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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 1, 2010, at 19:50:17
I had my 3rd session today. I keep waiting for the big comparison to my T or for her to say something that doesn't sit well with me, but it hasn't happened. She is different enough that it's been fine and she's been really helpful. I think I can make good progress with her and I honestly like her.
Posted by Annierose on June 1, 2010, at 22:33:06
In reply to I really like new T, posted by TherapyGirl on June 1, 2010, at 19:50:17
that's excellent therapy girl. afterall, you could never "replace" your longtime therapist ... just like you could never replace a longtime friend with another. you meet other friends and you are able to enjoy their company and share a laugh or two but your history is long and heartfelt with the longtime friend ... much like a longtime therapist.
my son sees a social worker and about once a month my husband and i see him. at first, he rubbed me the wrong way and i thought of finding a new therapist for my son. but with time, i have come to look forward to our joint sessions and i apprepriate his differing viewpoint than my own therapist.
Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2010, at 7:36:41
In reply to I really like new T, posted by TherapyGirl on June 1, 2010, at 19:50:17
That's great, Therapygirl! I'm so glad you found someone you like. It does sound as if she practices a different type of therapy, and I can see where that could help avoid comparisons.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2010, at 18:01:25
In reply to Re: I really like new T, posted by Annierose on June 1, 2010, at 22:33:06
Thanks, Annierose. You put it beautifully and that's exactly what it is.
It's also good to know about your son's T. I'm glad you gave him time, especially if you feel he's been helpful to your son.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2010, at 18:02:04
In reply to Re: I really like new T » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2010, at 7:36:41
Yep. I'm a little surprised the transition hasn't been harder and/or that it hasn't been difficult to talk to her.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2010, at 18:04:07
In reply to I really like new T, posted by TherapyGirl on June 1, 2010, at 19:50:17
And I have mixed feelings about it. It was so good to hear her voice and be able to have an actual conversation with her. But then at the end when I said I missed her, she said that she has settled into retirement and that for sure she needed a sabbatical or retirement when she left and now she knows it's retirement. She said she doesn't miss work at all, but she misses "the people." Not me specifically, but "the people."
That really, really burns. And of course, I cried, which just made it all that much worse.
Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2010, at 20:59:24
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2010, at 18:04:07
((( Therapygirl )))
I wonder if they realize how hurtful they can be.
Posted by emmanuel98 on June 2, 2010, at 22:19:54
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2010, at 20:59:24
> I wonder if they realize how hurtful they can be.
I think good T's do realize how painful the relationship can be for the client and how hurt the client may be when they retire or otherwise cut back, but I don't think they mean to be hurtful. It's just an inherently painful situation and the best they can do is try to ameliorate the pain by being gentle and affirming. But they do have to live their own lives. We aren't really a part of their personal lives and that's the painful truth of the matter.
Posted by Annierose on June 2, 2010, at 22:26:56
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by TherapyGirl on June 2, 2010, at 18:04:07
She spoke to you like a friend, not a therapist, forgetting how fragile the relationship is .. I think a lot of therapists tend to forget how we hold onto every word and action (or inaction).
Her words would hurt me too ... but I think she didn't mean to hurt you. She was conveying that she made the right decision for herself in retiring and missed the people but not the "work" part.
Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2010, at 23:20:02
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by Annierose on June 2, 2010, at 22:26:56
> She spoke to you like a friend, not a therapist, forgetting how fragile the relationship is ..
That does sound likely. It's uncharted territory for her, I suppose.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 7, 2010, at 19:53:08
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by emmanuel98 on June 2, 2010, at 22:19:54
Thanks, Emmanuel. Of course you are right. I am more a part of her personal life than most, but there are still those d*mn boundaries. And I'm always the one who hits my head on them.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 7, 2010, at 19:54:24
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by Annierose on June 2, 2010, at 22:26:56
I'm sure you're right, Annierose, and I suspect that this is one of those painful bumps in the road I will have to learn how to navigate better. Because I still want her in my life -- whatever small little piece of her I get. But this really bites.
Thank you so much for understanding and for being so supportive through all of this.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 7, 2010, at 19:55:32
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by Dinah on June 2, 2010, at 23:20:02
Yeah, I'm trying to be charitable and hold on to the good things she's given me (I just read your pup update and am feeling inspired).
But it never ceases to amaze me how both of our Ts can be so magnificent in moments and clueless in others. Never.
Thanks, Dinah, for always responding with your support.
Posted by emmanuel98 on June 7, 2010, at 20:27:57
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on June 7, 2010, at 19:55:32
I stopped seeing my T regularly after five years of weekly therapy. There are days when I miss him so badly I start to cry. I told him when I saw him last for meds that I had thought he would fade from my mind, but he hasn't. He said why would I fade from your mind? You haven't faded from my mind. Niether of us is going to forget the richness of this experience. That made me feel really good. But it also made me miss him more, because he often said such loving and validating things.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 7, 2010, at 20:40:09
In reply to Re: I talked to MY T today on the phone, posted by emmanuel98 on June 7, 2010, at 20:27:57
Yes, it's definitely hard to give that up. And my new T is great -- she really is. And I really like her. But we just don't have the history or the connection I have with MY T.
Gosh, it's hard, isn't it?
This is the end of the thread.
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