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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 29, 2004, at 2:22:08
Hi folks,
I just wanted to first thank everyone who cheered me up and supported me while I was taking care of my mom. I am home now, whoopee! My aunts are there until Thursday, but mom is doing so well, I really don't think I will have to go back up to stay. I'll probably have to go 2 or 3 times per week for a few hours to help her bathe, grocery shop, etc., but that's nothing compared to 24/7.Man, I don't know how you mothers do it. I was exhausted! I came home Sunday night and Monday I just slept in very late and was a slug all day.
Mom and I shared some really good laughs. True, I didn't get anything done on work stuff, because I just couldn't concentrate or devote enough time to it, but I think this whole experience was not as bad as I thought.
But...I'm glad it's almost over.
Thanks again!
gg
Posted by fallsfall on June 29, 2004, at 6:56:27
In reply to Mom update, posted by gardenergirl on June 29, 2004, at 2:22:08
A little mother-daughter bonding time. That's nice.
I'm glad it went well for you. I'm glad her operation and recovery have been smooth.
Yeah, being a parent IS exhausting, but (as you can tell) there are certain intangible rewards.
I'm sure that the time and effort that you spent was appreciated by your mom, too.
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 29, 2004, at 7:08:40
In reply to Mom update, posted by gardenergirl on June 29, 2004, at 2:22:08
Now that you're good at the ole sponge both, why doncha come for a visit? I'm gittin' pretty rank...
Em
Posted by Dinah on June 29, 2004, at 7:52:38
In reply to Mom update, posted by gardenergirl on June 29, 2004, at 2:22:08
You made it through and came out intact. :) I'm really glad it wasn't as bad as you feared. And laughing together is such a wonderful experience.
Posted by DaisyM on June 29, 2004, at 16:45:11
In reply to Congratulations! » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on June 29, 2004, at 7:52:38
GG,
Glad things are going so well with your mom. I'm sure you are exhausted. It isn't just the physical part, but worrying really makes you tired. I always feel exhausted after a particularly trying medical episode.
Give yourself some space to recharge. Be kind to yourself and don't push too hard to get back to work. You'll catch up soon enough.
*smiles* for you and mom!
Daisy
Posted by Racer on June 29, 2004, at 18:57:18
In reply to Mom update, posted by gardenergirl on June 29, 2004, at 2:22:08
Isn't it nice to be home? I'm glad you made it through so well -- it *is* hard to take care of anyone that way, but Mom? Just brutal -- not only the caretaking part, but taking care of the caregiver from your childhood? The whole world turns upside down!
Congratulations on your successful conquest of this landscape. And I'm glad you get to be home.
(It just occurred to me: I'm also glad that you could have those laughs together *while* it was still happeneing, instead of having to wait until it was over to look back and laugh together. That is a treasure worth keeping.)
Posted by gardenergirl on June 30, 2004, at 1:43:30
In reply to Re: Mom update » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on June 29, 2004, at 6:56:27
Thanks falls,
It's funny. As time went by, she seemed more appreciative, and I was less irritable. Hmmmmm. Maturity? Growth? Or just coincidence?Thanks for all of your support. It truly was helpful.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 30, 2004, at 1:45:44
In reply to Re: Mom update, posted by TofuEmmy on June 29, 2004, at 7:08:40
Oh my! I think I could tell that from here. I have to admit, I don't help anymore than I have to. That's the former rehab person in me. You have to be as independent as you can be. Now, let's get busy on an assessment of how your bathing skills are going into the toilet. Ohhhh. Maybe that's why???
ewwww. Just kidding.
Hope your knee is getting stronger and less painful.
Take care,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 30, 2004, at 1:46:13
In reply to Congratulations! » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on June 29, 2004, at 7:52:38
Thanks, that means a lot.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 30, 2004, at 1:47:41
In reply to Re: Congratulations!, posted by DaisyM on June 29, 2004, at 16:45:11
Thanks Daisy. I did take a day off when I got back. What a slug I was. And I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow. As well as luch with the girlfriends and a session. Hmm, may be less recharging than I thought. But all will be good, I hope.
Take care. And thanks for your support.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 30, 2004, at 1:50:41
In reply to Jiggity Jig! » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on June 29, 2004, at 18:57:18
Racer,
Heavens, be careful with that jig. Or you and tofuemmy will both be laid up. Yikes! But thanks.Yeah, it was really great to have the laughs with mom at the time. It made it seem more like a special time and opportunity rather than a complete burden. But there was also so much deja vu. Yes, the caregiver roles were switched, but then, they were also switched many times when I was a child.
And of course I still hope in that secret, annoying place that she will learn something from this and change some. (sigh) Hoping is okay, right? Expecting and striving are the more difficult issues?
Thanks for the laughs and the support.
gg
Posted by Racer on June 30, 2004, at 9:58:22
In reply to Re: Jiggity Jig! » Racer, posted by gardenergirl on June 30, 2004, at 1:50:41
You know, as well as hoping, you can borrow my mantra-like self-reminders that I use often with my own mother: if I do not follow the existing steps in the Mother-Daughter Dance, she will have to learn new ones. (Mind you, you already know that my family is descended from a long line of mules and human steamrollers, right? Sometimes it takes tripping over one another a few -- or a few dozen -- times...)
It's OK to hope she'll change, as long as you can still enjoy the laughs you had as they stand, without losing the enjoyment to the wish that it was different, you know? I get into that sometimes: "Oh, that was good -- but it would have been much better *if only*..." (I think that was a song, wasn't it? Maybe Hazel O'Connor? "I won't be the one to resign to 'if only'..." Good song, as I recall. Now to find it on CD, huh?)
Now, c'mon! Get those dancing shoes on! (Join me... You will be assimilated into the dance... Resistance is futile...)
Posted by gardenergirl on July 1, 2004, at 23:51:01
In reply to Mantras for Mom » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on June 30, 2004, at 9:58:22
> You know, as well as hoping, you can borrow my mantra-like self-reminders that I use often with my own mother: if I do not follow the existing steps in the Mother-Daughter Dance, she will have to learn new ones. (Mind you, you already know that my family is descended from a long line of mules and human steamrollers, right? Sometimes it takes tripping over one another a few -- or a few dozen -- times...)
>
> It's OK to hope she'll change, as long as you can still enjoy the laughs you had as they stand, without losing the enjoyment to the wish that it was different, you know? I get into that sometimes: "Oh, that was good -- but it would have been much better *if only*..." (I think that was a song, wasn't it? Maybe Hazel O'Connor? "I won't be the one to resign to 'if only'..." Good song, as I recall. Now to find it on CD, huh?)
>
> Now, c'mon! Get those dancing shoes on! (Join me... You will be assimilated into the dance... Resistance is futile...)Thanks for making me laugh several times in one post! And for the advice. It's very relevant (she says as she contemplates driving an hour one way on Saturday to help her mother put on her darned compression stockings).
You know, I gave my mom the book "We are our Mother's Daughters" by Cokie Roberts a few years ago for her birthday. I think it was the year her mother died. I was feeling very nostalgic and pro-family at the time. Anyway, now that I have been in therapy, it's got a whole new meaning. I should add it to the stack on the bookshelf in the bedroom. (My nightstand became too small for all of the books I have yet to finish or haven't started yet. Had to put in a bookcase instead!!)
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