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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 12 to 36 of 45. Go back in thread:
Posted by whiterabbit on July 2, 2003, at 15:58:28
In reply to Re: nonetheless, there's nobody else there NOW » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on July 2, 2003, at 12:47:51
Men, they kill me. I got that "maybe later we can be friends" line from my husband, who is busily divorcing me to be with the new woman.I laughed in an evil way and said, "You've got to be kidding. I'm not going to hang around here just in case you decide to be my friend. This is my big chance to move to the coast, right? I'm out of here."
He looked shocked. I guess he never considered that I'D want to get away from HIM. After all he's put me through, my pain was turning to rage-
still not a good state of mind to be in, the hater suffers more than the hated in most cases.
But the anger was better than the feeling of having been rejected and abandoned - that had been close to unbearable.So what we're going through now is all part of the process of grieving - maybe it helps to look at such raw emotion in a clinical way. You have to endure these heavy and painful emotions by getting through one day at a time, and each day you're just a little further along - not in any noticeable way, but in the way that your hair grows and glaciers move - you're a tiny bit further along in the discernable stages of grieving. At the end, God willing, you reach acceptance.
I can't even think about other men yet, I'm not ready for that. My God, the last time I was NOT in a committed relationship, nobody had heard of AIDS! I don't know how I'm going to deal with that whole scene - maybe I just won't. I'll just move to a cabin in the swamp, sew voodoo dolls of my ex-husband and feed the alligators to pass the time.
Banjo, please....
Gracie
Posted by Tabitha on July 2, 2003, at 18:14:09
In reply to I THINK you can, I THINK you can, I THINK you can (nm) » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 2, 2003, at 15:33:57
I did SOME useful things-- got the oil in the car changed, did a little weeding, went to the mall and bought a purse (larger than normal for me, nice soft suede with some cute beadwork and hot pink satin lining), some cheap silver jewelry, had a decent lunch, and the big treat, went to Tiffany to get my necklace cleaned. For 5 minutes you get treated like royalty--and your gems sparkle afterward.
Posted by Dinah on July 2, 2003, at 20:00:42
In reply to Re: I THINK you can, I THINK you can, I THINK you can, posted by Tabitha on July 2, 2003, at 18:14:09
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 14:20:02
In reply to Re: I KNEW you could, I KNEW you could :) (nm) » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 2, 2003, at 20:00:42
We made up. I'm now officially one of those silly people who breaks up, trash talks the other person, posts his kiss-off email on the internet, complains to all her friends, then makes up 2 days later.
Boy do I feel like a nut. Maybe it's time to go back to my healthy relationship support groups.
Thanks for all the support-- I really needed it, even if it seems now like the 'breakup' wasn't really real. I hope nobody feels cheated.
Posted by Greg on July 3, 2003, at 14:44:47
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship..., posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 14:20:02
You know we're happy if you are:)
As my wife always reminds me, one of the best things about being married is we'll always have a date for the dance...
Hope you have a great holiday weekend!
Greg
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:12:19
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship..., posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 14:20:02
No problem, Tabitha, as long as you don't hold what we might have said against us. :)
I hope all goes well.
Dinah
Posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 16:36:18
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:12:19
...and am accepting all rollover condolonces.
Everyone can still feel really badly for me, if they like. ;)
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:49:57
In reply to *I'm* still broken up..., posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 16:36:18
Consider the condolences rolled over.
You know, I always feel like such a dunce on the relationship threads. I haven't experienced relationship angst for over twenty years, and even then it was the thrill of the hunt and not a breakup. So I feel singularly ill-equipped to say anything but "I'm really sorry for the pain you're going through."
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 17:23:00
In reply to Re: *I'm* still broken up... » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:49:57
Kara Lynne you're funny!
But you know I empathize.. and I'm sorry.I think I'm broken up, he's just not around to say it, so maybe I could have some too?
I feel sick.
Sort of the trickle down theory except in Breakup
Land..
Posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 18:14:19
In reply to I think I'm broken up..., posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 17:23:00
Gab,
But you don't *know* yet. The problem is you have only your own mind to check the facts with--and I don't mean that to be insulting!Remember what he said, remember how long it's been. Remember anything he's given you that you can hawk.
I still get all the condolences for now.
Posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 18:18:56
In reply to Re: *I'm* still broken up... » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:49:57
Dinah,
Any kindness is still kindness. It all works! Thank you, and thank you for all your kindnesses to me.
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 20:02:45
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up..., posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 18:14:19
Okay, you win, they're all yours for now.
And you're right, I still have stuff I can hawk :)Love to you
xo
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 20:27:39
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Kara Lynn, posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 20:02:45
lol you two. :))
What's up, Gabbi? Anything you care to discuss?
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:01:35
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:12:19
> No problem, Tabitha, as long as you don't hold what we might have said against us. :)
>I may be a silly woman but I'm not that silly. I'll take it in the spirit it was given-- as support for me. And I realize I just might have the teensiest tendency to exaggerate his flaws when I'm hurt.. so of course people are going to say 'what a jerk'.
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:02:51
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship..., posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:01:35
Posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 23:03:34
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Greg on July 3, 2003, at 14:44:47
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:00:08
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship... » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:12:19
> No problem, Tabitha, as long as you don't hold what we might have said against us. :)
>Yes! I've learned the hard way about this. I opined a bit too much when a friend told me some of the horribly inconsiderate things her husband did to her when she was pregnant with their first child. Well, when she decided to just deal with him jerkiness and all, she also stopped telling me anything. Well, maybe that is ok, but the friendship changed, too.
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:00:48
In reply to Re: OK, I'm in a crazy high-drama relationship..., posted by Tabitha on July 3, 2003, at 14:20:02
Chalk it up to "Live and Learn"?
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:01:39
In reply to *I'm* still broken up..., posted by kara lynne on July 3, 2003, at 16:36:18
OK, I've transferred all my condolence balance from Tabby over to your account!!
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:02:56
In reply to I think I'm broken up..., posted by Gabbix2 on July 3, 2003, at 17:23:00
My goodness--it's epidemic! Sorry to hear this, Gabbi.
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 14:55:28
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up... » Gabbix2, posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 10:02:56
Thanks Noa, and Dinah, I really do want to talk, I'm not doing s o well though, even tho, this may well be in my head, i'll probably ask you later,
if you have some time to spare.
Posted by Dinah on July 4, 2003, at 15:07:09
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Dinah » noa, posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 14:55:28
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 17:39:50
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Dinah » noa, posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 14:55:28
I'm around this evening, but then I'm off on a little itsy bitsy vacaton (just a few days).
Posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 20:00:15
In reply to Re: I think I'm broken up...Dinah » Gabbix2, posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 17:39:50
And thank you both..
The man I've been seeing, and am crazy over,
as he has been over me, is from the U.S, he's decided he wants to live with me in Canada, and
work here, so he left me, to work in the U.s for a while, to get some money together, get his visa etc, etc...
Now, he's very understanding that, I've not once,
not ONcE, had a promise kept of a significant sort, from a man, or otherwise,and that this would be really hard on me, Before he left
he gave me a diamond ring, and a t-shirt of his (that smells like him) for when things get rough.
You see I don't have a phone, and he has no computer, he promised to write letters, but so far I haven't heard from him.
It was my first real jewel, its funny I didn't even know it was a diamond!I was okay for a while, its been about 10 days, but I woke up with a jolt a few mornings ago, a jolt that usually means "somethings up"
And thats the problem. I'm usually right intuitively. So I'm trying to rationalize saying a man doesn't do those things, unless he's serious, but I also know that people break promises all the time, and do the strangest things after being so sincere, and not hearing from him and not being able to contact him
is making me sick.
Its getting to the point where I'm triggering myself into a depression
(summers a risky time for me anyway.)
I'm alone,
I'm not working, I'm trying to stay active and stuff, but this is just eating at me. And All I do is sit and shake with anxiety,I'm sorry this isn't written very clearly I'm just all over the place today.
Thanks for listening
Posted by shar on July 4, 2003, at 20:25:33
In reply to okay, here it is.., posted by Gabbix2 on July 4, 2003, at 20:00:15
Gabbi,
I had no idea this was going on! First and foremost, guys are notorious about losing track of time and/or thinking "I don't want to call or talk until everything is settled" that kind of thing (and forgive me, any guys who read this and are not like that. I admit it is a generalization.).Please give it more time, at least 2 weeks, then, can you call him? Collect? From a pay phone or a friend's phone?
Don't worry over much about your jolt. Sometimes they can be real but (a) about something else in your life, or (b) about a glitch that occurred that does NOT mean something terrible, just something happened.
Awww, I hate you have to endure this. Is there not enough pain in life already!!??
{[{[{[Gabbix}]}]}]Shar
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