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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 12:12:24
I happened to witness a crime the night before last. It occurred at about 3am, and I saw it out my window. The cops arrived at the scene pretty soon afterwards, and were looking for "the guy". They were moving around the neighborhood with flashlights, trying to find him hidden somewhere. And I didn't advise that I had seen him, knew what he looked like and what he was wearing, and I saw the direction in which he walked away.
As many of you know, I had the cops arrive at my door many, many, many times over a span of about three months.
I am so paranoid now of the police. Every time I hear someone walking firmly down the apartment complex hallway, I know it's the cops. I feel sick to my stomach and I freak out. Night is the worse. I just know they will be knocking late at night. I am just so paranoid that they will be back, and I hear them in the hallway all the time.
When the crime was committed, I could not call the police. I was so freaked out with seeing the cop cars and the officers and the flashlights. I was shaking and whispering to myself, "Please go away, just go away, please leave, please go away..." I had to close my window so that they weren't so loud. I crawled back under the covers and plugged my ears, shaking and talking to myself. I was so scared of them.
I know this is irrational. I know the cops have no reason to suddenly show up at my door again. But I almost feel traumatized. I can't help what is happening with me. I hear them out there in the hallway....I know I'll be hearing that familiar knock on my door at any moment. I know that they aren't really out there, but.....every noise out there is the cops. I am so freaked out.
I know I should report what I saw, but I can't. I can't be involved with the police again. I am scared to talk with them again, to see them again. I don't want them near me. I don't want to speak with them. I would be shaking and freaking out, and then they'd take me to the hospital again. I don't want them to see me again.
How do I stop thinking that they are walking down my hallway?
Sandy
Posted by partlycloudy on July 15, 2004, at 14:12:48
In reply to I Witnessed A Crime, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 12:12:24
I bet they have an anonymous hotline number. Or go to a phone booth (do they still exist?) and put a sock on the mouthpiece (oh and spray the whole thing with lysol before you touch any of it). I'm sorry, not to make light of this; but certainly people must call the police anonymously.
good luck, sandy.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 14:36:06
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on July 15, 2004, at 14:12:48
I agree with Partlycloudy. Call anonymously and let the police know what you saw. Give them as much info as you can. No need to give your name.
Elle
Posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 14:53:18
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime » partlycloudy, posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 14:36:06
2 parts:
first, we have a "crimestoppers hotline" in our area. it's not directly the police but it's a medium to them. you can choose to be anonymous or not. See if you have something like this in your area. If not i agree with going to a payphone (which i've done even with crimestoppers cuz you know they have caller id) anyway go to a payphone and call police and just give info anonymously-either they want the info or they don't if they insist on personal information then you can just choose to hang up. this way, you tried to help them out, you've done your part and that's all you can do. the rest is in their hands.I think your fear is very valid to you. you have obviously had some frightening episodes regarding law enforcement, some of the intensity may be coming from your wanting to help out but not, because of fear. this causes an inner conflict that intensifies your fear.
once you've at least tried to give the info (done all you can do) then this may help lessen the fear. although you may still have some residual. Have you talked to your T about this? You fear may actually be stemming from something long ago, or something you may not realize. maybe just some authority figure in general.Please know that even if you don't contact any law enforcement that i'm sure you are choosing to do so NOT because you want this "aleged criminal" to get away with anything but you are doing this out of protection for yourself. NEVER apologize for this. You can only do what you can at that moment. You instinctively protect yourself even if you don't know you are doing it at that moment. (something i've recently learned in therapy-that i'm still dealing with). It's a hard lesson to understand, for me anyway. but it's true.
DO NOT be hard on yourself.Please take care (((((Elle)))))
B2c.
Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 15:21:35
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime, posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 14:53:18
Thanks, everyone, for your tips.
Okay, I did it. I went to the website of our police department, and filled out a form under "Your Tips".
I feel sick to my stomach. It doesn't matter if I identify myself or not. It's just the action of actually dealing with the police. They were here way too often because "you know who" kept calling them to ensure I didn't commit suicide.
I don't know if I can ever look at the police again. Jeepers, I grew up with cops because my dad was one. I worked for 4 years with them when I was in my 20's. Now....I feel sick to even think about them.
Now I'm going to be freaking out that they will come knocking because of that report I just sent. I'm just not going to answer the door. I can't. I wouldn't be able to stop shaking.
Thanks for understanding. It's defeating how our brain will play us for a fool.
Sandy
Posted by kellyr. on July 15, 2004, at 15:26:14
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime, posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 14:53:18
I agree w/ the above posts that you should call, If you don't it will eat you up inside not saying anything.
Posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 16:15:57
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 15:21:35
Wow, CONGRATS Sandy!!!!
you should be SOOO proud of yourself! you did it!
and don't you worry about answering or not answering the door, if you feel you can fine, if you can't then Don't!
you need to do what you can.
((((((((((Sandy))))))))))...i'm Really, Really proud of this step you've taken.
you should be TOOO!
b2c.>>Okay, I did it. I went to the website of our police department, and filled out a form under "Your Tips".
Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 19:03:18
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime » SandyWeb, posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 16:15:57
Hey b2c,
Thanks for all the words of praise!! Thanks for even responding to my post!! *smile*
I almost regret having sent that form off to the police website, but it was the correct thing to do. I just hope that nobody follows up on it. I'm not quite ready to deal with our brave boys in blue just yet.
I hope you have a wonderful evening. Thanks for being so supportive!
Sandy
Posted by B2chica on July 16, 2004, at 12:55:12
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime » B2chica, posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 19:03:18
Honey, you deal with What you can, When you can. Noone can ask Anymore of you.(change ask to Expect)
the regret you have is just fear. You are right, you did do the right thing, cuz it was coming from inside you. and if your police are anything like ours, it could be weeks before the paperwork even gets across their desks!
-i did want to ask if you are seeing anyone (professionally of course, that wasn't me hitting on you ;)
but if you are this is a Great thing to discuss with your T.I was recently in a Very similar situation. And it was a topic with my T for a couple weeks, he did help me step through a few fears. I was with someone and did them a favor and she betrayed me by taking me on a wild goose chase that ended up at a Major Drug dealers home (so she could pick up her stash -to sell of course!!) well, i was Finally able to tell my T about this and even though i Knew i needed to turn this information in i was SCARED TO DEATH!! cuz of some past experiences, and this person knew where i lived and such- and not necessarily from her but others involved would have killed or harmed for kicks, let alone cuz of a narc.
Finally i got up the nerve, went to a public payphone and called crimestoppers. this shows what a p@$$y i am but i even wore a disguise to the payphone -Just incase there were cameras!! anyway i told them all the information i had on this dealer and the bigger dealer (however i did not involve the "so called friend's" name.) that just didn't feel right.
maybe i should have, maybe not. but the point was i Finally did what i knew in my gut i had to do. i did my part and the rest was in their hands. And luckily i've since parted with that friend. We just never called one another since that incident. (lucky for me)
-ANYWAY, i just wanted you to know that i Understand a fear, and fighting within yourself of what was the "right" thing to do vs. protecting yourself from an intense fear. You should be more proud, you did yours quickly. it took me two months before i reported mine. But i figured had i turned it in right away, they would have known FOR SURE who did it. I just couldn't risk my husband or my home. and Yes paranoia runs high for me...
and you have a GREAT weekend sweetie, and just enjoy it knowing you've conquered a fear. You Beat IT! don't even think about anything else. just enjoy this. OK?...OK!B2c.
Posted by Shar on July 16, 2004, at 21:46:31
In reply to Re: I Witnessed A Crime » SandyWeb, posted by B2chica on July 16, 2004, at 12:55:12
This is the end of the thread.
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