we agreed on a plan that will totally fry our parents, but feels really right to both of us: We're going to give the baby my last name. My H and I have different last names, and are both quite opposed to changing them. We're both feminists, and just couldn't feel comfortable about giving the baby his last name. We'd only be doing it to please other people, which doesn't seem like the right reason to us. To please ourselves, we'd like to flip that tradition. It seems that kids around here have so many last name variations these days that we don't expect it to raise many eyebrows locally. And to appease our parents, we'll add my husband's last name as a second middle name, so no one will imagine that he isn't claiming the baby (my father actually mentioned this once in a different context).
>
> For first names, I'm thinking Leo if it's a boy, and Solea if it's a girl (I got that from an Ursula K. LeGuine novel). Leo hasn't got a middle name so far (maybe Oliver? maybe Isaiah?), but I think a girl might be Solea Joy.
>
> Opinions? Feel free to lay it on me. I want to hear it all early, so I can be prepared for what happens later IRL. I can take it. :)
>
> pegasus
Posted by fallsfall on August 20, 2004, at 7:31:13
In reply to Thanks everyone for your impressions, posted by pegasus on August 19, 2004, at 12:40:26
I'd pronounce it Soul-Lee'-ah.
At least any mispronounciations would be recognizable as her name. And most people could fairly easily come up with some way to pronounce it.
I work in a library. Instead of people bringing their cards, they usually give their last name (and most who have tricky last names spell the names, thank you!). Then I have in front of me the handful of family members' names and I try to guess which one is standing in front of me. First, I try to choose the names that match the sex of the person (chances are that the boy in front of me is not Sarah). So I read off the first names that might match ("Are you John? or Francis? or Bartholemew?"). But sometimes I can't tell what sex the name goes with (Solea does look like a feminine name to me). Other times the names are hard to pronounce - if I think I can come up with a reasonable guess, I'll try it. Sometimes I turn the computer screen towards them and say "Which one". Sometimes I say "and your first name...?" The people with really hard first names usually try to help me out - neither of us want me to butcher the pronounciation of their name. I think there is a balance between having a unique name and having a practical name - and different people prefer being in different places on that continuum.
Leo is pretty easy.
Assuming that you are pronouncing it Soul-Lay'-ah, I would have mispronounced it, but once you told me how it is supposed to be, I would be able to remember the correct pronounciation. If you like the sound of the name, but aren't adamant about the spelling, you could spell it Soleya to have a better chance of having it pronounced right. I'm liking Solea more as I think about it - It seems peaceful (and I like your pronunciation better than mine...)
What fun to name a baby!
Posted by AuntieMel on August 20, 2004, at 16:45:43
In reply to Solea » pegasus, posted by fallsfall on August 20, 2004, at 7:31:13
I've got one of them. Usually I spell it for them, but sometimes when I'm feeling frisky I say it. They will ask 'can you spell that' and I answer 'yes'
Posted by gabbix2 on August 20, 2004, at 19:37:27
In reply to Solea » pegasus, posted by fallsfall on August 20, 2004, at 7:31:13
I'd pronounce it So-lay-a And I think it's beautiful
Posted by Ilene on August 20, 2004, at 20:31:43
In reply to Crazy baby name ideas, posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 11:57:19
I read these somewhere and used them when we named our kids:
The first and last names together should have an odd number of syllables.
Be careful about having the first name end with a vowel when the last name begins with a vowel. Say it aloud a few times.
Here's a link to the Social Security Administration's lists of names:
http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/
Posted by Dinah on August 21, 2004, at 9:31:50
In reply to Thanks everyone for your impressions, posted by pegasus on August 19, 2004, at 12:40:26
I've known far fewer boys that hated their names, but quite a few girls that hated their names. Maybe you just can't win with girls. :) I really really hate my name and periodically decide to change it. It was only really appropriate in beach blanket movies.
My son has an enormously popular name, and we were worried that he would be XXX#7 in his classes. But as it happens, most of the boys at school have very unusual names that are probably some variant of a family last name. Come to think of it, most of the girls do too. :) Seems to be the naming trend in my area. We chose the only boy's name that both my husband and I liked, despite its popularity, and gave him my maiden name as a middle name.
If we had had a daughter, her first name would have been a lovely classic name that happened to be a combination of my maternal and my husband's paternal grandmothers. Her middle name would have been a 19th century name that would have probably got her some ribbing, but just happened to be the name of my paternal and my husband's maternal grandmother. You can't resist that kind of coincidence, given how unusual the name is.
But I'm guessing our preference towards very traditional naming patterns came from the fact that both my husband and I were named "name of the year", mine from quite a few years before I was born, my husband's from the year he was born (he was XXX #7). So we wanted to go in the opposite direction of trying to connect our child to its history. But as I said above, apparently every parent in our area had the same idea the same year. :)
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 12:57:28
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone for your impressions » pegasus, posted by AuntieMel on August 19, 2004, at 13:21:47
Good point on the board room, Mel. I've always kept that in mind when thinking about names. It makes me sad to think of the people out there in the professional world that have to overcome names like Bunny (seriously, I had a computer programming teacher with that name once).
And, actually, now that you mention it, while confusion about my legal and nick names can be frustrating at times, in general I have no issue with my name. It's just when they won't let me through airport security because I forgot to make sure the ticket was in my legal name that it's a drag.
pegasus
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 12:59:58
In reply to Re: Crazy baby name ideas » pegasus, posted by Emme on August 19, 2004, at 17:58:55
Sorry you aren't thrilled with your name Emme. I wonder if there is any way to guarantee that your kid will like the name you give them?
I guess I'm trying to pick things that are not so wacky that it'll become a huge issue. And also, I'm going for names that I find aesthetically pleasing, and that don't have baggage for me personally. Maybe s/he will find a reason not to like the name anyway, but I think I'm doing my best.
pegasus
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:06:21
In reply to Solea » pegasus, posted by fallsfall on August 20, 2004, at 7:31:13
Thanks falls, for working through my name choice! I was thinking of pronouncing it So-Lay-Ah. With emphasis on the second syllable, of course. But if someone pronounced it So-Lee-Ah, I think everyone would still know who they were talking about.
Yeah, I like the feel of the name also. I agree that it sounds peaceful, and also seems to invoke the sun (Soleil?). To me it seems like a very positive name, which is part of what I'm going for.
I wish it were easier to come up with happy, joyful sounding boy names. I picked Leo just because I like the way it sounds, and the association with the constellation. My friends all say, "Is it short for Leonardo?" Which it isn't. Just Leo. Still a bit wishy washy about it.
pegasus
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:07:15
In reply to Solea » pegasus, posted by fallsfall on August 20, 2004, at 7:31:13
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:08:09
In reply to Re: Solea Pegasus, posted by gabbix2 on August 20, 2004, at 19:37:27
Thanks! That's the perfect answer!
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:10:51
In reply to Rules for naming, posted by Ilene on August 20, 2004, at 20:31:43
Thanks for the rules. Solea satisfies them all, but Leo has the wrong number of syllables. I'll think about that one. I love the SS site. What some people think to name their children! I saw in the baby announcements recently a boy named Tequila, and another named Furioso. In a way I like them both, just as words, but I feel for those kids and their future struggles with their names.
pegasus
Posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:16:16
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone for your impressions » pegasus, posted by Dinah on August 21, 2004, at 9:31:50
It's good to hear your thoughts about this. And it's interesting that my husband and I have pretty much the opposite impulse. We have zero interest in connecting to history, for whatever reason. Maybe it's that we want to visualize our new family as being different from our families of origin in so many ways. But I appreciate where you're coming from on that as well.
My husband has an extremely common name as well, which I love, and has never had a problem with it. Although I have to use a nickname when I call to him in public, because he's learned over the years to not respond to his actual name (since everyone is calling it out all the time).
pegasus
Posted by Ilene on August 23, 2004, at 19:58:24
In reply to Re: Rules for naming » Ilene, posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:10:51
> Thanks for the rules. Solea satisfies them all, but Leo has the wrong number of syllables. I'll think about that one. I love the SS site. What some people think to name their children! I saw in the baby announcements recently a boy named Tequila, and another named Furioso. In a way I like them both, just as words, but I feel for those kids and their future struggles with their names.
>
> pegasusI think Furioso might be a real name. Furio is. Wasn't the Italian mobster on the Sopranos named Furio?
I agree with you about Tequila.
Posted by Dinah on August 24, 2004, at 19:06:29
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone for your impressions » Dinah, posted by pegasus on August 23, 2004, at 13:16:16
This is the end of the thread.
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