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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cinderella on August 2, 2004, at 7:38:58
Well...I'm new here. It says for general support so I guess you could support me if you're strong enough. LOL. I only weigh about 106 lbs. I'll take money too if you have it. I'm depressed, tired, and hypochondriacal and that's the GOOD side of me. The bad side is I'm histrionic, narcissistic, dependent and completely a mess. I hate my job which is nursing which I have been doing for 18 years, my 17 year old daughter is a mess and has a tatoo and may not graduate high school because she can't pass math, and I am married to an over-critical, cranky, anti-social verbally abusive husband. (this is husband #2. husband #1 was a slacker, womanizer and alcoholic) Anti-depressants don't help me. They either send shock waves through my body and make me lose more weight or they make me constipated and genderless. My husband and I are competition swing dancers for a hobby but have moved up through the years into the higher levels where there is more pressure. This past weekend I performed one routine with him (we got last place) and 3 other routines with 3 other gentlemen and none of these I did well in either. Today, I am back at work at my regular job feeling exhausted, unsatisfied and unfulfilled. This Wednesday, my daughter and I are going to try to make it to midweek bible study. I'm sorry I missed church yesterday and went to dance competitions instead. The competitions lasted all weekend from Friday evening until 5pm yesterday. I feel really down today. It's a wonder I can hold myself up. I'm 43 and still dancing. Dancing is something I have done since I was 14. I've just never been able to make a living off it and now, my body is getting old. I have degenerative arthritis in my right pelvic bone from having scoliosis that was never discovered. I've been to 3 different specialists who have all treated me conservatively and said there isn't any surgical treatment for this; just phys. therapy, chiropracting an medicine; all of which I do but still there are days that I would like to crawl out of my skin and be somewhere else. I know...whine whine whine. I would never whine like this to people I know and none of you know me so I guess it is safe here. Thank you and God bless for reading this.
Me
Posted by AuntieMel on August 2, 2004, at 16:12:58
In reply to Yah...this says for general support, posted by Cinderella on August 2, 2004, at 7:38:58
It's a good place for "general" support, and specific too at times. Sounds like you've got a lot going on. Got a particular place you'd like to start?
Posted by AuntieMel on August 2, 2004, at 16:13:49
In reply to Yah...this says for general support, posted by Cinderella on August 2, 2004, at 7:38:58
Posted by Poet on August 2, 2004, at 18:06:51
In reply to Yah...this says for general support, posted by Cinderella on August 2, 2004, at 7:38:58
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2004, at 19:51:23
In reply to Yah...this says for general support, posted by Cinderella on August 2, 2004, at 7:38:58
That sounds like such a fun hobby! I've never had the slightest ability to dance so I'm particularly impressed.
Posted by jlynne on August 2, 2004, at 23:28:47
In reply to Re: Hello and welcome » Cinderella, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2004, at 19:51:23
Wow! I envy you to be able to swing . . . you may not believe this, but I was just fantasizing about being able to swing this afternoon on my way home from work (I listen to an ooooldies station in my car and they play the swing bands a lot). My mother recently passed away, and I was picturing her swinging and it made me smile really big:~)
Welcome to babble, Cinder . . .
(((swing)))
...jlynne
Posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 7:46:28
In reply to Re: Hello and welcome, posted by jlynne on August 2, 2004, at 23:28:47
Thank you all for the big welcome. Yah...swinging is cool Jlynn but kept in perspective. When you start competing at the level my husband and I are at, things get a little messy. We've been competing for almost 6 years now and are one step below pro level. Competitions start to feel boring after a while when you hear the same old songs and hear the same old phoney comments from people. Like "oh you did a great job! I love your dancing!" And then you hear them whisper to someone else, "Did you see her anchor step? Looked like a dog peeing!" Stuff like that. You practice hard, you still work a regular 40 hour a week job too and then you dance and sweat your heart out before an audience and those dang judges only to come in last place and lose all the money you spent to enter the contest! It's sort of like gambling only ALOT more effort goes into it. In a way, it's sort of like smoking too: addictive. You do it more and enjoy it less. Weird I know. I look back on some of the pictures of us dancing through the years and they are just one still moment with hours of practice, arguing and foot pain behind them. I know I sound negative but if I weren't, I wouldn't have been looking for this message board. I'm glad no one cares about whining here. You all seem nice.
Thanks
C
Posted by lucy stone on August 3, 2004, at 12:33:20
In reply to Re: Hello and welcome, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 7:46:28
Hi Cinderella,
I also have a 17 year old daughter and know what a pain they can be. Worrying about her HS graduation is no fun. I understand exactly what you mean about the dancing. My daugher is a competitive dancer and is also in the second to hightest level in her dance. We have spent lots and lots of money on her dance, lessons, costumes, travel, ect. She is a beautiful dance but is also getting tired of it. It's just like you describe, the higher you go the harder it is, and it stops being fun and starts being a chore. I know what you mean about the comments, too. The competition can really bring out the worst in people, can't it? I admire you for staying in dance for so long. Can you find somewhere else to put your competitive juices? If you quit competitve dance you might not miss it so much if you could find another way to compete.
> Thank you all for the big welcome. Yah...swinging is cool Jlynn but kept in perspective. When you start competing at the level my husband and I are at, things get a little messy. We've been competing for almost 6 years now and are one step below pro level. Competitions start to feel boring after a while when you hear the same old songs and hear the same old phoney comments from people. Like "oh you did a great job! I love your dancing!" And then you hear them whisper to someone else, "Did you see her anchor step? Looked like a dog peeing!" Stuff like that. You practice hard, you still work a regular 40 hour a week job too and then you dance and sweat your heart out before an audience and those dang judges only to come in last place and lose all the money you spent to enter the contest! It's sort of like gambling only ALOT more effort goes into it. In a way, it's sort of like smoking too: addictive. You do it more and enjoy it less. Weird I know. I look back on some of the pictures of us dancing through the years and they are just one still moment with hours of practice, arguing and foot pain behind them. I know I sound negative but if I weren't, I wouldn't have been looking for this message board. I'm glad no one cares about whining here. You all seem nice.
> Thanks
> C
Posted by AuntieMel on August 3, 2004, at 15:17:33
In reply to Re: Hello and welcome, posted by lucy stone on August 3, 2004, at 12:33:20
Ouch - you guys just picked a scab.
Mine's 19 now, but I remember 17 very well (can being a mom cause PTSD?) I wasn't too worried about her graduating - I was convinced she wouldn't live that long, the number of times I wanted to take her out.
As they say "her picker's broke." She would pick up the strangest ragtag bunch I've ever seen. I guess because she couldn't fix me she felt a need to hang with other people that needed fixing.
And the temper tantrums. There are *still* holes in the walls of her room from her punching it. One of those times required an ER trip. And she'd get extra mad at me 'cause I'd take her keys away when she was in that state. No need to put some stranger's life in danger.
Aaahhhhh. It's all over now. She's 19, just finished the first year of college and greatly calmed down. The jury is still out on the picker.
Anyway - to those in the middle of the 17's - there is hope. And the pain of all the turmoil subsides the first time you hear "I should have listened to you"
Posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:57:34
In reply to Re: Teenage daughters, posted by AuntieMel on August 3, 2004, at 15:17:33
(((Auntie Mel Lucy Stone))) You give me hope! I found a support! There ARE moms in pain out there! I have this friend who lives in Hawaii. She always brags about her daughter who has never given her any grief and is now a sophomore in college in Colorado. This woman lived a wild life when she was a teenager and a young 20 something but says her kids never gave her "payback." Do you think maybe she is lying? She is rich. Her husband is a rock musician and makes BIGGIE MULAH. That helps I guess. Anyhooo....You both have brought hope and encouragement to me. Thanks so much.
C
Posted by AuntieMel on August 3, 2004, at 17:06:08
In reply to Re: Teenage daughters, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:57:34
In my experience, when people say their teenager is no problem, it's because of one of these:
1) Mom is delusional
2) Mom is clueless about what teenager does
3) Mom sends kid off to camp for summers while she tours Europe
4) Parents expectations are low.
5) Kid gets good grades and never gets in trouble. This in it self can be:
a) Kid has no social skills and keeps to herself
b) Kid is desparetely looking for approval, in which case the rebellious stage will kick in later - like when kid is in her 30'sRemember - it's the kids job to test boundaries. It's the parent's job to give them boundaries to test.
Now, to the practical part - what's the math problem. I've been known to tutor math on occasion;)
This is the end of the thread.
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