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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Medusa on May 16, 2003, at 22:04:44
DH saw his family systems analyst yesterday.
It's struck DH as a bit unprofessional of the guy to send bills (via e-mail) the day after their sessions. (The guy does a lot of business consulting, and in business practices here, one sends bills bi-monthly or monthly, and the bill-ee transfers the sum, often with a small discount for paying within a set number of days.)
The guy has some good insights about family stuff, but is rough around the edges business-wise. So DH brought this up at the end of his session, as a suggestion-for-improvement.
Analyst replies, "okay, I can wait to send your bills. It doesn't matter anyway, since I'm not making much of a profit on your case."
DH is +not+ a charity case. I can't even type out what he's paying per hour, for ca. 3-hour sessions once every six weeks or so. It's double the maximum I've ever paid, and I'm not talking co-pays, I mean full-price, uninsured.
My stomach got really tight when DH told me this ... I observed my reaction and shared it with him. I tend to over-protect him, and I know he can (and will) handle this on his own. My first reaction, had I been there, would have been violence - suppressed, of course. He'll handle it, he'll handle it, he'll handle it ...
A lot of therapists get away with this kind of baloney, because patients are so grateful for the legitimate help the offenders do provide, AND patients are generally so insecure about the power relationship. Grrrrrrrrrr!
Why do so many therapists get beady-eyed about money? This guy also talked WAY too much about some of the businesses he'd done consulting work for ... and was obsequious to us until he figured out that DH was +not+ bringing the analyst in to do work for his family business.
I still feel responsible for this. Irrational. Completely screwy of me. But I can't help wanting to exterminate the guy. (I know, please be civil.)
Any thoughts are appreciated. I'm mucho-anxiety over this ... of course, because I'm observing and changing the way I react, and some reaction patterns are reeeeeeeeeallly deep-seated.
Posted by fayeroe on May 17, 2003, at 9:27:24
In reply to gut reaction to DH's shrink- feedback appreciated, posted by Medusa on May 16, 2003, at 22:04:44
Give it a few days. It sounds unprofessional, but just work on how you are responding to it over the week-end....I don't know who DH is or what your relationship to him is but if he can handle it, let him. I know it's hard not to jump in but generally jumping in just means you get wet and feel foolish! At least that's the way it has worked for me. Best, Fayeroe
Posted by Dinah on May 17, 2003, at 12:48:32
In reply to gut reaction to DH's shrink- feedback appreciated, posted by Medusa on May 16, 2003, at 22:04:44
Sounds like he's a bit arrogant. And a bit defensive. Therapists certainly aren't without their own personal character flaws. And arrogance seems to be a fairly typical one.
If the therapist is effective at what he does, your husband might choose to just accept the rest of it. Even find it amusing. I find it vastly therapeutic to laugh at my therapist's foibles.
Posted by Medusa on May 18, 2003, at 8:30:22
In reply to Re: gut reaction to DH's shrink- feedback appreciated » Medusa, posted by Dinah on May 17, 2003, at 12:48:32
Thanks.
DH wrote his therapist a very direct letter. I presume the guy will respond defensively.
Anyway.
Have headache and much bigger problems, but it's so much easier to try to take care of DH. Argh.
This is the end of the thread.
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