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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fraulein1456 on May 22, 2004, at 13:53:01
Hi everyone,
I recently interviewed for a job and found out on Thursday that I didn't get it. I'm very sad and depressed. You see, I have been unemployed for one year. I was fired from my last job and I can't forgive myself for letting that happen. Even a year later I rethink that terrible time over and over again. I just can't seem to get past it. I had such high hopes for this new job opportunity. I'm really sad and worried about my future. How will I take care of myself if I can't get a job. My money is running out. Worried, sad, depressed and just looking for a supportive word.
Fraulein
Posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 16:41:07
In reply to Can't forgive myself, posted by fraulein1456 on May 22, 2004, at 13:53:01
Hi Fraulein,
I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad about what happened last year, and about this job. What exactly happened, if you don't mind me asking? It sounds like you would try really hard for that same thing to not happen again, so that's all you can do right now, right? And that's a lot. You can't make it not have happened in the past. But you might be able to move forward in a positive way. I hope that that is possible for you. If so, then I'm sure you'll be able to find another job. A lot of people have been out of work recently. But jobs seem to be getting more available. I hope that is true for you as well. I'm sending positive wishes your way.
pegasus
Posted by fraulein1456 on May 22, 2004, at 17:34:31
In reply to Re: Can't forgive myself, posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 16:41:07
Thanks pegasus.
I was fired for not getting to work on time. I saw it coming but didn't care. It was like sitting on the train tracks watching a train coming at me and not caring. I didn't care about me. I didn't care about the job. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I've always been a good employee. So that's what happened. I'm stuck here feeling really lousy about myself just hoping that someone will give me another chance. I'm on meds but not in therapy because I'm trying to save money. Thanks for listening.
Fraulein
Posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:52:34
In reply to Re: Can't forgive myself » pegasus, posted by fraulein1456 on May 22, 2004, at 17:34:31
It sounds like you were depressed back then. At least, apathy like you describe is a very common symptom of depression. And if you were depressed, it's not a failing of yours that you couldn't care about making it to the job on time. It's part of the disorder. We tend to think that mental issues are all a matter of will, but they're often not. I mean, you can't will yourself into having the will to make it to work on time, right? I've tried it, and I'm here to tell you that sometimes it's just impossible.
I've been there lots of times in my life. There are times where I just don't care whether I eat, or sleep, or go to work, or talk to friends, or live or die. At those times, I can't do much for myself. They're not easy times. But I've learned to give myself a break about them. On those really bad days, I can now say to myself, ok, well, this is going to be a bad day, and I'm going to do a few things (like call in sick, or rearrange my schedule) that help me not have to accomplish much. It wasn't easy to learn to do these things, and it's not easy to do them, now that I've learned. But I still think it's progress for me.
I've found therapy to be hugely helpful in coping with this type of thing. Is there any type of county agency that you could go to, or other type of inexpensive therapy? For example, lots of therapists have sliding scales. It sounds like it might really help you. If there is any type of crisis hotline or mental health agency in your area, they might be able to give you some referals.
In the meantime, hang in there. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about yourself. If it helps at all, what you did doesn't sound so bad to me. I mean, I understand how it's frustrating to look back and see previous behavior that led to problems. But we all do it sometimes. I hope you can eventually start to think about looking forward more than looking back.
pegasus
Posted by deirdrehbrt on May 23, 2004, at 20:55:49
In reply to Re: Can't forgive myself, posted by pegasus on May 22, 2004, at 17:52:34
Fraulein,
I'm sorry things are going so bad. I haven't worked in about two years, and I'm really hoping to get back in school. I can't go back to the kind of work that I used to do, and in talking with my therapist I'm hoping to work in a new career.
I really understand the part about not getting to work on time. I remember times when my alarm would go off and I would keep hitting the snooze button. I would look at it and say "I've got a few more minutes". After a few more minutes, I had no time.
I suppose I was fortunate. I was in the Air Force and had an understanding boss.You might want to talk to HR at your last job and see if they can place an addendum to your file. You could talk to your supervisor and explain your illness and see if he might change the answer he gives when a potential employer calls. What your former employer says isn't necessarily etched in stone.
One failure doesn't portend future failures. I'm certain that you will get there. You also have the option of seeking SSDI. If your T, or psychiatrist deems you disabled, you might get it retroactive to the time you lost your job. This could also give you the money to help you find something else.
I really hope that you find something to help you out. I'm wishing you luck, and I'll do some cheerleading for you.
Dee.
This is the end of the thread.
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