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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on May 15, 2004, at 9:49:46
i've been looking for a job. i may be part of housekeeping in a hotel. you know, the girl who knocks on your hotel room door at 6 am and says, 'housekeeping mr. jones' and i have to clean up your underpants and other things i'd probably rather not clean up. yeah, that might be me, so try to keep it in mind the next time you stay at a hotel.
i'm also looking for a job at a gas station. that makes me the girl who has to show you how to work a gas pump while using your credit card. (oh yes, it's happened to even me before, so i'll be gentle) i'll be the girl behind the counter who you complain to about the price of gas (like i'm not complaining myself). i'll be the girl who sells you condoms at 1 am because you'd rather people at walgreens not know you are having sex.
pick 3: i'm also going through a temporary service for clerical work (oh dear! me, filing and typing? can you imagine?) so, i'll be the girl you complain about because i really don't do much. and i'll be standing around talking to everyone hoping the boss answers the phone rather than me. but, i'll bring donuts and i'll always make coffee (although i'll drink more than my fair share).
pick 4: the video store. yes, i'll know that you rent 'those' movies on saturday night. i'll tell you, 'oh, that movie isn't very good but you should try this one instead.' and perhaps you'll try my pick and return it only to say, 'you have no taste. this film was horrible.' and no one will ever trust my taste in movies again (as if they ever did).
i absolutely hate looking for a job. the guy at the temp service asked how much i would work for, what would make it worth him calling me about an offer. i said, 'minimum wage is good' he just looked at me oddly. i don't even know what minimum wage is currently, nor do i mind settling for it. i just need a job so my old man will get off my back. i need a job so i can buy my own girlie things. i need a job to stay busy this summer (even though it would be great to visit my friends who i've neglected the last few years i've been with my old man).
a pony would be nice right now, except i'd forget to feed it in a few months and have to give it up. but i think i'd name it john, or murphey, or mckinley. and if i had a pony, then i could ride it to the grocery or the gas station. and if i had a pony, i would play catch with it or frisbee. i have a dog who is almost as big as a pony, but he won't let me saddle and ride him. that's not fair!
or, if i had a rich husband i could be in fiji right now, not bothering with the job search. i could be swimming in the water instead of begging for work. i could be drinking somewhere tropical instead of drinking near a cornfield.
so, does anyone have a rich husband they are willing to loan out just for the summer? or is anyone rich enough to send me somewhere tropical? we'd have fun, i promise! or at least, does anyone have a pony i could borrow? a pony would be almost as fun as a rich husband. i'm not picky really, i mean i am willing to settle for minimum wage. i'd take a deaf pony.
calgon, take me away!
Posted by ghost on May 15, 2004, at 11:57:33
In reply to i want a pony (or a rich husband), posted by karen_kay on May 15, 2004, at 9:49:46
> i've been looking for a job. i may be part of housekeeping in a hotel. you know, the girl who knocks on your hotel room door at 6 am and says, 'housekeeping mr. jones' and i have to clean up your underpants and other things i'd probably rather not clean up. yeah, that might be me, so try to keep it in mind the next time you stay at a hotel.
i always think of the people who have to deal with my underpants and never leave them out where you'd have to touch them. but please don't be mad when i tuck away the free soaps and shampoos into my toiletries bag hoping you'll leave more for me the next day. i sure do love those travel sized packages.
> i'm also looking for a job at a gas station. that makes me the girl who has to show you how to work a gas pump while using your credit card. (oh yes, it's happened to even me before, so i'll be gentle) i'll be the girl behind the counter who you complain to about the price of gas (like i'm not complaining myself). i'll be the girl who sells you condoms at 1 am because you'd rather people at walgreens not know you are having sex.
maybe you'll become the girl i have a crush on at the gas station on 13th and D, too shy to go in because i limp with a cane because of a broken bone in my foot, and once ballsy enough to go in there in my mickey mouse jammies because i had a chocolate craving. i'd never buy condoms from you because i'd want you to think i was single, just in case you happened to like girls, too.
> pick 3: i'm also going through a temporary service for clerical work (oh dear! me, filing and typing? can you imagine?) so, i'll be the girl you complain about because i really don't do much. and i'll be standing around talking to everyone hoping the boss answers the phone rather than me. but, i'll bring donuts and i'll always make coffee (although i'll drink more than my fair share).
on a serious note, i've always had good luck with temp agencies. they don't expect too much of you, you get paid better than if you were a real employee, and people think you're cute cuz you don't know anything yet. (your mileage may vary, of course.)
> pick 4: the video store. yes, i'll know that you rent 'those' movies on saturday night. i'll tell you, 'oh, that movie isn't very good but you should try this one instead.' and perhaps you'll try my pick and return it only to say, 'you have no taste. this film was horrible.' and no one will ever trust my taste in movies again (as if they ever did).
i highly recommend the following site: http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/tpcs.html
> i absolutely hate looking for a job. the guy at the temp service asked how much i would work for, what would make it worth him calling me about an offer. i said, 'minimum wage is good' he just looked at me oddly. i don't even know what minimum wage is currently, nor do i mind settling for it. i just need a job so my old man will get off my back. i need a job so i can buy my own girlie things. i need a job to stay busy this summer (even though it would be great to visit my friends who i've neglected the last few years i've been with my old man).
i hate looking for a job, too. I've been looking for almost 6 months now.
> a pony would be nice right now, except i'd forget to feed it in a few months and have to give it up. but i think i'd name it john, or murphey, or mckinley. and if i had a pony, then i could ride it to the grocery or the gas station. and if i had a pony, i would play catch with it or frisbee. i have a dog who is almost as big as a pony, but he won't let me saddle and ride him. that's not fair!
i'm about to bring my rat back to the no-kill shelter he came from because i never remember to feed him or change his shavings. :/ i'll probably do it on monday.
> or, if i had a rich husband i could be in fiji right now, not bothering with the job search. i could be swimming in the water instead of begging for work. i could be drinking somewhere tropical instead of drinking near a cornfield.
we've probably drunk near the same cornfields...
> so, does anyone have a rich husband they are willing to loan out just for the summer? or is anyone rich enough to send me somewhere tropical? we'd have fun, i promise! or at least, does anyone have a pony i could borrow? a pony would be almost as fun as a rich husband. i'm not picky really, i mean i am willing to settle for minimum wage. i'd take a deaf pony.
if i had either, i'd give them both to you.
> calgon, take me away!
Posted by octopusprime on May 15, 2004, at 12:15:39
In reply to i want a pony (or a rich husband), posted by karen_kay on May 15, 2004, at 9:49:46
kk i think you are psychic.
for weeks now at work i have been asking for a pony. every time me or a coworker asks for something we'll never get (like a reliable network connection, or enough employees to do the work), i also ask for a pony. one day a guy drew me a picture of a pony and stuck it to my monitor (ok it is a squiggle with PONY written on it). but i think that's as close as i get!
(except it has been suggested that i go to the toy store and get a my little pony for my cube)
i realized though that i would be too heavy to ride a real pony. i wanted to ride it to work and park it next to my cube all day. for that reason (and for other sassy reasons), what i really require is a WILD STALLION. :D which is the new running gag. get me my stallion!
ronald reagan had a favourite joke about ponies. it's marginally relevant to the rest of your post, which while important to comment on i glossed over because i am obsessed with ponies. here it goes:
The joke concerns twin boys of five or six. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities -- one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist -- their parents took them to a psychiatrist.
First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. "What's the matter?" the psychiatrist asked, baffled. "Don't you want to play with any of the toys?" "Yes," the little boy bawled, "but if I did I'd only break them."
Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. "What do you think you're doing?" the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. "With all this manure," the little boy replied, beaming, "there must be a pony in here somewhere!"
"Reagan told the joke so often," Meese said, chuckling, "that it got to be kind of a joke with the rest of us. Whenever something would go wrong, somebody on the staff would be sure to say, "There must be a pony in here somewhere.'"
This is the end of the thread.
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