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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 6:15:08
Initial Consultation
"Don't worry this is a safe setting. No harm
can be done to you through therapy."
-PsychiatristDissolution of Relationship
"No one in my life has made me feel more worthless and ineffectual."
-xxxxThere is a twist to this story.
Posted by beardedlady on March 10, 2002, at 10:09:45
In reply to my last experience with therapy, posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 6:15:08
Wait--lemme guess: xxxxx is Freud? Jung? : )>
Posted by trouble on March 10, 2002, at 15:30:15
In reply to my last experience with therapy, posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 6:15:08
>
> Initial Consultation
> "Don't worry this is a safe setting. No harm
> can be done to you through therapy."
> -Psychiatrist
>
> Dissolution of Relationship
> "No one in my life has made me feel more worthless and ineffectual."
> -xxxxHi John,
What's going on? Is the above a personal anecdote or the kernal of a short story or a quote from a book or what? If it's about your own experience I'd like to know what happened, or at least the twist, if you're in the mood to provide details, lord knows these narratives can do more harm than good, but you can't blame me for being intrigued.
trouble
>
> There is a twist to this story.
Posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 20:13:37
In reply to my last experience with therapy, posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 6:15:08
Sorry, I made it a cliff-hanger (how rude).This is an anecdote about my relationship with
my first psychiatrist. He was really big into
therapy. I was really looking more for medicines,
but he felt that I should do therapy. I felt that
if we did therapy, drudging up painful memories may destabilize
me more and worsen my depression. This prompted
the 1st quote from him....."Don't worry this is a safe setting. No harm
can be done to you through therapy."
-PsychiatristAfter many months of therapy (and failed
medication) due to a bad diagnosis, I started to
become angry at my doctor. I was still doing the
therapy and was able to leave during my work hours.
So I started to get angry with him and I have a
tendency to react in a passive aggressive manner.
I never yelled, acted angry, raised my voice, etc.
I just used passive comments to get under his skin.
I don't know what kind of psychological warefare
I was involved in, and frankly I wasn't even aware
I was doing it.Anyways, eventually he decided that maybe he
didn't want to treat me (He was visibly unprofessional,
angry, and upset this day).Dissolution of Relationship
"No one in my life has made me feel more worthless and ineffectual."
-xxxx=Psychiatrist (comment he made to me in my final therapy session).Irony?
PS, I'm not proud of this whole ugly story.
Thanks for lending your ears.
John
> Initial Consultation
> "Don't worry this is a safe setting. No harm
> can be done to you through therapy."
> -Psychiatrist
>
> Dissolution of Relationship
> "No one in my life has made me feel more worthless and ineffectual."
> -xxxx
>
> There is a twist to this story.
Posted by trouble on March 10, 2002, at 20:44:47
In reply to Re: my last experience with therapy, posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 20:13:37
Posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 21:15:31
In reply to My God!! Why didn't he just hand you a rope?! (nm), posted by trouble on March 10, 2002, at 20:44:47
No it's ok. I just thought it was ironic
that he was the person that felt hurt
from the therapy.I felt better after that because it was a reality
check for me not to be too histrionic about
my situation. Clearly he was completely incompetent
and not doing his job all along after that statement
and I was to move on to a new doctor
(and a 2nd chance!).-John
Posted by trouble on March 10, 2002, at 21:32:11
In reply to Re: My God!! Why didn't he just hand you a rope?! » trouble, posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 21:15:31
Hmmm...Ironic, perhaps if you were reading a story about the situation, but when it happens to you, hmmm, I wonder if "traumatic" isn't too strong a word? It just seems so disappointing, not to mention counter-therapeutic to the nth degree, but I'm glad you rallied and moved on to the next one. Imagine how many people he stopped dead in their tracks.
Always seeing the bright side,
trouble
Posted by Anna Laura on March 13, 2002, at 6:57:54
In reply to Re: my last experience with therapy, posted by JohnX2 on March 10, 2002, at 20:13:37
>
> Sorry, I made it a cliff-hanger (how rude).
>
> This is an anecdote about my relationship with
> my first psychiatrist. He was really big into
> therapy. I was really looking more for medicines,
> but he felt that I should do therapy. I felt that
> if we did therapy, drudging up painful memories may destabilize
> me more and worsen my depression. This prompted
> the 1st quote from him.....
>
> "Don't worry this is a safe setting. No harm
> can be done to you through therapy."
> -Psychiatrist
>
> After many months of therapy (and failed
> medication) due to a bad diagnosis, I started to
> become angry at my doctor. I was still doing the
> therapy and was able to leave during my work hours.
> So I started to get angry with him and I have a
> tendency to react in a passive aggressive manner.
> I never yelled, acted angry, raised my voice, etc.
> I just used passive comments to get under his skin.
> I don't know what kind of psychological warefare
> I was involved in, and frankly I wasn't even aware
> I was doing it.
>
> Anyways, eventually he decided that maybe he
> didn't want to treat me (He was visibly unprofessional,
> angry, and upset this day).
>
> Dissolution of Relationship
> "No one in my life has made me feel more worthless and ineffectual."
> -xxxx=Psychiatrist (comment he made to me in my final therapy session).
>
> Irony?
>
> PS, I'm not proud of this whole ugly story.
>
> Thanks for lending your ears.
My first therapist told me something similar to "don't worry this is a safe place"
"the worst it's over, now you're safe with me" she added.
After a year and a half, i was getting worse since i had been misdiagnosed thus taking the wrong meds. I got worse month after month (no wonders: untreated major depression) and this lady would give me odd interpretations of my situation like: "You're committing a psichic suicide since you're rejecting my interpretations, don't you realize it?"
It wasn't a "resistance" reaction, i just felt she didn't have a clue about me, no wonders her interpretations didn't fit my case at all.
Sometimes she was really pathetic, using naive therapeutic tools. An anecdote:
She had fixed a therapeutic session at lunch time 'cause she was too busy that day;obviously i had to skip my meal to get there on time.
Towards the end of the session i came out with this phrase: "Oh god, i'm really hungry, i wish i had something to eat !". She stared at me in a quite mysterious way (notice: i really felt her actions were like "artificial" and deliberate, like there were part of the setting sort of) she walked away from the room and came back within minutes holding a glass of milk and a dish full of cookies.
She put them on the floor and told me: "Go ahead and eat: you need to nourish the baby"
"What baby? I don't need to feed no baby: i'm not pregnant ! " i told her, (i was quite alarmed at that point, wasn't hungry anymore: in fact i wanted to run away thinking she was crazy).
"You fool ! " she told me, glancing at me with an artificial motherly smile "I'm talking about your child within: your inner child is starving: you need to nourish her, and i'm going to help you to do that, as you can see".
After months of evident attempts of manipulation from her side, i decided i've had enough.(she was switching back and forth from sweet, corny attitudes and pathetic and fake attempts to be the "good mother" up to deliberate threats and sadist seemingly purposeless psichic rituals and threats ). That was the worst thing she could do as she was behaving just like my abusive mother did!
I got fed up with those attitudes at one point and decided to fight back with her "weapons": interpretations. I began to interpret her words and her behaviour: I remember talking for half an hour, staring at her library, catching a view of books titles in order to have more clues about her personality. Moreover i felt intimidated by her and not staring at her made me feel more comfortable sort of.
At one point i heard a sobbing sound: she was crying. I asked her what was the matter with her.
"You didn't show me any respect whatsoever!"
she cried.
"Well, you didn't show me any respect to begin with, so you shouldn't expect any respect in return" i told her.
"O.K.: i'm getting the hell out of this place!" i added. I walked away and went to the dressing room to grab my coat. She came after me, saying: "Don't leave, Anna! Wait a minute: i've gotta show you something"
She came back holding a small child by the hand. "You see, i'm a mother: i'm a sensitive person: i'm not the monster you're depicting in your descriptions". At that point i realized she was a very disturbed person and felt sorry for her.
That was the last time i saw her, and was my last trial with psychoanalisis for years to come.
Posted by johnX2 on March 13, 2002, at 8:17:55
In reply to my first experience with therapy, posted by Anna Laura on March 13, 2002, at 6:57:54
Wow,It's so nice to know that we are not alone.
So sorry you got screwed for so long!
And to be treated in such a deaming way.
Oh my God! Three cheers to you for surviving that!!!Quick questions: when you walked out that door,
how did you feel? Betrayed, depressed, a little
empathetic towards her, that she was pathetic,
relieved?I felt some sick pleasure when I left my 1st pdoc.
Honestly after a while I had figured out exactly what was going on with my doctor. When I was young I lived with a very manipulative father. When he made that statement I quoted as I left, I practically had flashbacks to statement my mother made when my parents got divorced. Apparently I had picked up on my father's little skills of psychological manipulation.
My story with your therapist has some parallells.
This guy who was treating me had no business in therapy. I would often want to talk about painful things that happened to my family growing up just to get past it. I did have some good counseling in the past, so after a while I new he was full of baloney. Anytime I brought something up he would remark something like "I know what you are saying". Always a canned answer. Seemed like things never were going anywhere. When I brought up medicines, he would always say "Its just a pill". And make me think I was crazy. I became nearly psychotic on many antidepressants and he never diagnosed me as bipolar. At group therapy he scoffed that "Everyone is bipolar these days." I also complained about a chronic facial neuralgia and headache (which bipolar medicine is a cure for) and he had a phd in neuralogy. When I asked about it he said "Well, you can go to an expensive headache clinic". Making me sound like I'm crazy.So whenever I would talk to him about problems and he would say something like "I hear what you are saying". I would calmy say something like "I know you sitting three feet from me." If he had no more insight to my comments beyond his canned staments, I would always come back with a simple canned response.
It blew up on daylight savings, I was really depressed over the weekend and forget to set forward my clock. When I got to his office I saw that I was really early and he got me into his office early (they forgot to change the clocks on their wall too). I told my pdoc "Wow, you actually got me in a few minutes early for a change". He blew up for me telling me I was 50 minutes late. I said I didn't know the time changed and they didn't even change they're own clocks. Jerk.
He really goofed up other peoples lifes too from
what I was told. Its too bad.I hope to do therapy again. I don't see any harm.
I know if to quit given my experience.Thanks for sharing your story. Sorry I am
rumbling on.How are you doing these days?
Do you think a lot of people waste too much
time doing therapy before getting medicine?Do you think a lot of time waste getting medicine
who really need therapy?-John
> >
> > Sorry, I made it a cliff-hanger (how rude).
> >
> > This is an anecdote about my relationship with
> > my first psychiatrist. He was really big into
> > therapy. I was really looking more for medicines,
> > but he felt that I should do therapy. I felt that
> > if we did therapy, drudging up painful memories may destabilize
> > me more and worsen my depression. This prompted
> > the 1st quote from him.....
> >
> > "Don't worry this is a safe setting. No harm
> > can be done to you through therapy."
> > -Psychiatrist
> >
> > After many months of therapy (and failed
> > medication) due to a bad diagnosis, I started to
> > become angry at my doctor. I was still doing the
> > therapy and was able to leave during my work hours.
> > So I started to get angry with him and I have a
> > tendency to react in a passive aggressive manner.
> > I never yelled, acted angry, raised my voice, etc.
> > I just used passive comments to get under his skin.
> > I don't know what kind of psychological warefare
> > I was involved in, and frankly I wasn't even aware
> > I was doing it.
> >
> > Anyways, eventually he decided that maybe he
> > didn't want to treat me (He was visibly unprofessional,
> > angry, and upset this day).
> >
> > Dissolution of Relationship
> > "No one in my life has made me feel more worthless and ineffectual."
> > -xxxx=Psychiatrist (comment he made to me in my final therapy session).
> >
> > Irony?
> >
> > PS, I'm not proud of this whole ugly story.
> >
> > Thanks for lending your ears.
>
>
>
> My first therapist told me something similar to "don't worry this is a safe place"
> "the worst it's over, now you're safe with me" she added.
> After a year and a half, i was getting worse since i had been misdiagnosed thus taking the wrong meds. I got worse month after month (no wonders: untreated major depression) and this lady would give me odd interpretations of my situation like: "You're committing a psichic suicide since you're rejecting my interpretations, don't you realize it?"
> It wasn't a "resistance" reaction, i just felt she didn't have a clue about me, no wonders her interpretations didn't fit my case at all.
> Sometimes she was really pathetic, using naive therapeutic tools. An anecdote:
> She had fixed a therapeutic session at lunch time 'cause she was too busy that day;obviously i had to skip my meal to get there on time.
> Towards the end of the session i came out with this phrase: "Oh god, i'm really hungry, i wish i had something to eat !". She stared at me in a quite mysterious way (notice: i really felt her actions were like "artificial" and deliberate, like there were part of the setting sort of) she walked away from the room and came back within minutes holding a glass of milk and a dish full of cookies.
> She put them on the floor and told me: "Go ahead and eat: you need to nourish the baby"
> "What baby? I don't need to feed no baby: i'm not pregnant ! " i told her, (i was quite alarmed at that point, wasn't hungry anymore: in fact i wanted to run away thinking she was crazy).
> "You fool ! " she told me, glancing at me with an artificial motherly smile "I'm talking about your child within: your inner child is starving: you need to nourish her, and i'm going to help you to do that, as you can see".
> After months of evident attempts of manipulation from her side, i decided i've had enough.(she was switching back and forth from sweet, corny attitudes and pathetic and fake attempts to be the "good mother" up to deliberate threats and sadist seemingly purposeless psichic rituals and threats ). That was the worst thing she could do as she was behaving just like my abusive mother did!
> I got fed up with those attitudes at one point and decided to fight back with her "weapons": interpretations. I began to interpret her words and her behaviour: I remember talking for half an hour, staring at her library, catching a view of books titles in order to have more clues about her personality. Moreover i felt intimidated by her and not staring at her made me feel more comfortable sort of.
> At one point i heard a sobbing sound: she was crying. I asked her what was the matter with her.
> "You didn't show me any respect whatsoever!"
> she cried.
> "Well, you didn't show me any respect to begin with, so you shouldn't expect any respect in return" i told her.
> "O.K.: i'm getting the hell out of this place!" i added. I walked away and went to the dressing room to grab my coat. She came after me, saying: "Don't leave, Anna! Wait a minute: i've gotta show you something"
> She came back holding a small child by the hand. "You see, i'm a mother: i'm a sensitive person: i'm not the monster you're depicting in your descriptions". At that point i realized she was a very disturbed person and felt sorry for her.
> That was the last time i saw her, and was my last trial with psychoanalisis for years to come.
Posted by Cecilia on March 14, 2002, at 1:23:26
In reply to Re: my first experience with therapy » Anna Laura, posted by johnX2 on March 13, 2002, at 8:17:55
I also had an experience with therapy that ended very badly and left me with overwhelming pain, feelings of abandonment and even more self hate. It`s definitely not true that therapy can`t make you worse! It was my own fault, there was an unending power struggle, recreating my relationship with my mother. It never got resolved, just got worse til it ended in a way that was extremely painful, though I guess there`s no good way for that kind of love-hate relationship to end. Cecilia
Posted by Anna Laura on March 14, 2002, at 2:16:51
In reply to Re: my first experience with therapy » Anna Laura, posted by johnX2 on March 13, 2002, at 8:17:55
>
> Wow,
>
> It's so nice to know that we are not alone.
> So sorry you got screwed for so long!
> And to be treated in such a deaming way.
> Oh my God! Three cheers to you for surviving that!!!
>
> Quick questions: when you walked out that door,
> how did you feel? Betrayed, depressed, a little
> empathetic towards her, that she was pathetic,
> relieved?
I felt some sick pleasure when I left my 1st pdoc.
Well, i must admit i felt some sick pleasure also. I felt rielieved 'cause i finally took that awful burden off my chest. I'm a passive-aggressive too when it comes to pychological abuse. The reason why i don't attack directly is that often psichic abuse is so subtle i often end up wondering wether my intuitions/gut feelings are right or not. I usually think i am at fault in the beginning, but later on, as things progress, i get more and more angry till i realize i've been actually abused and i explode.>
> How are you doing these days?I'm feeling o.k. i guess, nothing exceptional, just enough energy to get things going.
> Do you think a lot of people waste too much
> time doing therapy before getting medicine?I think meds are the first-line treatment. Then comes therapy, that can be a useful tool for many purposes. It could help you adjust and cope, manage your stress, and sometimes can be a part of the growing/maturing process also, even though i believe, as i said in one of my previous posts, that life itself could be a "setting" also.
This is the end of the thread.
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