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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Katey on December 7, 2001, at 23:06:08
for those of you who experience it, and know that it is dissociation, what does it feel/seem like? i hear the term a lot, but i dont really understand what it really is. educate me.
Posted by dreamer on December 7, 2001, at 23:29:38
In reply to dissociation, posted by Katey on December 7, 2001, at 23:06:08
> for those of you who experience it, and know that it is dissociation, what does it feel/seem like? i hear the term a lot, but i dont really understand what it really is. educate me.
mmmmm....Early Saturday mourning insomnia but relatively sane so.....
Difficult ....I'm not really sure either but what I can say is when I get a panic attack it's as if I've landed back into my body all the protective filters are removed from reality and reality hits quick and hard , I no longer feel hidden , detached.
Suppose I am dissociated and happy there.
Another thing is when I look in the mirror I don't see me.dxxxxxx
Posted by judy1 on December 8, 2001, at 4:13:31
In reply to Re: dissociation, posted by dreamer on December 7, 2001, at 23:29:38
It depends to what degree, I've felt detached from my body like I'm floating above it, sometimes going to a pleasant place in my mind, and at the most extreme leave to the point of losing time- up to days which is terrifying and is the most common time when I self-injure. I asked my therp how she thinks I appear to others, and she suspects probably close to my true personality (but perhaps she's trying to reassure me). I am diagnosed with DD-NOS, 1 step below DID, and have a severe case so maybe my description will differ. Take care- judy
Posted by akc on December 8, 2001, at 8:23:42
In reply to dissociation, posted by Katey on December 7, 2001, at 23:06:08
One simple way to first think of it is to think of a long drive you might have recently taken alone. Did you have a stretch of time that you just seemed to have lost? That is a form of dissociation. This is one that happens with many.
I do think you will find that the answers really will vary. For me, I get lost in what I am doing (cutting) to the exclusion of what I am feeling. The act helps me separate from my feelings. That is one of the reasons this violent act is so appealing to me -- it brings me relief from my feelings.
If I understand dissociation at all, that is what is at the heart of it -- it is our minds way of helping us get away from something we are unable to process -- usually learned as a kid in a violent setting, we are being so overwhelmed with feelings that are mind has learned a mechanism to take a break until it is safe again. In its most severe form, you do not have any recollections at all. Or you may aware of being present, but not much more.
It can be scary, especially if you don't know what is happening or why.
akc
Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2001, at 8:33:38
In reply to dissociation, posted by Katey on December 7, 2001, at 23:06:08
I rather suspect that it is different for everyone. In my case it is profound disconnection. I'm sure this will be long but here goes.
When I am threatened by emotions I just mentally leave. Often I will feel an odd whooshing feeling like I am zooming backwards away from everything at a high rate of speed, sometimes I will feel odd or dizzy, sometimes I will have an involuntary nap, and sometimes I just have a subtle spaced out feeling and not even know I'm doing it.
At this point, I can observe what is going on around me, but it really seems to be distant, dreamlike, and as if it has nothing at all to do with me. I can't observe my feelings at all. Usually the whooshing occurred before I even had a chance to figure out what emotions I was feeling, so I'm not sure what I'm defending against. At this point my emotional self and my thinking self are even more estranged than usual, and I have no idea what my feelings are or what my emotional thoughts and perceptions are. I haven't stopped feeling the emotions. I still sometimes act based on the emotions. But I have no conscious awareness of what the emotions are or why they are. I have at least learned to often but not always realize that it is happening.
To others at this time I seem very calm but sort of out of it. They might have to repeat things to me or might have trouble getting my attention. I'm not elsewhere, I'm just very blank.
I have no control over the process, but I learned how to do it in order to function when I was a suicidal and out of control adolescent. It sometimes comes in handy.
On a lesser level, I am often quite disconnected from my emotional self and am constantly confused by the things "she" causes me to feel or do.
Thanks for asking. I'm really trying to figure this out myself and breaking it down into its smallest parts helps me do this.
Posted by Katey on December 8, 2001, at 8:45:38
In reply to Re: dissociation » Katey, posted by Dinah on December 8, 2001, at 8:33:38
i guess the reason i was wondering is because when im in a very noisy situation and im feeling less than chipper, all of a sudden everything seems very surreal to me. the noise is less and its going on around me, but it seems like theres a two foot bubble of foam around me so that its all dulled, sort of like the background noise you hear in a movie when the charactors are at a restaurant. the other thing i get 'are you all right?' questions about is when i start staring at a spot on the floor and its like i retreat into myself, usually i sort of stop thinking and its almost like i stop existing. never been able to figure out what its all about.
Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2001, at 8:47:18
In reply to dissociation, posted by Katey on December 7, 2001, at 23:06:08
I also have a way of processing memories that causes me to feel disconnected. I break down every experience into its component parts. The picture memory of the actual event is filed haphazardly away and not in chronological order so I have a poor sense of time as a continuum.
The emotions associated with the memory are stripped off and dumped in the large containers of "anger" or "sadness" or "shame" so that they can spill out unexpectedly when the "anger" or "sadness" or "shame" door gets opened. Also, this causes me to recount past events without feeling or expressing any of the emotions associated with them.
The sense of who I am at the time of the remembered event is separated from the both the event & the emotion and filed in such a way that I can only access it when I am in a similar mood state. This causes me to have a very poor sense of who I am.
Posted by JohnDoenut on December 11, 2001, at 11:48:48
In reply to dissociation, posted by Katey on December 7, 2001, at 23:06:08
One time I did mushrooms I felt dissociated from my body. I looked at my arms but they didnt seem to be mine. I almost wanted to hurt it or something to know that it was mine and that I could feel it. But I didnt. I just rode it out and waited till it wore off and I was back to me and came back into my body so to speak.
I dont do shrooms anymore (or ever want to try acid) as a result of this. It wasnt pleasant.JohnD
> for those of you who experience it, and know that it is dissociation, what does it feel/seem like? i hear the term a lot, but i dont really understand what it really is. educate me.
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