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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 18:03:18
...because my T is hugging me a lot lately, and we aren't usually huggers.
I told her about a really lovely Australian woman who was on my holiday, and early on I learned that she had had three complete hip replacements, and two kidney transplants (the first one was rejected). She was very empathetic with my daily panic attacks - another story - and I asked her what her story was.
She said that I was the first person EVER to ask her. That she had lost friends who dropped her as if her condition was catching. That there were close family relatives do the same.
It reminded me vividly of the isolation I feel with my mental health. People, mostly, really don't want to know.
My T has been recovering from a nasty leg break and she's had the same experience.
The whole thing made me weep.
The hug really helped.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 18, 2013, at 19:21:51
In reply to I must be a mess, posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 18:03:18
Maybe you are softer. Emotionally, I mean. More open.
Posted by baseball55 on October 18, 2013, at 20:14:52
In reply to Re: I must be a mess, posted by alexandra_k on October 18, 2013, at 19:21:51
Several years ago I had a bad accident which thoroughly destroyed my ankle and I needed major surgery to fix it. Over several months, I went from crutches and a cast, to crutches and a boot, to crutches when walking, to one crutch, then to a cane.
I found that when I was using crutches, people would ask what happened -- assuming I was injured and recovering. When I went to a cane, people stopped asking -- assuming I was disabled and it was too depressing/embarrassing to raise the topic.
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 20:18:24
In reply to Re: I must be a mess, posted by baseball55 on October 18, 2013, at 20:14:52
Yeah, that's it. I was totally stigmatized by my panic attacks and had a hard time not feeling belligerent about them. "Here, ya want one, have a try. 5 minutes, we'll start small."
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 20:22:23
In reply to Re: I must be a mess, posted by alexandra_k on October 18, 2013, at 19:21:51
> Maybe you are softer. Emotionally, I mean. More open.
Afflicted by an excess of empathy.
That's why I joined a spiritual support group, all women. We all have the same thin skin. It is quite a comfort to find your tribe.
Oh, and we are all pretty intuitive. Many different gifts amongst the group, they are my family.
I am the marine mammal person. Dolphins and whales are my friends.
Posted by sigismund on October 18, 2013, at 23:56:16
In reply to I must be a mess, posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 18:03:18
I agree with her. Many (some probably) Australians just don't want to know. You can tell them you/anyone/all of us are dying of cancer and they will say 'just be positive', or 'remember to breathe'.
It's barbaric of course. We should be open to each other, our stories and each other's distress.
I just wonder why people don't get more bored with their mantras and spiritual ambition.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 0:37:34
In reply to Re: I must be a mess » alexandra_k, posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 20:22:23
> > Maybe you are softer. Emotionally, I mean. More open.
>
> Afflicted by an excess of empathy.> I am the marine mammal person.
:-)
I'm a cat. I don't know what sort. But I'm mostly not evil. I don't like people who don't know the difference between an invitation and a demand for contact.
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 4:43:49
In reply to Re: I must be a mess, posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 0:37:34
Yes you are a cat. I am a humpback whale. Can you hear me?
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 4:58:55
In reply to Re: I must be a mess » alexandra_k, posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 4:43:49
> Yes you are a cat. I am a humpback whale. Can you hear me?
I am large, slow, solitary. I have trusted Man in the past with disastrous results. I travel long distances and sing complicated songs that only other whales comprehend. I live long but will see many tragedies during my life. I hate no one, sometimes to my detriment. I am not beautiful, but majestic in some eyes.
I cannot be understood, but there are many like me in the oceans.
Posted by rockerchick46 on November 2, 2013, at 18:33:55
In reply to Re: I must be a mess » baseball55, posted by Partlycloudy on October 18, 2013, at 20:18:24
> Yeah, that's it. I was totally stigmatized by my panic attacks and had a hard time not feeling belligerent about them. "Here, ya want one, have a try. 5 minutes, we'll start small."
I get those too have you found anything that has helped?
tam
Posted by Partlycloudy on November 3, 2013, at 20:16:33
In reply to Re: I must be a mess---panic attacks, posted by rockerchick46 on November 2, 2013, at 18:33:55
> > Yeah, that's it. I was totally stigmatized by my panic attacks and had a hard time not feeling belligerent about them. "Here, ya want one, have a try. 5 minutes, we'll start small."
>
> I get those too have you found anything that has helped?
>
> tamNot ever. And I realized today I've had them since I was an infant, and neglected by my mom. The baby me would get really cranked up and gasping/crying, and my mom would take me to the hospital. No nurturing. She didn't know what that meant, I think. So I am trying to undo a reflex that has been reinforced by traumas over the years. Self soothing helps, but you can't take a body pillow with you...
PC
Posted by rockerchick46 on November 4, 2013, at 12:13:48
In reply to Re: I must be a mess---panic attacks » rockerchick46, posted by Partlycloudy on November 3, 2013, at 20:16:33
> > > Yeah, that's it. I was totally stigmatized by my panic attacks and had a hard time not feeling belligerent about them. "Here, ya want one, have a try. 5 minutes, we'll start small."
> >
> > I get those too have you found anything that has helped?
> >
> > tam
>
> Not ever. And I realized today I've had them since I was an infant, and neglected by my mom. The baby me would get really cranked up and gasping/crying, and my mom would take me to the hospital. No nurturing. She didn't know what that meant, I think. So I am trying to undo a reflex that has been reinforced by traumas over the years. Self soothing helps, but you can't take a body pillow with you...
> PC
>
>Thanks for responding. So bad you have to go through that. My T has given me some tips and I take Xanax PRN, She said to visualize a calming place, take deep breaths and tell myself that the body is getting the wrong message (Fight or Flight reaction).
This all has helped somewhat but not completely. I still get them and I get them at work so have to gulp my Xanax on the sly.
I wondered if there was any magic trick that I was missing. Guess not.
Tam
Posted by Partlycloudy on November 5, 2013, at 16:38:33
In reply to Re: I must be a mess---panic attacks, posted by rockerchick46 on November 4, 2013, at 12:13:48
Yeah, I took Xanax PRN for years until it got to a point where I was waking up in panic. I switched to Klonopin. Long lasting, but it won't work immediately, so I take it on a schedule.
Meditation; a LOT of meditation, helps me a lot. I will get up in the morning, have my no-caf coffee, then do a guided meditation for 15 - 30 minutes. I have several CDs I vary in use. Then eat breakfast.
Just like taking supplements, I notice it when I *haven't* been doing it. Anxiety and panic levels just creep up. So I try to be vigilant. It helps a lot with remembering to breathe. And thinking of a safe place, if you are a visual person.Aside from that, I try to avoid triggering situations.
PC
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