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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 29. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 20, 2002, at 0:07:19
Today I watched my wife drive off drunk with a guyfriend. I counted 6 beers were missing from the fridge.
Should this make me upset?
I know if I divorce her that she will get the kids simply because the judges only do what is politically correct, and that is to help out poor repressed mothers by giving them whatever they request. She then will be D.U.I.ing my kids all over the roads even more than she does now. How do I get out of this mess?
I'm getting serios suicidal ideation worse than I have ever had.
Posted by shar on October 20, 2002, at 3:44:00
In reply to Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 20, 2002, at 0:07:19
First and foremost, you need to take care of yourself so you can take action to help your kids and possibly leave your marriage. It sounds like therapy is in order for the suicidal ideation, meds may also be useful.
While you are still living in the situation, Al Anon could be a help because it is for people who are living with alcoholics. That group could help you with the "should this make me upset?" kind of questions.
Good luck,
Shar> Today I watched my wife drive off drunk with a guyfriend. I counted 6 beers were missing from the fridge.
>
> Should this make me upset?
>
> I know if I divorce her that she will get the kids simply because the judges only do what is politically correct, and that is to help out poor repressed mothers by giving them whatever they request. She then will be D.U.I.ing my kids all over the roads even more than she does now. How do I get out of this mess?
>
> I'm getting serios suicidal ideation worse than I have ever had.
>
Posted by Lou Pilder on October 20, 2002, at 11:38:42
In reply to Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 20, 2002, at 0:07:19
lawence S.
I may be able to have someone give you some infomation that may help you.
First, your assesment of your legal position may be in error. This depends on the State that you reside in as to what their laws are in relation to divorce and custody and support.
I have many partners that are lawyers. I can not give you legal advise, but I can relate your situation to one of my partners, with your approval, and allow them to contact you, with your approval, and advise you of your rights in the situation that you are describing here. They are civil rights lawyers and no one loses their civil rights when they walk through the divorce court doors.
It may supprise you that your perception of judges "only do what is politically correct" may have been replaced in your state with a more equitable position for the father of children that has a mother that is found guilty of DUI.
I am willing to help you , for I consider you a friend along with the other members of this forum and if you want some infomtion about your situation, you can email me or make our conversation available to this forum by posting here and I will answer. But the legal questions will have to be answered by one of my partners and you will have to supply a valid email address to me in order for them to respond to you privatly. I will insists that there will be no charge to you since I am asking one of my partners to help a friend, and I consider evryone on this board to be my friend, with a problem that is distressing them and that you are in need of advise. If you are going to need representation, then you would obtain your own counsel in the state that you reside. But I just want to help you, in any way that I can, with the distress call that you have put out on this forum, for perhaps there is something in your favor in this situation that you are posting here. One last note, and that is that the rules of this board may prevent me from helping you in this manner, so I will have to have an approval from the moderator of this board to allow you to contact my partners before I will do it in order to prevent any violation that I may not be aware of on this board.
On another note, if you are having any problems with your domestic situation in regards to your faith, then by posting that on the faith board, we can have a discussion about that.
Lou
Posted by jyl on October 20, 2002, at 12:32:01
In reply to Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 20, 2002, at 0:07:19
hey larry,
pull a thingy mawhoie out of the engine...
take the battery out...
smash out the head lighs so she would get stopped.
your kids need you now-play safe.
jyl
Posted by Kamikazi_Ladybug on October 20, 2002, at 17:04:25
In reply to Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 20, 2002, at 0:07:19
How bout...the next time she pulls out of the driveway drunk you call the police station with the license plate number? You HAVE to protect your children, and right now, you HAVE to start by having documented proof of her actions. BUT as was said working on yourself is important too!! Stay strong Lawrence!
Ladybug
Posted by Gracie2 on October 21, 2002, at 2:23:58
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! lawrence s., posted by Kamikazi_Ladybug on October 20, 2002, at 17:04:25
Gonads needed...what a "man" thing to say! I think it's safe to say that most women, if they saw their husband driving off with the children in an intoxicated state, would first and foremost be concerned with the wellbeing of the children. It would be painful if another man was involved,
but the children must come first. Feeling emasculated is surely a primary concern, but it does pale in comparison to your children being driven around in a vehicle by a drunk. Please take my word for it...try to imagine your child,
almost dead and completely incapacitated by something like severe brain damage or a severed spinal cord. Try to imagine spending your life
caring for a complete invalid, and knowing that you might have done something to save your child's life if you hadn't been quite so worried about your gonads. Your primary concern, right now, is to remove your children from a life of drunkeness and fighting and unrest. At all costs,
prevent your wife from using the children as pawns. Shield them and love them and make them feel safe. As their father, you owe that to them.
-Gracie
Posted by jyl on October 21, 2002, at 8:11:32
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! , posted by Gracie2 on October 21, 2002, at 2:23:58
gee gracie,
you sure are morbid.
i am sure all those horrible examples has been running through his head for quite some time now.
eeewwwww
jyl
Posted by lawrence s. on October 21, 2002, at 10:16:17
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! » Gracie2, posted by jyl on October 21, 2002, at 8:11:32
> gee gracie,
> you sure are morbid.
> i am sure all those horrible examples has been running through his head for quite some time now.
> eeewwwww
> jylI appreciate everyones comments and support. Lou, I am intrigued by your suggestion. I live in Wisconsin and I was divorced 15 years ago and I am still paying off legal fees from it. I estimated that I paid about $60,000.00 in all. My first wife was sort of bi-polar personality disorderish and extremely violent. On a new years eve while we were snowed in our house she flipped and tried to stick a butcher knife into me, (one example of scores of them). She won custody of my son. When I asked the judge why you were giving custody to a woman who has tried to kill herself, my son and me. I was told in essence: "Shut up. I don't want to hear about it".
I refused to accept the agreement and scheduled another court date. My attorney was so unhappy with the case he desperately asked me that if I found another attorney he would wave his fees that I acrued up to that date. I agreed, however I forgot to get it in writing. 6 months later I got a court summons fromthat Attorney saying that I owed him $3,000.00 (the amount that he agreed to wave) I went to court against my former attorney I told my story The judge did'nt beleive me. He got the money.
I filed a greivance to the bar association. My former attorney's response was to the charges of malpractice: a 3 page long plea that I was not competent because I was mentally ill. going on to describe my mental illness in detail as if he were a Psychiatrist. This response he made to the bar association was absolutely ludricrous! With the exception that I was on medication Xanax and Desipramine. He, of couse was dismissed by the bar association. I had a heck of a time. In fact it was next to impossible finding an attorney (they don't have to be your attorney if they don't want to) to persue any further legal action for child custody was like trying to apply for a job.
Losing your status as a father, time with your child, respect of your child and affection. Watching some loser that my ex-wife picked up in a bar take over my role as a father and abuse my son is a fate worse than death!
Sorry. I didnt expect this to turn into a book.
Larry.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 21, 2002, at 10:17:40
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! » Gracie2, posted by jyl on October 21, 2002, at 8:11:32
> gee gracie,
> you sure are morbid.
> i am sure all those horrible examples has been running through his head for quite some time now.
> eeewwwww
> jylThanks Jyl!
Posted by Lou Pilder on October 21, 2002, at 16:15:23
In reply to Re: Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 21, 2002, at 10:16:17
Larry,
What a situation that you have described here! I havee to digest a little and I will get back to you.
Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on October 21, 2002, at 16:18:48
In reply to Re: Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 21, 2002, at 10:16:17
Larry,
I am in Cicinnati, Ohio. Is Wisconson a state that divides in half all of the assets of the partys in divorce?
Lou
Posted by lawrence s. on October 22, 2002, at 13:26:04
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! » lawrence s., posted by Lou Pilder on October 21, 2002, at 16:18:48
Lou,
Wisconsin is a 50/50 no fault state when I got divorced. I have'nt heard of any change.I read my post's again. I was really angry sounding. I'm embbarassed. I think my medication must've been wearing off at the time. Reading it, it sounds unbelievable all the things that I said. Unfortunately they are true.
I can't respond quickly because I am home so little. I spend 14hrs. a day at work as a tech. (which can effect my state of mind!) I build MRI's in a factory. I can read the posts at work but I can't respond at work. Please keep the responses coming!I did leave out some positive things that happened to my son and I. A few years ago The judge ordered a Psych evaluation. The results made my ex-wife look pretty bad, and myself, well, surprisingly OK.
I did obtain full custody of my son for a couple years at my sons request. Thanks to a good lawyer that I found. However, my son ended up going back and living with his Mom for a couple reasons. He didn't like living in the sticks, and he could'nt get along with my present wife.
Do you still think you can help me? I would like to give out my E-mail address, but it has my full name in it. I don't know how to get around this. I do want to hear more of what you have to say.Larry
Posted by Lou Pilder on October 22, 2002, at 20:12:28
In reply to Re: Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 22, 2002, at 13:26:04
Larry,
Has ther been a fiing for divoce as of yet?
Lou
Posted by IsoM on October 23, 2002, at 0:01:33
In reply to Re: Gonads needed!, posted by lawrence s. on October 22, 2002, at 13:26:04
If you'd like to give your email address but don't want it widely public, take out a free "junk" email account on Yahoo, Hotmail, or something similar. When you fill out the account form, don't put your real name or age, etc in it. And make sure you carefully uncheck the boxes that share your email address as a default feature. Otherwise, you'll have your junk email box filled with literal junk - spam.
Then when you post your email address on a forum, give it as "such-and-such at hotmail dot com"
This will stop it from showing in a search.
Posted by Gracie2 on October 23, 2002, at 22:07:36
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! » Gracie2, posted by jyl on October 21, 2002, at 8:11:32
If I'm morbid, it's because I've been in the medical profession for over 20 years, and I've spent a lot of time working in the emergency room. I've seen more dead or dying kids than I care to remember.
In my experience, the top three reasons for car accidents are teenagers, old people, and drunks-
in no specific order, it varies. So another word for "morbid" might be "realistic".
-Gracie
Posted by jyl on October 24, 2002, at 9:29:54
In reply to Re: Gonads needed-jyl, posted by Gracie2 on October 23, 2002, at 22:07:36
are you yellin at me gracie?
gee i cant seem to even get along with imaginary people!
:(
Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2002, at 11:44:16
In reply to Re: Gonads needed-jyl » Gracie2, posted by jyl on October 24, 2002, at 9:29:54
I didn't hear any yelling. But when I read gracie's original post, I identified completely with it. I haven't seen personally the carnage that drunk driving has brought, but I would throw myself in front of the car rather than risk my son being injured by a drunk driver. I can only imagine that if I had seen the results of drunk driving, that the intensity of my emotions would be even stronger.
I'll never forget a talk given by a former policeman about the importance of seatbelts. He very honestly, and with obvious emotion, recounted the details of a wreck he had come across where children were not belted in. I didn't see it as a bit grisly. I saw it as life saving and I was enormously grateful to him for being willing to share something so painful to him.
And hey, we aren't imaginary. We're just not physically present at your location.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 24, 2002, at 12:30:22
In reply to Re: Gonads needed! » lawrence s., posted by Lou Pilder on October 22, 2002, at 20:12:28
> Larry,
> Has ther been a fiing for divoce as of yet?
> LouPhil, No.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 24, 2002, at 12:41:08
In reply to Re: giving out email address » lawrence s., posted by IsoM on October 23, 2002, at 0:01:33
> If you'd like to give your email address but don't want it widely public, take out a free "junk" email account on Yahoo, Hotmail, or something similar. When you fill out the account form, don't put your real name or age, etc in it. And make sure you carefully uncheck the boxes that share your email address as a default feature. Otherwise, you'll have your junk email box filled with literal junk - spam.
>
> Then when you post your email address on a forum, give it as "such-and-such at hotmail dot com"
> This will stop it from showing in a search.I used to have a yahoo email account but it expired I tried renewing it and everytime I try or even try to re-register I go through the trouble of filling out the form I hit submit and poof! back to registration page, as if I never filled it out at all. I'm not all that computer literate I guess.
Posted by jyl on October 24, 2002, at 13:00:19
In reply to Re: Gonads needed-jyl » jyl, posted by Dinah on October 24, 2002, at 11:44:16
i guess
i am the imaginary one.....
sorry
Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2002, at 13:36:33
In reply to Re: Gonads needed-jyl » Dinah, posted by jyl on October 24, 2002, at 13:00:19
Posted by IsoM on October 24, 2002, at 13:53:21
In reply to Re: giving out email address, posted by lawrence s. on October 24, 2002, at 12:41:08
Then go to Hotmail & try there. It's free: http://ca.msn.com/
Or go directly to the form for signing up with Hotmail:
http://registernet.passport.net/reg.srf?id=2&lc=4105&cb=%26_lang%3DEN%26country%3DCA&sl=1
Near the bottom of the page where it says "Tired of registration forms?" make sure you don't check any of these! Otherwise you'll end up with tons of spam.If you're not computer literate, teach yourself - it's not that hard.
Pick a few sites that help & read them.
On the menu bar of each page is stuff like File, Edit, View, etc.
Open them & read what they do.
Check over the Help section on contents & index.Here's a site of a good computer & internet dictionary: http://www.webopedia.com/
Ever see a file with an ending like .jpg or .doc? The first is what you'd find after a picture or photo.
The second is what you'd see after a word document.
If you ever get a file sent to you & you're not sure what it is, check it out here:
http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/fileextensionsfull.aspJust because you get something sent to you that says Photo of Uncle Joe.exe doesn't mean it's really a picture of Uncle Joe. The .exe ending means it's actually a small program that'll do something to your computer if you click on it. It's one way viruses are sent to unsuspecting people.
Educate yourself. Save pertinent web sites in your favourites (or bookmarks).
Posted by lawrence s. on October 25, 2002, at 3:18:43
In reply to Re: giving out email address » lawrence s., posted by IsoM on October 24, 2002, at 13:53:21
> Then go to Hotmail & try there. It's free: http://ca.msn.com/
> Or go directly to the form for signing up with Hotmail:
> http://registernet.passport.net/reg.srf?id=2&lc=4105&cb=%26_lang%3DEN%26country%3DCA&sl=1
> Near the bottom of the page where it says "Tired of registration forms?" make sure you don't check any of these! Otherwise you'll end up with tons of spam.
>
> If you're not computer literate, teach yourself - it's not that hard.
> Pick a few sites that help & read them.
> On the menu bar of each page is stuff like File, Edit, View, etc.
> Open them & read what they do.
> Check over the Help section on contents & index.
>
> Here's a site of a good computer & internet dictionary: http://www.webopedia.com/
> Ever see a file with an ending like .jpg or .doc? The first is what you'd find after a picture or photo.
> The second is what you'd see after a word document.
> If you ever get a file sent to you & you're not sure what it is, check it out here:
> http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/fileextensionsfull.asp
>
> Just because you get something sent to you that says Photo of Uncle Joe.exe doesn't mean it's really a picture of Uncle Joe. The .exe ending means it's actually a small program that'll do something to your computer if you click on it. It's one way viruses are sent to unsuspecting people.
>
> Educate yourself. Save pertinent web sites in your favourites (or bookmarks).Thanks IsoM! You've been a great help.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 25, 2002, at 3:29:50
In reply to Re: giving out email address » lawrence s., posted by IsoM on October 24, 2002, at 13:53:21
Here it is:
Kawishiwi56@hotmail
Lou Pilder, I'll be expecting to hear from you. Anyone else who just wants to chat, please E-mail me too.
Posted by jyl on October 25, 2002, at 11:24:13
In reply to Here is my E-mail address..., posted by lawrence s. on October 25, 2002, at 3:29:50
lawrence
i tried to email you but it was a unknown adress
email me at
just your laugh@aol.com
so i can get your adress
okay?
thanks
jyl
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