Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1108765

Shown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.


I wanted to help people

Posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2020, at 22:04:06

I did.
I wanted to help people.
I wanted to help people in a circumscribed way.
Where I was 'on' and playing a role.
Where I got to use my brain to figure things out.
Where I got to use my communication skills in explaining things to people in a language they can understand.
Where I got to use my sensitivity and empathy and compassion in empowering them to know what is going on, at least, and hopefully to provide options of things that might help.

I am good with people.

I am good with people on the psych ward.
I am good with the street-people.
I am good with the gangsta youth.
Maybe because I see elements of me in them.
Maybe because I see in this country that many of these people are in fact our brightest and most talented who are kicked back and deprived by the worst of the people.

I am good with people who have options, too.
Insofar as they care about this informed consent business.

I was good with academics in Australia.
People liked me in hospitality.
My boss said I was helpful and that people seemed to like me.

And so...

What the f*ck went wrong?

Why is it that New Zealand treats me like I'm intellectually handicapped.

Why is it that New Zealand refuses to fairly grade my work (or get my work to people capable of fairly grading it) or refuses to deliver the result of the independent assessment?

Why is it that New Zealand refuses to f*ck*ng listen to me about anything anything anything at all. The most basic of things. Refuses to fuckign listen.

Why is it that New Zealand refuses to process my stuff. The people just go 'no' and dismiss it because they don't know how to process it. Instead of doing their job (and passing it up if they don't know how) they just throw my application away / dismiss it.

People don't seem to have the cognitive capacity to comphrehend the plans I made and how I've worked for this.

People treat me like garbage, honestly.

Just stealing the stuff and throwing the people away.

I don't think the people who get to do it are people who want to help people.

I think people who get to do it are people who don't want to help people. People who want to help themselves to people.

That's the advertising / marketing. You want to do it not for what you can do fo rthe job, but for what the job can do for you.

Who wouldn't want to give cervical smears to women who have been anesthetised for unrelated proecdures without their permission?

Who wouldn't want to carve their name into people's organs if they could get away with it - and of course they can?

I mean...

Who wants to be a cleric?



You get death magic. If you get really cool death magic... You know... Ranged damage dealer.

Well, then people want to be a cleric, all of a sudden.

For the good of....

For the good of...

Yeah. well.


Re: I wanted to help people

Posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2020, at 22:09:01

In reply to I wanted to help people, posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2020, at 22:04:06

And it's because they are afraid of me. Because they don't follow the rules. They don't comprehend the rules, often, but even when they do comprehend the rules, they don't typically even try and follow the rules.

People just do... Whatever they want. Whatever they think they can get away with. And because it's so prevalent it's been normalised and so they believe that the force of the masses will hide their transgressions and they are invulnerable.

Because... Well, because, why wouldn't you if you thought you could get away with it? Why wouldn't you just take what you can for as long as you can simply because you can and never mind anybody else?



Because one is not a psychopath. That's why not.


Re: I wanted to help people

Posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2020, at 22:18:24

In reply to Re: I wanted to help people, posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2020, at 22:09:01

It will be alright.

It's just taking time for people to come to terms with the fact that I'm not intellectually handicapped.

I mean, who fails Population Health 101? You gotta be intellectually handicapped to fail that one - right? That one was designed for 'first in family' people at Univerity. That one took out all the requirements of academia like doing the readings and referencing according to international standards. That one gave you all the information you needed in lecturers powerpoint slides and all you needed to do was string them together and meet with the course convenor or whoever and brownnose a lot and express 'ooooooooooh i'm so afraid i'll fail oooooooooh please can you re-write it for me' and you would do well.

I mean... A bunch of people who never attended lectures and who never did any of the readings passed the course.

But the girl who attends every single lecture and who does every single reading fails. The girl who spent the summer school period entering all the references into LaTeX so it would be faster to reference / format duing the term time... That girl fails.

Mmm hmm.

At the local school where the local tribal leaders kids get the best marks solely because they are the local tribal leaders kids?


In a course that credits for First Year Medicine at a University in the top 200 in the world, apparently.

Mmm hmm.

Of course it's got nothing to do with the fact that the disability people labeled her as a target for the Maori people. A 'she's trying to steal a place of one of your kids' sort of a target on her head.

Failing me meant I couldn't apply for a place, you see. That was the only way they could prevent it so they did what they needed to do.

Their very own kid will likely give them the healthcare they deserve.

Their very own kid will likely climb the monkey ladder to mop up a chunk of the DHB budget in exchange for making sure that nobody gets cancer care on their watch.

We don't even seem to TRY and do things properly.

It is very disappointing.

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