Psycho-Babble Social Thread 27099

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Lonely in ontario

Posted by janejj on July 24, 2002, at 14:09:33

I'm so lonely. I moved to a new country and got really depressed cos I felt so isolated and hopeless. I managed to recover slightly, but now I am just sliding back into the lonliness and depression. Its hard to find new friedns in a country where its illegal for you to work and everyone would probably hate you anyway. I ahve done my best looking for fellow expats in my area, but to no avail. So I guess I will just become depressed again. I feel so lonely.........I feel I have no one and i will die alone.

Janejj

 

Re: Lonely in ontario

Posted by Gabbi on July 24, 2002, at 14:31:03

In reply to Lonely in ontario, posted by janejj on July 24, 2002, at 14:09:33

Jane,
How long ago did you move?
Pardon me for being so forward, but it sounds like right now, from the way you wrote, that this lonely feeling would be with you no matter where you were.
If you were'nt viewing things through a distorted depression lense you'd be lonely but able to look forward to meeting new people, and not see such a hopeless tunnel ahead.

I used to think that everyone felt that way all the time, and I wondered how people could live when everything was so scary and horrible.
When my depression lifted I realized that wasn't the way most people felt ALL THE TIME

I've not seen any of your letters before so I don't know if you've seen a doctor or if you have any help. Please keep writing though, we can remind you that you aren't alone, and that feeling so hopeless is so frightening, but it does go. Just try and get through the minutes for now.

Gabbi

 

Re: Lonely in ontario

Posted by tina on July 24, 2002, at 14:38:07

In reply to Re: Lonely in ontario, posted by Gabbi on July 24, 2002, at 14:31:03

You can't be lonely in Ontario, it's too damned crowded!!
But seriously, Gabbi is right. If you weren't already depressed, you'd want to meet new people and would be out there trying. It's not your fault that the depression distorts perception.
Are you on meds or seeing a psych?
Whenever you feel lonely, just log on here and there's always someone to talk to.
take care Jane
T

 

Re: Lonely in ontario

Posted by Gabbi on July 24, 2002, at 15:13:39

In reply to Re: Lonely in ontario, posted by tina on July 24, 2002, at 14:38:07

Jane

If you've been diagnosed with depression then I have to remind you that it doesn't come and say to you "I'm depression"
It slips into your head and convinces you that your life is horrible you are horrible and there is no hope. The only feelings it lets you have are fear and anxiety and boredom.

I still can't tell myself "I'm depressed" I feel its the way my life will always be, even if I felt happy the day before.

Thats why you need to keep in touch with us, so we can remind you.
It doesn't mean your life isn't lonely right now, but the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are the depression talking through you.
A healthy person can be very content alone.

Something like a move triggers a depressive episode in many people.
Please make sure you see a doctor if you don't have one already. You might think that its no use that no one can help you.
Its not true.
Please let us know how you are

 

Re: Lonely in ontario

Posted by mscrane on July 24, 2002, at 20:29:14

In reply to Re: Lonely in ontario, posted by Gabbi on July 24, 2002, at 15:13:39

Hey..I'm in Ontario too!!! Do you live in a big city or a small town?? Where ru from, as there are many ex-patriots from all over here..my sister-in-law is from Argentina and they all seem to congragate at her house!

There are many programs all over the province, maybe take a class in something you enjoy. Until then, you have us to talk to...and I could let you know where to go to meet people..funny, I always meet people in Chapters....ok, men always try to pick me up at Chapters..heehee...I don't know why...

Let us know how it's going!!!


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