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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by inthegloaming on November 15, 2006, at 20:12:09
Hey Babble-ites (Babblers?),
Siigh.
Just need to type this out. Bear with me.
So here's the story. I'm 22. I moved across the country for work and have lived here on the west coast for about 2 months. Own apartment, own bills, own cat, own problems.About a week or so into my stint here, I met an amazing girl. For the past 2 months, we've basically been hanging out every day, both of us (her more so than me) on the fence about crossing the "friends" line. She just got out of a relationship and her life is kind of upside down right now though she has full parental support right here. She's not sure she wants to "go there" with me, yet or at all. I like her a ton, etc.
But anyway, one day I was super nervous and scared and sad and I broke down on her. I felt comfortable enough to do so, to pull out all I'd been feeling. She was great with me. Said she wanted to see all of me, even the bad parts.
Problem is, she has a crazy ex and that ex made her terrified of people in emotional turmoil the way I was. She says it isn't my fault, it's just a trigger for her. Even though she said she was proud of me for opening up, it was scary for her.
After the whole thing happened, I began to get really nervous, harking back to my panic attack days. I've been crying a lot for the past 3 days and calling my parents and feeling home-sick (something I rarely get) and nostalgic for childhood. It's hard for me to stay in the apartment; it feels so small, smaller still with the crazy kitten I just adopted. I think I'm scapegoating the kitten a little, too, making her responsible for my nervousness.
I just want to be happy and feel at home here and I was and then everything fell apart, mostly I think because I feel like I don't have a support system (yet) because of how my friend reacted. I don't want to put the blame on her so I think I've channeled it into the apartment and my kitten, the two things that have made me feel good and safe and loved.
Urg, and I was doing so well, too! It's like when you're on a ladder and all you can see is the next rung in front of you and then you look DOWN and see how far up you are and suddenly get this rush of vertigo.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
--g.
Posted by SatinDoll on November 15, 2006, at 20:12:10
In reply to Overwhelmed and far from home, posted by inthegloaming on November 12, 2006, at 21:12:43
Hi --g, glad to meet ya.
I think I would feel like you did. It is soooo scarey to open up with someone to show them your most vunerable side, and then they sort of reject you in a way by saying it is too much for them to hear. I would give her another chance though, she does seem nice and might come around for you.
I think it must very scary to be so young and live away from everything you know. Are you able to socialize with anyone at work? Keep hugging your kitty, and try to get back into the ring of life again. Good luck!
Posted by corafree on November 17, 2006, at 19:59:00
In reply to Re: Overwhelmed and far from home, posted by SatinDoll on November 14, 2006, at 18:18:27
Hi inthegloaming ...
I think I know how you feel, in a strange place, no real friends, no family love there. You took a big leap by moving there on your own. You must give yourself credit for that strength. Your strength will help you to move in whatever direction feels right.
Ya' know, it can take a long time to 'feel out' your surroundings. Feels like people in general have changed in recent yrs .. so cautious now.
Here is it 'holiday time', and what would you usually be doing if you were 'where you came from'?
It's said that 'our body clocks' remember the time of year and what we did, and well, they expect it again.
I'm guessing in your case you're not getting it.
I used to begin making arrangements for travel to what I used to call 'home' until my father passed away and my mother sold it, this time of year. And, I can feel it. I think I even mourn it.
Miss whole fam' getting together to plan and do Thanksgiving thing, and right alongside, Christmas shopping and plans.
I've been where I live now for a year and I remember I said, 'I'll give it a year b4 I leave'. Well, a year is up, and I still don't like it here, but I'm 'stuck' w/o any way at all to move. I've tried every avenue short of using someone just for their money, which I couldn't stomach. I'm trying to make the best of it, but having a bad day/eve.
I've still not unpacked some boxes; guess in anticipation of leaving here.(?)
Did you try contact the new friend tonight?
I hope you have someone to talk or be with.
You'll be o.k.
There is usually more activity here in the eve' (You're in the right place .. lots of good people.), tho' many posters, for some reason, live in the East. I'm on mountain time, so sometimes will be the last one to post.
I'm sorry you're not getting more support here tonight. You might try one of the other boards.
I'll check back in an hour or so. I might try find something on TV to watch.
bestwishes, cf
Posted by inthegloaming on November 26, 2006, at 19:44:16
In reply to Re: Overwhelmed and far from home, posted by corafree on November 17, 2006, at 19:59:00
Hey folks,
Thanks for your replies. It's been a few weeks since and I'm feeling much better.
The Girl and I are in the midst of an East Coast vacation with one another and are hanging around my house and neighborhood. We've struck up a relationship, it seems, which is great, but presents its own set of problems. I'm nervous sexually and feel bad about it even though she's patient with me. Sigh. But all in all, the anxiety has abaited, I've gotten my driver's liscense and my kitten is a sweetheart.
Thanks for all your kind words!
--g
Posted by corafree on November 27, 2006, at 12:31:35
In reply to Re: Overwhelmed and far from home, posted by inthegloaming on November 26, 2006, at 19:44:16
There is always someone here to listen and offer comfort. I'm so glad things are better for you.
cf
This is the end of the thread.
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