![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 6 to 30 of 34. Go back in thread:
Posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:19:02
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> I'm still little. I tell people who know me well that I'm still ten years old in my heart - & I am. I still try to catch moths, will run nto the house with a new, pretty bug to show my sons, I'll still roll in the grass 'cause it feels good.
>
> Sad thing is when I was young, my fears & worries were very real to me. I had a very domineering father who punished the smallest mistakes we made. Being the only girl in a family of boys didn't get me any extra privileges either. My father thought girls didn't count. I honestly remember hiding a heavy metal vase in bed beside me at night to club him with if I needed to.
>
> I know now (he passed away in '88) he never really meant any harm. He just had a brutal, hard life & didn't know how to give love. But when I was small & he'd "prowl" around our beds at night, I though he meant to kill us - honestly! I found out years later, he was just checking to make sure we were properly covered & tucked in but he never showed love so I was terified of him. We all were.
>
> My Mom on the other hand, was so sweet & patient with us all. My father never held me or gave me hug or kiss, even when I was little but my Mom showered us with love. To her, us kids were the best thing in the world. I thank her all the time for it.
>
> Sorry to get so off-track from the original post about wanting to be a little kid again, but I'd never want to go back. I prefer my "childhood" now.
Posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 16:37:09
In reply to id like to be little again and again, posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:19:02
Posted by dreamer on January 3, 2002, at 22:21:15
In reply to wish i was little again, posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
Posted by shellir on January 3, 2002, at 23:00:46
In reply to id like to be little again and again, posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:17:33
> i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
>Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
Shelli
Posted by fallensparrow on January 3, 2002, at 23:24:07
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
I can't count the number of times Ive wished that I was young ... when my eyes still saw the light in the world, when my mind didn't twist everything around me into something desolate and solomn. When I saw the world as a happy place, and when I was happy in it ... unlike now when all my eyes see are darkness, hollow sadness in people's eyes, lies in their actions, and disappointment in all. To be young again, to be naive to the darkness all around us ... sorry to be so dark ... but I can't be anything else when I myself am dark ... I want the innocence back, I want the light back ...
sparrow
Posted by ELA on January 4, 2002, at 4:34:09
In reply to to be little again..., posted by fallensparrow on January 3, 2002, at 23:24:07
Exactly.
> I can't count the number of times Ive wished that I was young ... when my eyes still saw the light in the world, when my mind didn't twist everything around me into something desolate and solomn. When I saw the world as a happy place, and when I was happy in it ... unlike now when all my eyes see are darkness, hollow sadness in people's eyes, lies in their actions, and disappointment in all. To be young again, to be naive to the darkness all around us ... sorry to be so dark ... but I can't be anything else when I myself am dark ... I want the innocence back, I want the light back ...
> sparrow
Posted by ELA on January 4, 2002, at 4:41:57
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
I can identify with this. My father had a loveless childhood and to this day he can barely speak to his mother. My childhood was filled with the fear of not living up to his expectations of me and doing things that he wanted me to do whether I wanted them or not.
Only now at 20 years of age have I begun to get out and do things for myself and try and move on from all the painful memories I have. I look at the children I am teaching who seem not to have a care in the world. At 5 years old I would hope that they didn't as well! Maybe it's not that i want to be little again, I'd just like to escape into their world when things get bad for me.
> I'm still little. I tell people who know me well that I'm still ten years old in my heart - & I am. I still try to catch moths, will run nto the house with a new, pretty bug to show my sons, I'll still roll in the grass 'cause it feels good.
>
> Sad thing is when I was young, my fears & worries were very real to me. I had a very domineering father who punished the smallest mistakes we made. Being the only girl in a family of boys didn't get me any extra privileges either. My father thought girls didn't count. I honestly remember hiding a heavy metal vase in bed beside me at night to club him with if I needed to.
>
> I know now (he passed away in '88) he never really meant any harm. He just had a brutal, hard life & didn't know how to give love. But when I was small & he'd "prowl" around our beds at night, I though he meant to kill us - honestly! I found out years later, he was just checking to make sure we were properly covered & tucked in but he never showed love so I was terified of him. We all were.
>
> My Mom on the other hand, was so sweet & patient with us all. My father never held me or gave me hug or kiss, even when I was little but my Mom showered us with love. To her, us kids were the best thing in the world. I thank her all the time for it.
>
> Sorry to get so off-track from the original post about wanting to be a little kid again, but I'd never want to go back. I prefer my "childhood" now.
Posted by ELA on January 4, 2002, at 4:44:31
In reply to id like to be little again and again, posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:17:33
So am I Katey.> i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
Posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » Katey, posted by shellir on January 3, 2002, at 23:00:46
seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
> > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> >
>
> Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
>
> Shelli
Posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 12:17:58
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » shellir, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
> seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
>
Hi Katie,Not odd, actually very balanced. It's just I never heard a 16 year old who knew about empty nests and that people live to be 70 and beyond. I don't think I ever thought of those things when I was sixteen (almost seventeen) and I was a pretty intense kid. I get good clues from my clients and my neice about how kids think, but my neice is only fourteen so I don't know alot about sixteen year olds, yet. :-)
Shelli
> > > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> > >
> >
> > Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
> >
> > Shelli
Posted by mair on January 4, 2002, at 13:18:06
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » shellir, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
> Katey - I wish I could get you together with my 16 year old son. I think he could benefit alot from your influence. He's a great kid but I wish he had a quarter of your insight and thoughtfulness.
Mair
Posted by IsoM on January 4, 2002, at 13:59:46
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » shellir, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
Katie, my youngest is 19, almost 20 & he sounds like you. My oldest is 26 & both have had bad bouts with depression. Both have been hospitalised fr being suicidal too.
I think any one who's had real depression problems when young gains a maturity that easy-going kids don't have. It's from experiencing what it's like that gives them insight.
My 19 yr old, Tyrel, says that young people are way too much in a hurry to grow up & grown up life is full of heavy responsibilities & hardships - not a freedom from following orders like many think.
One time, jokingly, he said he can't wait till he grows old & decrepit. Then he can wear tacky jogging suits, use a cane, & wave it at young kids & shout "you young'ns git off my lawn before I whump ya a good one!" He was only kidding of course, he knows old age isn't great either. But it was a comment on trying to find enjoyment at whatever stage of life we're at without always wishing we were another age.
You'd both probably get along very well.
> seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
>
>
> > > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> > >
> >
> > Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
> >
> > Shelli
Posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 20:47:18
In reply to for Katey » Katey, posted by IsoM on January 4, 2002, at 13:59:46
awwwwwwwww thank you :-) i was one of those kids who hung on for dearlife to childhood, and spent a good chunk of that in books reading about 'perfect childhoods'. im also the youngest/only child, and my parents are half empty nesters. and ive always loved the poem 'when i am an old lady i shall wear purple'. you show it to your son sometime if you can find it, i'm sure he would get quite a kick out of it. so i suppose that explains most of my quirks. im flattered that someone actually considers me a good influence, most people see me as grumpy. and as far as forteen year olds, they dont know nothin' yet :-)
out of curiosity, what kind of clients do you have? if you dont mind my asking, of course.
> Katie, my youngest is 19, almost 20 & he sounds like you. My oldest is 26 & both have had bad bouts with depression. Both have been hospitalised fr being suicidal too.
>
> I think any one who's had real depression problems when young gains a maturity that easy-going kids don't have. It's from experiencing what it's like that gives them insight.
>
> My 19 yr old, Tyrel, says that young people are way too much in a hurry to grow up & grown up life is full of heavy responsibilities & hardships - not a freedom from following orders like many think.
>
> One time, jokingly, he said he can't wait till he grows old & decrepit. Then he can wear tacky jogging suits, use a cane, & wave it at young kids & shout "you young'ns git off my lawn before I whump ya a good one!" He was only kidding of course, he knows old age isn't great either. But it was a comment on trying to find enjoyment at whatever stage of life we're at without always wishing we were another age.
>
> You'd both probably get along very well.
>
>
> > seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
> >
> >
> > > > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> > > >
> > >
> > > Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
> > >
> > > Shelli
Posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 21:15:23
In reply to shellir, mair, IsoM, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 20:47:18
> awwwwwwwww thank you :-) i was one of those kids who hung on for dearlife to childhood, and spent a good chunk of that in books reading about 'perfect childhoods'. im also the youngest/only child, and my parents are half empty nesters. and ive always loved the poem 'when i am an old lady i shall wear purple'. you show it to your son sometime if you can find it, i'm sure he would get quite a kick out of it. so i suppose that explains most of my quirks. im flattered that someone actually considers me a good influence, most people see me as grumpy. and as far as forteen year olds, they dont know nothin' yet :-)
>
> out of curiosity, what kind of clients do you have? if you dont mind my asking, of course.
>Katie,
you are a wonderful trip (do your parents have sayings from the 70s, like trip < g >?)
I am a portrait photographer and photograph a lot of kids of all ages--it's sort of my specialty.
Shelli
Posted by Katey on January 5, 2002, at 12:12:49
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » Katey, posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 21:15:23
not so much from the seventies, more from the sixties, eighties (when my sibs were teenagers) and they make fun of the current sayings.
photography is definately an acceptable occupation, my dad used to do it in his spare time, and i grew up in a dark room, which i miss terribly.
and i have to return the compliment, youre a wonderful trip as well.
> > awwwwwwwww thank you :-) i was one of those kids who hung on for dearlife to childhood, and spent a good chunk of that in books reading about 'perfect childhoods'. im also the youngest/only child, and my parents are half empty nesters. and ive always loved the poem 'when i am an old lady i shall wear purple'. you show it to your son sometime if you can find it, i'm sure he would get quite a kick out of it. so i suppose that explains most of my quirks. im flattered that someone actually considers me a good influence, most people see me as grumpy. and as far as forteen year olds, they dont know nothin' yet :-)
> >
> > out of curiosity, what kind of clients do you have? if you dont mind my asking, of course.
> >
>
> Katie,
>
> you are a wonderful trip (do your parents have sayings from the 70s, like trip < g >?)
>
> I am a portrait photographer and photograph a lot of kids of all ages--it's sort of my specialty.
>
> Shelli
Posted by shellir on January 5, 2002, at 22:39:48
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » shellir, posted by Katey on January 5, 2002, at 12:12:49
> not so much from the seventies, more from the sixties, eighties (when my sibs were teenagers) and they make fun of the current sayings.
>
> photography is definately an acceptable occupation, my dad used to do it in his spare time, and i grew up in a dark room, which i miss terribly.any time you're in the washington, d.c. area, you can come and work in my darkroom. I would love to be able to spend no time in the darkroom, but all my portraits are black & white, so no way.
This is a site for the best photographs from the washington post on their site. I think the presentation is awesome; a few of the pictures are also awesome.
www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/flash/bop/2001/bop.htm
shelli
Posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 11:20:22
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » Katey, posted by shellir on January 5, 2002, at 22:39:48
that sounds wonderful, i think i like the dark room better than the studio. i guess i'm a technical dork like that. now if we could just find someone to develop the negatives :-)
at anyrate, i'm off to go have a look at that site, which looks quite fun.
> > not so much from the seventies, more from the sixties, eighties (when my sibs were teenagers) and they make fun of the current sayings.
> >
> > photography is definately an acceptable occupation, my dad used to do it in his spare time, and i grew up in a dark room, which i miss terribly.
>
> any time you're in the washington, d.c. area, you can come and work in my darkroom. I would love to be able to spend no time in the darkroom, but all my portraits are black & white, so no way.
>
> This is a site for the best photographs from the washington post on their site. I think the presentation is awesome; a few of the pictures are also awesome.
>
> www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/flash/bop/2001/bop.htm
>
> shelli
Posted by Mair on January 6, 2002, at 17:31:56
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » shellir, posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 11:20:22
Katey
Not to intrude, but how much younger are you than your siblings. Are you all of the same parents or are you a blended family.Mair (just really curious)
Posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 20:07:15
In reply to Katey, a question, posted by Mair on January 6, 2002, at 17:31:56
not intrusive what so ever. we're a partially blended family. my siblings are wholes to eachother, halves to me. their from my moms first marriage. the guy i still call daddy is my actual father and still resides under the same roof. my brother is 12 years older than i am, and my sister is 14 years older than i am. it was an interesting early childhood, but they both moved out when i was seven, so im mostly an only child.
> Katey
> Not to intrude, but how much younger are you than your siblings. Are you all of the same parents or are you a blended family.
>
> Mair (just really curious)
Posted by fi on January 7, 2002, at 11:56:24
In reply to wish i was little again, posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
I havent read all the other posts, so apologies if repeating.
Only to say that its not that straightforward- the worries that seem minor to us can seem catastrophic to a child. And they have less understanding of the world, and even less control over what happens to them. So although they seem to be having a protected and easy time to us, as if we had only their concerns we would be ecstatic, that's not how they are experiencing it. As you say, they can think its the end of the world and consequently react in a way we only would to things *we* thought were the end of the world.
The ideal would be to have only their worries at our age!
I suppose another point to this will be the comparison- I can see that it is particularly likely someone will be wistful if they had a happy childhood and are now miserable.
And you have far too much on your plate just at the moment- any way of giving yourself a lighter load would be worth a try. If possible.
Fi
Posted by ELA on January 7, 2002, at 14:54:34
In reply to Re: wish i was little again » ELA, posted by fi on January 7, 2002, at 11:56:24
> The ideal would be to have only their worries at our age!
The above comment from you is probably what I was trying to get at! The kids in my classes do have "worries" a lot but sometimes I feel like saying "your barbie doll might be older than hers but at least you don't have student loans, an overdraft, a degree and illness to worry about all at once!" Bless them, they're my salvation at the mo as I can get into their world in the classroom and shut out everything else. For a while anyway.Emma.
Posted by Mair on January 7, 2002, at 20:32:40
In reply to Re: Katey, a question » Mair, posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 20:07:15
> " the guy i still call daddy is my actual father and still resides under the same roof. "
>
>
> Sorry to continue to intrude but I couldn't let that statement slide by. Are your parents together? How are they about your depression? How long have you been fighting this?Mair
Posted by Katey on January 7, 2002, at 21:55:10
In reply to Re: Katey, a question » Katey, posted by Mair on January 7, 2002, at 20:32:40
i dont mind the intrusion. my parents are happily together. im a daddys girl, thus the comment. if you mean 'this' as depression, my first memory of it was right before xmas when i was ten. i didnt tell anyone about it, just sat in my room, cried, and wrote. i was actually confined to my room because i was supposed to be cleaning it. as far as the ADD goes....they just figured it out less than a month ago.
how they react to it...its kind of hard to tell. im like my dad and extremely independant, i tend to make my own dr's appts and generally pay the copay. last fall when i decided that i needed to try and tackle this thing head on, i made my own appointment, and didnt tell my parents. i left the copy of the record for the insurance company on the counter. they werent too happy with me. i usually pay for most of my meds too.
my dad accepts things, and kind of leaves it alone, unless the subject is brought up. once my mother picks up something, she doesnt drop it until something even bigger happens. so ive got her on my back until june when my second niece/nephew is born. she quizzes me on my meds, tells me what she thinks i should do, gets mad at me because i 'frustrate her', which i can understand, i just wish she would make an attempt to understand me. sometimes it takes me an hour to get out of bed because i have to wake myself up, and then convince myself that i should get up, and then try and find the energy to do it. this doesnt make her very happy unless i happen to wake up around 5am.
i realize that in the real world, time doesnt stop for me, but a little understanding would be nice. when i was on effexor and just prozac, my appetite dropped off, so everynite she would ask me if i was going to eat- before or after work, and she would offer to make something. she blew up when i told her that some of my jeans were too big, especially the ones that we bought a couple months ago. my father says its her way of caring.
when my mom and i got at eachothers throats, which happens once every couple of months, my father usually has to break it up and make peace with everyone. that tends to be how big things get done in this house when it comes to my 'illness' that neither of them ever talks about to any of their friends.
my siblings dont really even know beyond that i'm on prozac and 'it makes me more sociable'. i suppose it would be different if we were all living in the same state. my brothers in Des Moines, my sisters in St. Paul.
my parents are also highly skeptical, when i told my mom that the pdoc thought i was probably ADD, she said 'i dont believe you' straight to my face. my father didnt really agree with it either, simply because i wasnt being obnoxious and bouncing off the walls.
i suppose i'm making them sound like arch villains, which isnt completely true. they try to be supportive of me, and theyve been more lax about rules- they let me stay out late because their just happy that i'm going out, instead of hiding in my lair alone. they dont push the grades so much because they know how this semester was for me. my mom was the one that got me off effexor because i didnt have anything like energy to do it- i was a walking zombie. my dads generally been helpful with getting pre-authorizations from insurance.
i do think that sometimes they wish i was had leukemia, or something normal, physical, and visible because then it wouldnt be so shameful to talk about it.
wow, i talked a lot more than i thought i would, however dear Mair, you opened the can of worms :-)
> > " the guy i still call daddy is my actual father and still resides under the same roof. "
> >
> >
> > Sorry to continue to intrude but I couldn't let that statement slide by. Are your parents together? How are they about your depression? How long have you been fighting this?
>
> Mair
Posted by Mair on January 9, 2002, at 16:25:25
In reply to Re: Katey, a question » Mair, posted by Katey on January 7, 2002, at 21:55:10
>
"i tend to make my own dr's appts and generally pay the copay. last fall when i decided that i needed to try and tackle this thing head on, i made my own appointment, and didnt tell my parents. i left the copy of the record for the insurance company on the counter. they werent too happy with me. i usually pay for most of my meds too."That's really pretty impressive, but maybe your parents actually wished you needed them more. It's great that you take this responsibility on but it may contribute to a feeling on their part that there's nothing they can do for you.
>
"gets mad at me because i 'frustrate her', which i can understand,"We all frustrate the hell out of ourselves, so I guess it's understandable that we frustrate others too.
>
>" i realize that in the real world, time doesnt stop for me, but a little understanding would be nice. when i was on effexor and just prozac, my appetite dropped off, so everynite she would ask me if i was going to eat- before or after work, and she would offer to make something. she blew up when i told her that some of my jeans were too big, especially the ones that we bought a couple months ago. my father says its her way of caring."Your Dad may be right. Parents live in active fear that their daughters will be anorexic and mothers frequently try to counteract that feeling of powerlessness with food.
>
> " that tends to be how big things get done in this house when it comes to my 'illness' that neither of them ever talks about to any of their friends."I'm not one to talk here since I've been very tight-lipped about my own illness, but I think this is a big mistake. When my son was 9 he developed some terrible anxieties. It took my husband and I much too long to pick up on it and realize that this wasn't just a stage he'd outgrow. We eventually got him some very effective therapy. My husband didn't want to tell any of our friends about it and I went along with this but felt later that this was a huge mistake for me. I really needed someone other than my husband to help me process this and worry about my son was probably one of many triggers for my own depression.
>
>
>" my parents are also highly skeptical, when i told my mom that the pdoc thought i was probably ADD, she said 'i dont believe you' straight to my face. my father didnt really agree with it either, simply because i wasnt being obnoxious and bouncing off the walls."I think we could all use alot of educating about ADD since it's so closely identified with young uncontrollable boys. Maybe you should have your parents come to a session with your pdoc so he could explain it to them.
> "i do think that sometimes they wish i was had leukemia, or something normal, physical, and visible because then it wouldnt be so shameful to talk about it."
I can absolutely guarantee to you that this isn't the case. Nothing is more frightening to parents than cancer (well maybe teen auto crashes too). It has occurred to me though that depression is like having cancer only you can't tell anyone. It's every bit as life threatening, and you need that same level of support, but can't seem to ask for it. Your parents may feel frustrated that they have no one to look for to support them (much less you). It's too bad that they haven't found a way to reach out for that support.
>
Do you have friends who help you out with this? Are you in therapy with your pdoc, or do you have a therapist at all?Mair (continuing to intrude)
Posted by Katey on January 9, 2002, at 21:22:00
In reply to Re: Katey, a question, posted by Mair on January 9, 2002, at 16:25:25
> >
> "i tend to make my own dr's appts and generally pay the copay. last fall when i decided that i needed to try and tackle this thing head on, i made my own appointment, and didnt tell my parents. i left the copy of the record for the insurance company on the counter. they werent too happy with me. i usually pay for most of my meds too."
>
> That's really pretty impressive, but maybe your parents actually wished you needed them more. It's great that you take this responsibility on but it may contribute to a feeling on their part that there's nothing they can do for you.
> >
the reason i make my own appointments is because i have such a busy schedule now with work and school and everything else under the sun. my parents couldnt keep up if they tried. the reason i generally dont tell them is because i really dont like confrontation, especially with them. one of the worst nights i can remember was the night they ousted the truth from me about being depressed....getting there through me crying three times, threats, demands, and commands. i think after that night i have a pretty good idea what it must have felt like to be either a woman in salem on trial for witch craft, or any other accused who never had a trial by jury. if that makes any sense?> "gets mad at me because i 'frustrate her', which i can understand,"
>
> We all frustrate the hell out of ourselves, so I guess it's understandable that we frustrate others too.yup. only problem is that when she gets frustrated, i get frustrated, she yells, i leave, communication breaks down and nothing happens until my father comes home. my father has a phrase 'ein hous, ein frau' - from his mother who spoke fluent german, it means 'one house, one woman'
> >
> >" i realize that in the real world, time doesnt stop for me, but a little understanding would be nice. when i was on effexor and just prozac, my appetite dropped off, so everynite she would ask me if i was going to eat- before or after work, and she would offer to make something. she blew up when i told her that some of my jeans were too big, especially the ones that we bought a couple months ago. my father says its her way of caring."
>
> Your Dad may be right. Parents live in active fear that their daughters will be anorexic and mothers frequently try to counteract that feeling of powerlessness with food.i understand that, especially with all the media hype, it just doesnt help when im in a bad mood and she jumps on me, and once she jumps on me, she doesnt stop.
> >
> > " that tends to be how big things get done in this house when it comes to my 'illness' that neither of them ever talks about to any of their friends."
>
> I'm not one to talk here since I've been very tight-lipped about my own illness, but I think this is a big mistake. When my son was 9 he developed some terrible anxieties. It took my husband and I much too long to pick up on it and realize that this wasn't just a stage he'd outgrow. We eventually got him some very effective therapy. My husband didn't want to tell any of our friends about it and I went along with this but felt later that this was a huge mistake for me. I really needed someone other than my husband to help me process this and worry about my son was probably one of many triggers for my own depression.
> >
> >
> >" my parents are also highly skeptical, when i told my mom that the pdoc thought i was probably ADD, she said 'i dont believe you' straight to my face. my father didnt really agree with it either, simply because i wasnt being obnoxious and bouncing off the walls."
>
> I think we could all use alot of educating about ADD since it's so closely identified with young uncontrollable boys. Maybe you should have your parents come to a session with your pdoc so he could explain it to them.funny you should mention that. i asked my mother why she thought i wasnt ADD, because i wasnt hyper and obnoxious and bouncing off the walls? she said no, i asked her why then and she said 'because your not hyper and bouncing off the walls' i hadnt considered that idea. i thought about maybe finding some decent articles and printing them off tho.
>
> > "i do think that sometimes they wish i was had leukemia, or something normal, physical, and visible because then it wouldnt be so shameful to talk about it."
>
> I can absolutely guarantee to you that this isn't the case. Nothing is more frightening to parents than cancer (well maybe teen auto crashes too). It has occurred to me though that depression is like having cancer only you can't tell anyone. It's every bit as life threatening, and you need that same level of support, but can't seem to ask for it. Your parents may feel frustrated that they have no one to look for to support them (much less you). It's too bad that they haven't found a way to reach out for that support.
> >
> Do you have friends who help you out with this? Are you in therapy with your pdoc, or do you have a therapist at all?i have friends who i whine too when things arent good. i have friends who have ingenous ways of getting me undepresed (they know which anger buttons to push and exactly how to push them), and i have friends who let me distract myself by dealing with their problems. i'm not really in therapy with my pdoc, just what seems to be monthly visits for med adjustments. the therapist i had i fired ASAP because he was an idiot and made a lot of mistakes in the three weeks i saw him. hes my reason for my goal of getting above needing a therapist. personally Mair, i wish you were my therapist, youve done a better job in the last couple posts than he did in three weeks.
>
>
Katey (completely willing to answer any questions)
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