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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 18:04:03
Much to my amazement I have still not had a drink. I have no idea what the future of that is for me I don’t think that far. I just sort of enjoy each day of not having a drink even though the benefits are not yet clear to me. I guess I enjoy it on a couple of levels; first as a feeling of accomplishment and second because I have removed a variable in determining how I really feel that day. I can have more confidence in what I am doing to be well if I have not messed up the day by drinking the previous night.
But I am still waiting for that big reward that i feel I am due for this sacrifice on my part.
Posted by susan C on October 17, 2001, at 18:31:54
In reply to Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 18:04:03
How a bout a similar experience with chocolate, does that count...I actually forgot I had chocolate in the house...I actually threw away peanut m and ms I found that were a year old and had been put in a jar with mint chewing gum, so they tasted like minty gummy peanut m and ms...I threw them all away.
How about losing weight because you aren't consuming 'empty' calories?
How about Carrot Juice? I just gave away my juicer, it was over 25 years old and havent used it in just about as long, but now there is a store that sells it and i dont have to clean up for myself...
THey call this 'babble' for a reason...
Seriously, Congrats Greg.
Mouse meandering through Messages
susan C> Much to my amazement I have still not had a drink. I have no idea what the future of that is for me I don’t think that far. I just sort of enjoy each day of not having a drink even though the benefits are not yet clear to me. I guess I enjoy it on a couple of levels; first as a feeling of accomplishment and second because I have removed a variable in determining how I really feel that day. I can have more confidence in what I am doing to be well if I have not messed up the day by drinking the previous night.
> But I am still waiting for that big reward that i feel I am due for this sacrifice on my part.
Posted by galtin on October 17, 2001, at 18:43:34
In reply to Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 18:04:03
But I am still waiting for that big reward that i feel I am due for this sacrifice on my part.
Greg,
You aren't (due a big reward), and this is a great time to practice having no expectations of any sort for swearing off a self-destructive addiction.
galtin
Posted by dreamer on October 17, 2001, at 19:48:50
In reply to Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 18:04:03
Posted by Gracie2 on October 17, 2001, at 22:43:15
In reply to Re: Where's the carrot??, posted by galtin on October 17, 2001, at 18:43:34
Keep it up, my man. Like AA says, one day at a time. Every day that you don't drink, even if you did nothing else at all that day, you should consider it a major accomplishment. Supposedly it takes three weeks to make or break a habit and after that, you should no longer have to "force" yourself to not drink. Even though you can't see it, your body is healing itself and releasing the toxins built up in your system, so you won't feel better immediately. But it will come - more energy, more stamina, and a healthier frame of mind. Heavy drinking always depressed me; I felt that I drank because I was depressed, when the truth was that I was depressed because I drank. Hang in there, and the rewards will come.
Shaka-
Gracie
Posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 23:56:02
In reply to Re: Where's the carrot??, posted by Gracie2 on October 17, 2001, at 22:43:15
Thanks Gracie, Susan and others. I am merely fishing for encouragement, compliments, and other goodies. Not so deep down, I do know that I am doing something that is worthwhile, not because of what anyone else thinks, but because I want it that way for me.
Gracie - are you still depressed to any degree or did that disappear when you stopped drinking? I suspect that my depression was not caused by drinking, but I am sure that the episodes were made more severe and lasted longer because of it.
I have problems with anxiety as well, in fact that started before I remember being depressed. I always thought the alcohol eased the anxiety or I told myself that as an excuse. I have to say that I am noticing a general lowered level of anxiety the past week or two. If I am not mistaken, it's six weeks tomorrow without a drink.
Anyway - thanks for filling my prescription for encouragement.Greg
Posted by dreamer on October 18, 2001, at 7:03:44
In reply to Re: Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 23:56:02
Hi Greg,
We all are different but I'd like to add that after 2.5 years of sobriety I drank heavily for one night.
I thought that if I would start again I'd continue down the slippery slope and addiction would have to be dealt with all over again.
I haven't drank since.....just shows that the right meds are needed. Also the fear of taking up alchohol binging has gone I can drink or not... with correct meds you find that alcohol is no great shakes.dreamer
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 8:12:40
In reply to Re: Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 23:56:02
It's a good question, Greg. I think it's wonderful that you've gone this long. I'm not certain what the answer is. Sounds like the lessening of anxiety may be one. Health, as Dreamer said. Clarity of mind, maybe.
I am fairly sure that the reason I continue to drink is related to anxiety and am determined to discuss it with pdoc next time. As Dreamer says, I am hopeful the right meds will help me - cocktail just isn't quite there, yet, maybe, though it is so much better.
But, really, many kudos to you for your self-restraint. I know when I go through periods of not drinking, or drinking really, really minimally, I feel much more confident about myself.
Please keep us posted. Good luck.
- K.
Posted by Gracie2 on October 18, 2001, at 14:53:53
In reply to Re: Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 23:56:02
Greg-
No, I still have some emotional problems that I am dealing with, and I need medication to keep myself on a (somewhat) even keel. But I am SO much more better than I used to be. Sometimes I could drink responsibly and at other times I just went wild (this is before I was diagnosed and began treatment for bi-polar illness). I was hospitalized twice as suicidal while I was drinking, once for an overdose that sent me into convulsions, and once when I called 911 at 4:00am to ask for the number to a suicide hotline. I was stupidly explaining to her the importance of shooting yourself in the head with a small-caliber bullet like a .22 that would ricochet around inside the skull instead of leaving a terrible mess in the room. The next thing I knew, the cops were pounding at the door. "Thanks a lot!" I yelled at the operator. So, you know, they took me away, and I was committed. At least they didn't put me in a strait-jacket or anything.When I think of that now, a year later, I can still hardly believe that I was capable of doing such a thing, even if I was manic and drunk. It's understandably shameful to me and I would not be capable of doing that now. Although I would never intentionally hurt anyone else, I was certainly self-destructive. When I quit drinking heavily (though I am still a "social drinker") and started taking medication, that part of me went away. I think that not drinking has just as much to do with it as the medication.
Best wishes on your journey in the land of sobriety. It only gets better as you go along.
-Gracie
Posted by paxvox on October 18, 2001, at 16:07:05
In reply to Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 18:04:03
G-Man,
I stopped drinking 7/3/00 after being a farily regular drinker for the previous 20+ years. There are rewards, trust me! Yes, there is accomplishment, every day is its own reward. How much more clearly I see life when I am not numbed by alcohol. True, there will be times where you may wish to savor a beer or two, that's going to happen. But when you resist, and life goes on just as well, you have a little victory right there! I also went from 195 to 160 pounds (I'm 6'1"). That was pretty interesting in its own right! Wellbutrin may have both a)helped me to stop having the urge to drink and b) helping me lose weight. There are a lot of calories in beer!
If this is what you want to do, quit drinking, hang in there, I assure you, the good feelings will come. Mark your progress: 1 month 6 months a year etc....celebrate your achievments be proud at your success! Good luck! You can do it.PAX
still on the wagon
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