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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kam on January 27, 2003, at 20:54:35
Okay, I went to Cancun with 3 of my girlfriends, left the husbands at home, I fell five feet straight on my forehead and banged my self up real bad. I had to take a week off work. I am still feeling about 70 and I'm 40, I get home and had told my son to move his drum set out of the spair room upstairs by Friday before he went back to college, so my husband could work on the room. Needless to say he never did, so I called him Friday night and told him I was putting them on the front lawn. He came home Saturday like a mad man, I went to take a xanax for my panic attacks and one of his friends had stolen all but a few of them. I thought the last refill was mis counted, hmmmmm, either my son or his friend took them. Now I feel anger, guilt and just plain down and out!!! I also found his Pot stash in his room. I fear he is becoming his father, not quite sure what to do with him. He told me F U and I would never see his children when he has any. Not sure what to feel or do here!!! Any help out there????
Posted by Tabitha on January 28, 2003, at 2:43:01
In reply to down and out, posted by Kam on January 27, 2003, at 20:54:35
Just one idea... keep the pot and use that instead of xanax. It's only fair.
Posted by bpdzone2000 on January 28, 2003, at 7:57:14
In reply to Re: down and out, posted by Tabitha on January 28, 2003, at 2:43:01
Sounds like your son has some "ANGER" issue's... and he's putting alot of his aggression out on you... As hard as it is too not take personally, we can't. I don't know how old your son is an all but we can only do our best as mom's and God for bid we ask them to do something.
Pot has it's ups and downs as you probrably know already. Most of the time it will create panic attacks!
And of course your angry... I would be too if someone took my meds. Resentment, yes that too... Unfortunately those feelings won't get us anywhere except down and out. Work thru and try to talk with him?
I'm not by far trying to be a therapist because God knows I don't think very clearly myself at times... Hope this helps..
Posted by Kam on January 28, 2003, at 9:47:39
In reply to Re: down and out, posted by bpdzone2000 on January 28, 2003, at 7:57:14
>Thank you, that did help, and yes I'm sure he does have some anger
issues, after all he lived in the same house with
his abusive father too. He is 19, second year of college, he
came home for his break and just did a complete turn
around. I didn't expect to raise and angel, after all
I was far from that and still am. I am just worried
he is going to throw his future he has planned
away. And yes I know about pot all to well, his father
smokes it from morning til night. I am so worried
he is turning into him and that he has forgotten all
I gave him and taught him. Anyway thanks for listening
and for your response. It was helpful to know my feelings
are justified.Take care,
Kam
Sounds like your son has some "ANGER" issue's... and he's putting alot of his aggression out on you... As hard as it is too not take personally, we can't. I don't know how old your son is an all but we can only do our best as mom's and God for bid we ask them to do something.
> Pot has it's ups and downs as you probrably know already. Most of the time it will create panic attacks!
> And of course your angry... I would be too if someone took my meds. Resentment, yes that too... Unfortunately those feelings won't get us anywhere except down and out. Work thru and try to talk with him?
> I'm not by far trying to be a therapist because God knows I don't think very clearly myself at times... Hope this helps..
>
Posted by jodie on January 28, 2003, at 15:18:52
In reply to Re: down and out, posted by Kam on January 28, 2003, at 9:47:39
I am 26, female. I never went to college, I got married when I was 18, and had a son then. I made so many mistakes. My parents were very unhappy with my decisions. I had lots of anger problems (still do often) in my teen/late teen years. I did a lot of things I shouldn't have. Used to run away a lot, screamed and said hateful things to my parents. I am still like that is some ways, with many people that I get close to. I have been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder in the past, now it's ADD, it may change again.
Being 19 (or anywhere close to that age) is hard. You are trying to figure out who you are. Still lots of peer pressure. Trying to be independent, yet finding it overwhelming. Even talking to someone that age can seem like a lost cause. People at that age do a lot of experimenting with a lot of things. A lot of people never even make it to college. You said he is in his second year. Hopefully he continues.
Sorry if I'm just babbling on. I just remember how I was when I was that age. Actually had I not got married, and had a baby, I may have been worse off, I had to grow up quick. I'm sure things will improve. Hope for the best. I'm no therapist, far from it!! But hope this helped just a little.
Posted by Phyl on January 28, 2003, at 18:25:27
In reply to down and out, posted by Kam on January 27, 2003, at 20:54:35
> Okay, I went to Cancun with 3 of my girlfriends, left the husbands at home, I fell five feet straight on my forehead and banged my self up real bad. I had to take a week off work. I am still feeling about 70 and I'm 40, I get home and had told my son to move his drum set out of the spair room upstairs by Friday before he went back to college, so my husband could work on the room. Needless to say he never did, so I called him Friday night and told him I was putting them on the front lawn. He came home Saturday like a mad man, I went to take a xanax for my panic attacks and one of his friends had stolen all but a few of them. I thought the last refill was mis counted, hmmmmm, either my son or his friend took them. Now I feel anger, guilt and just plain down and out!!! I also found his Pot stash in his room. I fear he is becoming his father, not quite sure what to do with him. He told me F U and I would never see his children when he has any. Not sure what to feel or do here!!! Any help out there????
>> About all I can offer you is to keep loving your son, and letting him know that you do love him. If he does something you don't like, try to talk it over with him. Give him "another chance" to prove his trustworthiness. It is very difficult being a teenager these days. I raised five children. Most go through some tough times, giving the parents an even tougher time. But they are really looking for support and approval, and love. Give him a lot of hugs along the way, with the discipline. Hang in there; he'll probably come around. Most do.
The most difficult job we have is trying to be a good parent -- it isn't always easy.
Good luck!
Posted by Kam on January 31, 2003, at 16:10:29
In reply to Re: down and out, posted by Phyl on January 28, 2003, at 18:25:27
I want to thank you all for your advice, support and responses, I love my son more than anything in the world, he was my purpose for waking up many mornings when he was younger. I will never give up on him, I just feel there is a communication barrier right now, even though I had him so young. He is picking up the rest of his things this weekend. I want to talk to him so much about what he remembers from his past, with his father, I'm just not sure how to bring it up. I also want him to know what I went through, so he understands me a little more and why I have issues now because of my past. I know anxiety disorders can be hereditary and I would not wish that on him for anything in the world. I need for him to know what it's about and why I have it. And that he needs to release what ever he may be holding inside him. It's just right now he doesn't even want to talk to me. It has me very down right now. I again thank all of you for your responses. They have helped me!!
Kam
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