Psycho-Babble Social Thread 349202

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Two guys walk into a bar......

Posted by Bobby on May 21, 2004, at 10:33:49

you'd think the second one would have ducked.

 

doctors' meeting

Posted by karen_kay on May 21, 2004, at 10:42:31

In reply to Two guys walk into a bar......, posted by Bobby on May 21, 2004, at 10:33:49

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.

Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."

The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."

 

Re: Two guys walk into a bar......

Posted by finelinebob on May 21, 2004, at 12:32:34

In reply to Two guys walk into a bar......, posted by Bobby on May 21, 2004, at 10:33:49

The thing is, the second guy grew up with parents who were always nagging "If your friends jumped off of a cliff, I suppose you would, too" and he learned early to do anything to spite them. Now, he just can't help himself: he's compelled not to duck. It'll take a lot of work and a long time, but with a good therapist and the right medication one day that second guy will be able to duck.

You have to have hope.

;^)
flb

 

How many pdocs...

Posted by Scott in Vermont on May 21, 2004, at 12:46:44

In reply to Two guys walk into a bar......, posted by Bobby on May 21, 2004, at 10:33:49

...does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

 

Re: How many pdocs...

Posted by finelinebob on May 21, 2004, at 13:18:34

In reply to How many pdocs..., posted by Scott in Vermont on May 21, 2004, at 12:46:44

> ...does it take to change a lightbulb?
>
> Only one, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.


or:

Only one, but it takes a long long time and costs a lot of money and the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

;^)
flb

 

There were these three doctors...

Posted by finelinebob on May 21, 2004, at 13:25:31

In reply to How many pdocs..., posted by Scott in Vermont on May 21, 2004, at 12:46:44

... who died in a horrific car crash on the way out to the golf course one afternoon. So, they get up to the Pearly Gates and are about to stroll right through when St. Peter jumps up and says "Wait a second! What makes you think you DESERVE to get in here?"

He points at the first doctor, who says "Well, I invented the artificial hip. Now, all sorts of people who can't walk because of a bad hip can have an operation and then they can walk again!"

St. Pete says, "Hmmm ... that's very good! You're in! Next...." and he points at the second doctor. This doctor says "I invented the artificial heart! Now, people whose hearts fail can be kept alive so that they can have a transplant and go on to lead a longer, happy life."

St. Pete is even more impressed, and ushers the second doctor in. Then he turns to the third doctor, who says, "Well now, I was the CEO of the largest HMO in the United States!"

St. Peter looks at him and says, "That is JUST wonderful!"





"You can stay three weeks."

 

Re: There were these three doctors...

Posted by Ilene on May 23, 2004, at 6:50:35

In reply to There were these three doctors..., posted by finelinebob on May 21, 2004, at 13:25:31

> St. Pete is even more impressed, and ushers the second doctor in. Then he turns to the third doctor, who says, "Well now, I was the CEO of the largest HMO in the United States!"
>
> St. Peter looks at him and says, "That is JUST wonderful!"
>
>
>
>
>
> "You can stay three weeks."


Three weeks? Three days is more like it.


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