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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fiona on April 5, 2002, at 17:54:34
Does anyone have any tips on how to get my family to listen to me? I have cyclothymia and I have been trying to explain it to my parents, but they just don't understand, or even want to listen to what I have to say. I think my mum thinks that I'm making it up or something! It is starting to really upset me now. I tried printing some info from the net so that she could read it, but she kinda glanced at it for a bit then put it down saying she didn't get it.
My sister has bipolar and they are the same with her, they don't want to admit there is anything wrong. When I finally got a chance to sit down and really talk, my mum just said "maybe I shouldn't have bothered having kids".
How do I get them to listen and realise it is nobody's fault and that I need their support? Any tips would be much appreciated.
Fiona
Posted by DedeD on April 5, 2002, at 20:01:35
In reply to families, posted by fiona on April 5, 2002, at 17:54:34
Wow, Fiona,
Your mom should get the "Kick in the Ass" award. It's pretty obvious you and your sister are not going to get any support from her. You don't say how your dad reacts to this. Do you have any close friends that you are willing to share with that are willing to bear the burden? I looked up the description of your affliction on the internet. It describes it as moods swings and violent outbursts lasting from two to nine weeks. I'm sure your mom has had her share of it from you and has grown immune. You don't say if you are getting treatment for it. Are you? What are you taking for it? How long before it takes effect? If anything, you have the people on this board for support. I've found them to be very helpful. Best of Luck. -- Dee
Posted by fiona on April 5, 2002, at 20:21:55
In reply to Re: families, posted by DedeD on April 5, 2002, at 20:01:35
My Dad? Well he tries to say as little as possible I think. I think they both just think that they thought they had a "normal" family and we have just shattered their bubble! I know that they both genuinely love us but I think they're kinda of the ostrich school of thinking, if they don't aknowledge the problem then there isn't one! Luckily my best friend is wonderful, she is always there for me and understands completely, my sister also is a huge help and we support each other as much as we can.
I am getting treatment at the moment, but it is only recently that I have sought help, so I don't think my meds have kicked in properly yet and it seems to be worse than ever, but hopefully it will settle down. I am on carbamazepine and dotheipin but not sure how they are working really, I guess I'll just need to have a little faith and patience.
Thank you for your support Dee,Fiona
Posted by tinaboo on April 6, 2002, at 7:40:56
In reply to families, posted by fiona on April 5, 2002, at 17:54:34
How about getting your therapist or doc to talk to them. SOme people just don't want to believe that there is something wrong especially parents. If there is something 'wrong' with their children, they must somehow be responsible so they deny that there is something wrong.
I think if the doc talked to them, they might be more ready to believe.
Is there any way you can swing that?best wishes
tina
Posted by KB on April 6, 2002, at 13:21:55
In reply to Re: families, posted by tinaboo on April 6, 2002, at 7:40:56
I think having a doctor or therapist talk to them is a good idea. I don't know if there is any way to arrange this, but having them talk with other parents of people with mental illness could also be very helpful. Otherwise, give them time - denial usually wears off eventually - don't push too hard, just give them a verbal "open door" periodically and let them step through when/if they're ready.
In the meantime, find other ways to get the support you need.
Posted by kazoo on April 8, 2002, at 0:29:17
In reply to families, posted by fiona on April 5, 2002, at 17:54:34
> Does anyone have any tips on how to get my family to listen to me?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A bull horn is a nice touch.
kazoo
Posted by fi on April 8, 2002, at 12:39:33
In reply to families, posted by fiona on April 5, 2002, at 17:54:34
They wont listen if they dont want to- and they may have a lot invested in not listening. And its a real double whammy that the only response you have had was so negative ('maybe shouldnt have had kids...')
Is there anyone else they might listen to? A health professional, or relative for example? Takes the heat off you, and if it is a professional they see as an expert, it also makes it harder for them to dismiss. Tho they may try!
Meanwhile, I would suggest you work on getting other sources of support so that you're not depending on them?
Its absolutely maddening and unfair when parents behave like this- but not at all uncommon!
Take care.
Fi
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