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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
Dear Friends,
I have some very, very bad news about Gracie/Whiterabbit. It could be very triggering and upsetting, so *be careful.*
From time-to-time I have searched for information on where Gracie was, because she left the board so suddenly, and I stopped being able to email her. Again, last night, I found myself searching. My S.O. (who also knew and loved Gracie) and I stayed up all night gathering information, and I have no doubt that what we found confirms that our well-loved Gracie has died.At age 43, she passed away on July 27, 2003. We could not determine, from what we have, the way in which she died. I am crushed that our smart, funny, feisty, strong, loving friend is gone.
My heart and thoughts are with all of you; I appreciate my loved ones here more than ever for the fine support and care so generously given to Gracie. I know we grieve together, and I believe that she is at peace and free at last.
Through my tears, I raise my glass to The Lumptonian Seer and Oracle, Good Witch and Commanding Sgt.-Major of the Lumptonian National Militia--and now our fallen sister-in-arms-- Huzzah! to Gracie!!xoxo
Shar
Posted by Penny on April 29, 2004, at 14:42:13
In reply to Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
Shar,
Thank you for letting us know. That makes me so very very sad...I was thinking about her just recently.
P
Posted by Phil on April 29, 2004, at 16:55:49
In reply to Re: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit » shar, posted by Penny on April 29, 2004, at 14:42:13
Silence and tears
Alone in my room
With silence and tears.
A life shortened
by 30, 40 years
To a disease
With no peer.
I kneel where I am
to silence and tears.
I say to the heavens
Rest sweetly, Gracie dear.
You blessed us all
In your time spent here.A 2003 post from gracie:
"Just finished (re)reading your wonderful words, because you all give me strength, and hope, and make me laugh ("There he is, take him away." Love it, love it.) Then I was thinking how terrible it was that I could walk right past any of you on the street and never say a word because I wouldn't know it was you. (Would I?)
But then I thought, maybe here is another lesson for you. We always attach so much importance to outward appearance and - worse - material possessions. When in reality, our bodies are nothing more than vehicles for our souls to get around in while we're down here on earth...they're just cars. I'll never forget this comment from Wayne Dyer: "We aren't human beings having a spiritual experience. We're spiritual beings having a human experience." Damn, I feel like the Grinch who stole Christmas.
So the fact that we're all faceless to each other, here on this website, isn't a factor. Our souls do connect when we recognize a kindred spirit. Is that too mushy? We all have lessons to teach each other, like: there is life after madness. There is life after depression. There is life after divorce (I'm still working on that one).
Still, you do need some material things to get by comfortably. I'm not living in no box or tent when I move on outta here. So I'm getting out my notebook and starting a list of THINGS GOING WITH ME, and first on my list is the computer. I can't lose ya'll now, no way.
-Gracie
Posted by Dinah on April 29, 2004, at 17:01:49
In reply to Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
Shar, I've been worried about her since she so abruptly stopped posting and returning emails. This confirms my very worst fears. Thank you for caring enough to search out the information.
It's so hard to think of someone so very alive and strong and vibrant being gone.
I wish there was some way we could all get together and lend support to one another at times like this.
Posted by bobby on April 29, 2004, at 21:18:50
In reply to Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
...on cloud nine--having a drink with sar.
Posted by Penny on April 29, 2004, at 22:26:28
In reply to Re: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by Phil on April 29, 2004, at 16:55:49
Posted by noa on April 29, 2004, at 22:31:48
In reply to Re: Thank you for posting that (nm) » Phil, posted by Penny on April 29, 2004, at 22:26:28
Here is a disturbing post just before she died. She posted a couple more times after this--on the 25th.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/245164.html
It is disturbing.
Posted by tabitha on April 30, 2004, at 0:02:25
In reply to Re: Thank you for posting that, posted by noa on April 29, 2004, at 22:31:48
Noa, now that you post that it makes me worry about Sabina, too. Haven't heard from her in a long while.
I only 'talked' to gracie a few times.. but I feel sad for her and for everyone who knew her better. 43 is so young. Thanks Shar for posting this.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 30, 2004, at 5:11:27
In reply to Re: Thank you for posting that, posted by tabitha on April 30, 2004, at 0:02:25
> I only 'talked' to gracie a few times.. but I feel sad for her and for everyone who knew her better. 43 is so young.
I've started a memorial thread over at PB Grief:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/341657.html
I thought that might be one way to mourn her loss together. And people could continue to use this board for support, information, etc.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Ivan Michael on April 30, 2004, at 10:32:49
In reply to Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
wow. i am so sorrie. i haven't been here long and didn't know her but this is never happie news. i wish that in some way i could help with your grieving. all that i can do for now is give kind words and pray. your friend is in my prayers and so are you. i'm not reallie a religious person aniemore but in some cases i feel it is worth the time. i'd like to become aquainted with you and learn about you as well as the others on this site. please post soon and take care. Ivan.
To Whiterabbit. a person who sounds to have been a good friend, and great person. may she rest in peace.
Posted by Sabina on April 30, 2004, at 11:31:22
In reply to Re: Thank you for posting that, posted by tabitha on April 30, 2004, at 0:02:25
yes, noa, thank you for posting that. it reminds me how far i've come in less than a year. i made a copy of gracie's post from the 25th of july and referred to it often during that difficult period for me, both emotionally and physically. most helpful, in particular, was her description of what it was like to finally find the right medication, giving me the hope that it was actually possible. blessedly, i did find my hope fulfilled with seroquel, just like gracie did, and now have peace of mind for the first time in my life.
"Hard to describe the reward...it's not like winning the jackpot or striking oil. It's more like - going home, when you always believed there was no home to go to."
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030718/msgs/243355.html
i wrote to her several times, but never got a reply and, i suppose, now i know the reason. at the time i thought it was because she had to get away from her husband and was "unplugged." i posted my concerns here but no one ever knew anything at that time or was able to say, in any case. i'm really upset about this. i didn't see it coming at all. i think i would have rather gone on pretending that she got away from him and started a new life and was either posting and helping people elsewhere, lurking here, or posting here under another name for safety's sake. i may just keep pretending that anyway!
i'm also torn between wanting to know what happened so i can finally be done with it and not wanting to know any more details...ever...at all. when you wonder about something *so* often and for *so* long, the feelings tear against themselves until you're hopelessly conflicted. you imagine the worst then you convince yourself of a fairy story ending all in one moment. i know, i'm veering off into grief redirect territory here, so i'll stop.
[btw, sorry to make you worry, tabitha. i mostly only lurk in on folks i know (like you!) and/or topics of interest (like that face experiment thing). i'm still around. i just don't post much. love, bina]
Posted by Dinah on April 30, 2004, at 11:38:54
In reply to Re: memorial thread, posted by Dr. Bob on April 30, 2004, at 5:11:27
Thank you, Dr. Bob. And thank you for starting it out with your own memories. That means a lot to me.
I'm not sure I'm quite ready yet to go back and look at her posts. Even though I can't say that the news was a surprise, as it was what we all feared, it's still affected me in ways I don't quite understand yet.
I feel like I want to stand with those who knew her, and grieve the loss. But I also feel like running away, fast. The limitations of the internet connection seem almost overwhelming right now.
Posted by kid47 on April 30, 2004, at 12:08:58
In reply to Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
Damn
kd
Posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2004, at 12:23:30
In reply to Re: Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by kid47 on April 30, 2004, at 12:08:58
> Damn
>
> kdI didn't know her, but ditto. This makes me very sad.
Posted by fallsfall on April 30, 2004, at 17:04:59
In reply to Re: Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whitera, posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2004, at 12:23:30
She was Whiterabbit when I met her, and she was wonderful. I wanted to get to know her, but then she was gone.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 30, 2004, at 18:54:03
In reply to Re: Whiterabbit, posted by fallsfall on April 30, 2004, at 17:04:59
I am really sorry for the loss of her to her loved ones in her life and on here..I have seen the screen name in looking at old threads way back and liked it..Bless her and you all..how sad :(
Posted by noa on April 30, 2004, at 19:02:31
In reply to Re: how much gracie helped me » tabitha, posted by Sabina on April 30, 2004, at 11:31:22
Hey, Sabina. Glad you are ok. Thank you for posting.
I had gone away for about a month at that time (I think as I look through old posts that I posted on the 27th and then was away) and so it didn't even register to me that there was a problem at the time, or that it was odd that she wasn't posting all of a sudden. I think when I got back from traveling, I didn't make the connection at all. I wish I had.
Posted by Phil on April 30, 2004, at 20:50:36
In reply to Re: memorial thread, posted by Dr. Bob on April 30, 2004, at 5:11:27
Thank you.
Posted by Emme on April 30, 2004, at 21:51:53
In reply to Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whiterabbit, posted by shar on April 29, 2004, at 14:35:35
Wow. I'm really sad to hear this. sigh.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 1, 2004, at 9:28:45
In reply to Re: Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whitera, posted by Emme on April 30, 2004, at 21:51:53
To those who knew her and loved her, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to know her.
gg
Posted by Escher Dementian on May 2, 2004, at 7:25:15
In reply to Re: Trigger--Caution: Very Bad News about Whitera, posted by gardenergirl on May 1, 2004, at 9:28:45
Oh my gosh...
i didn't know her, but i feel extreme gravity after reading the first post and link in this thread. My sincerest sympathies for your loss, those of you who knew her.... she seemed to be very compassionate, and a wonderful and deep friend.
In Memorial Respect,
Escher
This is the end of the thread.
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