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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:06:42
I'd really like to do something nice for someone who does so many nice things for me. He's given me a card, flowers and other small surprises in the last few months. What on earth can I do to show my appreciation and fondness for him?
One of you has to have a great idea that I can borrow...
(I would love to have him over for a nice romantic dinner but he's amazing in the kitchen and I can't cook to save my life.)
Posted by partlycloudy on June 4, 2004, at 10:24:44
In reply to Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys?, posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:06:42
If he's amazing in the kitchen how about a gourmet ingredient - like really good saffron, or maybe a gadget? Even people with great cooking skills like new toys :)
Posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:27:55
In reply to Re: Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys? » Wildflower, posted by partlycloudy on June 4, 2004, at 10:24:44
Great idea but he just got divorced and has no desire to keep any of the current kitchen gadgets. Any other ideas?
> If he's amazing in the kitchen how about a gourmet ingredient - like really good saffron, or maybe a gadget? Even people with great cooking skills like new toys :)
Posted by octopusprime on June 4, 2004, at 10:32:29
In reply to Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys?, posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:06:42
wildflower, it depends on the guy :)
and your angle is not strictly platonic here, eh?
i would suggest any of the following, so you may work your angle:
1. gift certificate to nice restaurant
2. tickets to an event that he'd like to attend (concert, play)
3. movie passesall these scream "take me with you!!!" :)
anything homemade is always welcome. if you knit or sew or paint or play music or ??? you could give him something handmade
or you could go to a sandwich shop/fancy urban grocery and buy supplies for a picnic
if he is a drinker wine is generally welcome
i think partly cloudy is on the right track with kitchen supplies - i would go further to suggest fancy oils/vinegars (a little truffle oil or something is always welcome, it would have to be something he wouldn't ordinarily buy for himself)
good luck! (almost typed good lick there :D)
Posted by All Done on June 4, 2004, at 11:37:09
In reply to Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys?, posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:06:42
I like octo's ideas about making it something you can enjoy with him. Does he like sports? Maybe a baseball game would be fun.
Or, if you're looking for something on a smaller scale, can you bake? I like to bake, but I can't make a great dinner to save my life. Cookies would be a nice thing and they can be fairly easy to make. It might show him that you're really making a nice effort since he is a whiz in the kitchen.
Good luck and let us know what you end up doing. How nice of you! :)
Laurie
Posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 11:46:24
In reply to Re: Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys? » Wildflower, posted by octopusprime on June 4, 2004, at 10:32:29
The two best-received presents I ever gave a man were not typical 'guy' presents:
1. I booked a spa package, rented a luxury car, and took a friend to a fabulous resort out in the wilds of northern California. Same sort of thing I'd have given a woman friend who was stressed out. I did it because I wanted to give him something special, and couldn't think of what a guy would like, but he *LOVED* it. Really loved it. Seaweed wrap/mud wrap, massage, every service I could afford (and more -- my mom liked this guy, so she chipped in, too.) You could consider something along those lines.
2. Bubble bath, a rubber ducky, a shaving mug with special shaving soap and a shaving brush, and one of those poofy bath spongy things. Again, he loved it. He was a single parent, and he would lock himself into the bathroom for a soak in the tub when the kids were in bed. He hated shaving, so the mug/brush/special soap made it a little more bearable for him.
Number three, and the reason my husband married me, probably won't do you any good, though! (Shortly after we met, I gave him a little jar of Vegemite. NOT recommended for anyone from a civilized country -- which is defined as a country where Vegemite is considered edible.)
Hope that helps give you some other ideas. If you knit, you already know about The Curse Of The Love Sweater, but the Friendship Scarf is a whole 'nother animal. Homemade is sometimes a crapshoot, but something decorative for his house might be nice -- IF you can be sure it's not the sort of thing his ex-wife would have chosen.
Good luck, and do let us know what you decide on.
Posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 12:00:32
In reply to Depends on the guy, but..., posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 11:46:24
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 4, 2004, at 12:48:41
In reply to Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys?, posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:06:42
Gift certificate to Sharper Image or some gadget store like that
Posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 13:06:45
In reply to What's Vegemite? (nm) » Racer, posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 12:00:32
Vegemite is a spread made from yeast extract -- I think, as I understand it, it's basically the leftovers from making beer. Very high in B vitamins, but it really is awful stuff. In some places, though, people eat it voluntarily and claim to like the stuff. (And they say *we're* impaired! Ha!)
OK, more seriously, in Australia, where resources are a bit scarcer historically, Vegemite is a great way to maximize nutrition and not waste anything. England has Marmite, which my husband claims is a terrible thing -- unlike delightful Vegemite -- but he does admit that it's a joke about the English version being subpar. In Australia, of course, there's a tradition of eating the stuff, so kids grow up eating it pretty regularly. It's very salty, and a lot of people find it pretty nasty stuff.
But, again, Aussies like it. And someone in England must, too, or Marmite wouldn't exist.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 4, 2004, at 13:10:34
In reply to Vegemite?, posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 13:06:45
I'm from Texas. Is that supposed to be civilized.
But I love Marmite. I keep a jar in my drawer at work and occasionally just have a spoonful.
My aunt is from England, so she always had it around. I learned to love it as a kid. I think that if you wait until you're an adult, it's too late. Can't get it past the nose.
Posted by NikkiT2 on June 4, 2004, at 13:16:41
In reply to Vegemite?, posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 13:06:45
or something like that.. Marmite came WAY before vegemite!! And vegemite is foul *giggles* marmite is the KING!! Vegemite is kinda sweeter than marmite (though Kiwi Marmite is sweeter than UK marmite! *l*) and I really don't like it! *l* But I've been eating marmite since I was a baby.. and I even take a jar on holiday with me *lol*
Its very good for you.. but certainly an aquired taste *nods* A forced an American friend to eat it, and he wanted to know why his mouth was burning *l* Thats half the fun!!!
I love the shaving / bathing gift box idea.. and the spa one! I took hubby (very male and rough around the edges!) for a facial and pedicure while we were away and he adored it!!
Nikki xx
Posted by spoc on June 4, 2004, at 21:37:54
In reply to Re: Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys? » Wildflower, posted by All Done on June 4, 2004, at 11:37:09
Wellllll, this one doesn't take into account the admitted wisdom of the suggestions likely to result in sharing an activity. But I like to send those cookie baskets anytime you might otherwise send flowers. They deliver wherever you tell them to, just like with flowers, so it can be a nice (or playfully embarrassing) surprise. Here's one company, but I think there are others:
http://cookiesbydesign.com/catalog_thankyou.cfm?cob=lmCatThkY
These are actually huge individual cookies on tall sticks, about as high as a bouquet. I have sometimes had them mix and match individual cookies I liked the looks of, and imprint different messages on them.
Or how about burning a special CD -- wasn't receiving a "mixed tape" always a touching thing?
Do you have (or could you get for a few hours) any photos of him? I made a cool-looking "lite" gift for a guy once... I had only a few random, routine photos, so I cut us out individually and placed us on all kinds of exotic backgrounds. I got the perspectives so right that once framed, it looked very realistic -- yet very comical. That might be fun if he or both of you share the dream of a certain destination or activity. Note that if you can your hands on any photos, you can have copies made from the photo itself so you don't ruin anything.
(Then for this guy's "cake," I stuck a bunch of candles right into a cake mix box and wrote on it with frosting. Same guy whose rear bumper I taped the most embarrassing bumper stickers I could find to, and let him drive around getting funny looks all day until he caught it. Yes, these things made him love me! :)
Anyway, any parameters, if you're still looking? I'll be curious to hear what you decide! :- )
Posted by karen_kay on June 5, 2004, at 4:42:06
In reply to Re: Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys?, posted by spoc on June 4, 2004, at 21:37:54
Do you have (or could you get for a few hours) any photos of him? I made a cool-looking "lite" gift for a guy once... I had only a few random, routine photos, so I cut us out individually and placed us on all kinds of exotic backgrounds. I got the perspectives so right that once framed, it looked very realistic -- yet very comical. That might be fun if he or both of you share the dream of a certain destination or activity. Note that if you can your hands on any photos, you can have copies made from the photo itself so you don't ruin anything.
**i did that for my friend once, you idea stealer! she wsa going to have surgery (out-patient and on her arse of all places) so i made a before and after card. it included a picture of her (her head, playboy model's body....and the pic of her head was much larger than the shot of the model), myself, my old man (this one i got very interesting with and put his head on kevin spacey's body), even my dog with a human body.
mine didn't look realistic in the slightest, but it was very fun to do and she loved it.
Posted by spoc on June 5, 2004, at 11:23:47
In reply to hey! » spoc, posted by karen_kay on June 5, 2004, at 4:42:06
> Do you have (or could you get for a few hours) any photos of him? I made a cool-looking "lite" gift for a guy once... I had only a few random, routine photos, so I cut us out individually and placed us on all kinds of exotic backgrounds... >
> **i did that for my friend once, you idea stealer! ...it was very fun to do and she loved it.
<<<<< Another favorite along those lines from earlier days was tearing out large photos of the person's favorite (or most loathed) celebrities or leaders from magazines; and "autographing" them with things like impassioned gratitude for something or pleas for forgiveness or guidance; then framing them. Yeah, el cheapo but funny... At least at the time...
When I am uncertain or new to a possible "connection" and don't want to make the first blatant call on what is or might be developing, I prefer to play jokes on the person and be a good kinda pain in the arse. As you might say -- a muse! Even down the road, I've never been a "rose petals in your shoes" kind of chick! I'm more likely to put pebbles or sardines in there! :- )
But I make sure the victim is willing, and do have my soft side for sure. I just have it all, don't I? I'm sure everyone has noticed that, ha ha ha!
Happy Saturday, you braless, chain smoking, booze-bottle-pile languishing, daisy-in-the-hair, fire-nonrespecting, guitar-abusing, freelovin' commune dweller you! Tie dye some tee shirts for me, will you? That could be your contribution, a home business making tie dye wear and beaded necklaces. Groovy! Don't forget to bring some corn to plant in the garden so it will feel like home.
Peace. ;- )
Posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 12:19:42
In reply to Vegemite?, posted by Racer on June 4, 2004, at 13:06:45
Thank God I will never be forced to try that in order to maintain my honor. MAOI's and all...
gg
Posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 13:48:22
In reply to Re: Vegemite? » Racer, posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 12:19:42
A number of years ago, I spent a month in Melbourne with my ex-bf and his kids. He was working on the big casino there, and took us along with him. Since Vegemite is the "classic" Aussie treat, I figured we had to try it.
Now, his kids were 11 and 13 at the time, and the 13 year old was my "SonShine", since he wasn't my son. We were very close until this current depression hit me so hard I didn't want to distress him by letting him see what I was going through. Anyway, back to Vegemite:
We bought a little jar of the stuff. We brought it home to our little apartment. We put some on crackers. (The 11 year old wasn't willing to try it.) SonShine and I held hands -- we'd seen the stuff, after all -- and popped the crackers into our mouths at the same time. I managed to swallow mine, but he spit his out. It created a bond that stands to this day.
(A few years later, he stopped by my place one evening when I had a few people over for dinner, including the man I was then dating. SonShine hung out for a while -- got along great with The New Guy -- but definitely sent out that "I was here FIRST" message to TNG! "Hey, Racer, remember when we tried Vegemite together?")
My hubby says that he didn't like Vegemite when he was a kid, but he does like it now -- much of the time. He goes through phases of wanting it and not wanting it. And I've tasted it since, and it's not nearly so bad when you know to eat only a very little bit.
Guess there are some benefits to MAOIs, though, huh?
Posted by karen_kay on June 5, 2004, at 15:26:25
In reply to Re: hey yerself! » karen_kay, posted by spoc on June 5, 2004, at 11:23:47
now, you said: you braless, chain smoking, booze-bottle-pile languishing, daisy-in-the-hair, fire-nonrespecting, guitar-abusing, freelovin' commune dweller you! Tie dye some tee shirts for me, will you? That could be your contribution, a home business making tie dye wear and beaded necklaces.
**please allow me to correct you, if you don't mind...
braless.... hello? i have no boobs. did you forget that? i haven't been braless since i've been in diapers. and a nice bra gives the illusion that i do have boobs. i'm lazy, not stupid.
booze-bottle-pile languishing: what does that mean? if you are assuming i drink often, then you are correct. but, if you are assuming i save the bottles, you are dead wrong. i am not sure i know precisely what you mean by this one, but still felt the need to comment.
daisy-in-the-hair: ha! if i were to put a flower in my hair, it would be lost forever! did you forget that i rarely brush or wash my hair? on the rare occassions that i do wash it, i still find no need to brush it. now, that doesn't mean i have dreads. it just means i prefer to finger comb my hair. plus, guys go wild for the "bed head" look.
fire-nonrespecting: i respect fire. i respect it so much that i often find myself caught on fire. like, from lighting a smoke off the stove (not suggested if you use hair products with high contents of alcohol in them).
guitar-abusing: i don't abuse animals (i don't consider men to be animals at this point, so i'm safe in saying i don't abuse animals), children, myself, or guitars. guitar players? perhaps. guitars, no! you make one drunkin mistake and people never let you live it down. sheesh! like you've never used inappropriate objects as fire wood when it was in short supply.
freelovin' commune dweller: hmmmm. i'll have to think aobut this one. while i'm not opposed to free love (of course that free part would have to include diamonds and rubies), i wouldn't dare say i'm ready just yet to follow my friends to a rainbow gathering or go live in the woods to get in touch with nature. again, there's nothing wrong with sex, unless you have high expectations or a preconceived notion of something more happening (like gifts or marriage). free love =good. expectations =bad.
about the tie dyed tee shirt thing you said: ha! i've never owned (or tried to make) a tie dye t-shirt. never! (not that there's anything wrong with that) i couldn't make one to save my life, nor do i have a desire to. just because i'm not opposed to living in a community where i can get by with doing very little, doesn't mean i am good at bead work.
now spoc, you can't honestly say you're not considering the idea of moving to vermont, can you? we could share a bed you know!
Posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 16:24:29
In reply to none of your free-love, hippie crap here... » spoc, posted by karen_kay on June 5, 2004, at 15:26:25
Why can't we all just get along?
Come, let's all hold hands and sing "Kumbaya"
Seriously, Karen dear, you can't come and live with me. Your attitude regarding tie dye is so reactionary. Come, try it, resistance is futile, you *will* be assimilated.
(OK, I don't "tie dye" as such, but I do do a lot of dyeing. Even if I don't actually like the results all that much, I still like knowing that I produced them. And I do get compliments on a lot of the clothes I've made and dyed, so I guess the results aren't that bad. In fact, referring to the 'comments on appearance in therapy' thread, our marriage counselor was complimenting me on a top I'd made the other day when my husband mentioned that I'd dyed it, as well as sewing it. That's when she went from, "Wow, that's great!" to "You're kidding? You DYED that, too? That's AMAZING!" Felt kinda nice, even though I didn't actually like the results all that much.)
So, maybe I'll change my mind about you coming to live with me, Karen, but you still can't set yourself on fire in my kitchen. 'K?
Posted by spoc on June 5, 2004, at 23:48:02
In reply to none of your free-love, hippie crap here... » spoc, posted by karen_kay on June 5, 2004, at 15:26:25
(Now I have you confused again don't I, you think I'm in the UK. But I DID learn my forward and unabashed behavior from you, and I'll have you know the first poster I tried it out on at even mild strength was so terrified that he held up his wife and baby to me, convinced I was going to come out of the message board [kind of like that girl in The Ring I suppose] and threaten his marriage. Thanks for the pointers, teach! You didn't warn me how powerful your Method can be. And watch yourself -- I really CAN come out of the message board at people if I feel like it.)
> booze-bottle-pile languishing: what does that mean? if you are assuming i drink often, then you are correct. but, if you are assuming i save the bottles, you are dead wrong. i am not sure i know precisely what you mean by this one, but still felt the need to comment. >
<<<<< What this means is, laying passed out on the floor in the midst of your empty bottles, which would be the part in between the drinking from them and throwing them out. I do believe I saw a lovely characterization of the potential for that in Vermont...
>... on the rare occassions that i do wash it, i still find no need to brush it. now, that doesn't mean i have dreads. it just means i prefer to finger comb my hair. plus, guys go wild for the "bed head" look. >
<<<<< Ya know it's funny, a friend of mine who is like a Weeble in her insistence on going out no matter what (wobbles but she won't fall down) found the above to be true when she had a herniated disk. For the months before she ended up having surgery, she would still somehow go out partying, but couldn't do some things like blow dry her hair straight which took forever. So she started letting it go wild, and allowed it to grow long. And wow, the boys did indeed go wild for that look. Poor thing, stuck there with her reduced ability to fight them off! ;- )
>... again, there's nothing wrong with sex, unless you have high expectations or a preconceived notion of something more happening (like gifts or marriage). free love =good. expectations =bad. >
<<<<<< Ok, who IS that talking? This is not our Karen Kay. Is Scott brainwashing the bold and unapologetic demandingness out of you?? I could SWEAR I've seen at least one or two marriage proposals from you to posters here, and gifts??? Need I even comment on that one?? Oh, I get it, you're gonna start trying Reverse Psychology now to get KK what KK wants!
> now spoc, you can't honestly say you're not considering the idea of moving to vermont, can you? we could share a bed you know!<<<<<< The scary thing is, I *can't* honestly say I'm not considering it. Vermont being in a region I've never visited, and maybe having read too many charming books and seen too many charming movies, the farmhouse thing is really calling to me. And the idea of gardening and physical work instead of continuing to think I must find a way to flow with corporate America (beyond enjoying some of its great COCKTAIL parties) has some appeal. But I do wonder about a few things.
If there is no spark between Scott and me, or any of you and me (which would of course be me finding you all unsatisfactory, never the reverse), will I still be accepted and valued as highly as any other member as long as I Contribute to the collective chores? Or will I just be seen as not making full use of my takage-uppage of space? And I'm not quite sure he and I are on the same page about what constitutes a reasonable Contribution. I don't like to be looked at funny when I am splendoring and sprawling in laziness, which I like to pencil in not infrequently. Or, which tends to happen not infrequently, penciled in or not.
And, will I be treated like a stick-in-the-mud party poop if I feel bloated and don't want to frolick naked sometimes? Will I be treated like a second-class citizen if I just serve you guys your libations, stoke the fire, and keep the music going on those occasions instead? Will you put your cigarettes out in my beans 'n franks, hang your clothes on my head, and start ordering me to do things like go pick up your dry cleaning? Will you laugh at me and use my belongings for firewood?
If I do frolick naked, can I leave my bra or bikini top on at all times? Is that ever seen as a good or acceptable look, like wearing only bottoms can be? Or is it somehow goofy and awkward instead? And most importantly, what's up in the nearest town, when I need to go get away from you fools for awhile? Is there a subway or taxi I can take back to the farmhouse at 4:00 AM?
Yes Karen, I am considering moving to Vermont, and am thinking about starting to pack my bags. But that sharing a bed with you part -- I'm still working on changing my definition of what's enticing to cuddle up with to include kicking, drooling and snoring. And will I need to get a series of shots before I leave?
And hey -- did that girl in The Ring in fact creep you out when she'd start climbing out of the well and coming through the screen? Did me, big time. But that's the kind of movie creeps I enjoy. Good stuff. Like the *original* Nightmare on Elm Street. Can we rent movies like that in Vermont, once our chores are done? Or does it have to be all-porn, all the time? Is the farmhouse haunted maybe, that might be fun.
Or maybe I have to find a New England poster commune for that. Ya know when I was in grade school and used to read those books that swore a haunting really happened somewhere, I used to plan to go find that house and live there awhile to verify it. What does that say about me? Are people like that allowed in Vermont? Will you be afraid to go to sleep at night with me around?
Posted by Deb R on June 7, 2004, at 7:53:28
In reply to The first time I tried Vegemite » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 13:48:22
Hi Racer
Am so impressed you have tried Vegemite - we Aussie kids are raised on the stuff, thats for sure. My favourite sandwich is vegemite, cheese and tomato! The trick is not to have too much like you said, my husband smothers his toast with it!
Love,
Deb.
Posted by DaisyM on June 8, 2004, at 22:41:47
In reply to Creative and thoughtful gift ideas for guys?, posted by Wildflower on June 4, 2004, at 10:06:42
I love finding the right gift for someone:
I bought my husband his favorite player's rookie card on the Red Sox.
I've done "movie night in a bag" -- DVD + micropopcorn + raisonettes. (and beer...)
I bought very cool slippers for him.
I got my son carwash gift-certificates which he loved.
Someone recently gave me a book to make cordials and some neat glass bottles from Cost Plus and the ingredients. I loved it!
My staff gave me a big box of crayons and two very stylish coloring books at our retreat. Now that was a welcomed gift.
And I gave my Therapist a beautifully decorated, but very masculine journal.
Let us know what you end up doing!
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