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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2010, at 10:55:23
For 7 years, after my t is done, he writes notes and I have always sat on the couch and waited for him, and then we walk out together. It was a routine. Now, all of a sudden he wants to talk about me leaving when we are done....He does this at the END, and then says "we will talk abut that next week." Thanks a lot...a week to feel sick about another change.
Initially, he mentioned last night that he might have asked me to leave at 10 (end time for our session) because if he hadn't had a car, his wife would have picked him up. Then....he was thinking out loud, and said "well, there is no reason you should have to leave, no reason to change, etc.....then the end thing about talking about it NEXT week.
It did not go well, as he said he would be quite some time, and I asked: Do you want me to leave? He said, "yes." I got up, he tried to help me on with my coat, and I said.....it is not necessary, he said "want to shake my hand? I said, "no" and walked out of the door. He knew how upset, angry and hurt I was. I have never done anything like that. It takes a TON to let someone see my pain.
Then there is the "hug" thing; been going back and forth on that; did it for 7 years and tries to NOT hug me now.
HE created this "monster" and I am the one who has to pay the price for his vacillating...back and forth, etc.
All and any comments will be valued. This will be so hard. I try to be independent and depend on myself and have been doing it for such a long time. At 63 (aackk), I shouldn't have to be dealing with this change stuff....I know....life is about change.
Shouldn't we all have the right to keep status quo....especially with our t's....It sounds as if he is feeling guilty.
Raw right now; don't know what will happen next.
xoxo to all.
Posted by fleeting flutterby on April 7, 2010, at 11:39:29
In reply to Feeling Hurt, Angry: PLEASE, Feedback, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2010, at 10:55:23
Im just wondering....... since you said he's not been like this before...... kind of pushing you away.....
I wonder if he has a few clients "on the fly" like you(like the saying "if he's doing it with you he's probably doing it TO you") and one of them is threatening to blow the whistle on him??
maybe he's scared and is trying to erase his tracks now..??
He sounds like a scared child-- no explanations, no caring about how it affects the client-- the ones paying. (huh? this guy is sure a piece of work! ugh)you're in my thoughts sassy
flutterby
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2010, at 12:07:28
In reply to Re: Feeling Hurt, Angry: PLEASE, Feedback » sassyfrancesca, posted by fleeting flutterby on April 7, 2010, at 11:39:29
Thank you (Flutterby))). you sure are a sweetie! Love you for saying that he is a "piece of work"
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by emmanuel98 on April 7, 2010, at 20:14:21
In reply to Re: Feeling Hurt, Angry: PLEASE, Feedback » fleeting flutterby, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2010, at 12:07:28
After 7 years of these weird boundary crossings, maybe you deserve another therapist. Someone with good boundaries who can help you through this.
Posted by rnny on April 7, 2010, at 21:56:15
In reply to Feeling Hurt, Angry: PLEASE, Feedback, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2010, at 10:55:23
Don't worry that you are 63 and still learning. I am 56 and still learning. And it bothers me alot that I still don't have all the answers or "have it all together". I really despise my immature ways. Having an adult who acts immature can at times briefly be cute and endearing but when you have the emotional IQ of a teenager, life is one big scary place when you are really 56. I admire you for being in therapy. My old T used to say that and I used to think, "yeah sure". But it's true. To me it is admirable. If it's any help, there are geriatric psychiatrists and many of their clients are in their 80's and 90's and in some cases 100 or more.
Posted by Phillipa on April 8, 2010, at 10:49:33
In reply to Re: Feeling Hurt, Angry: PLEASE, Feedback, posted by rnny on April 7, 2010, at 21:56:15
Sassy I never thought of him having the same type of relationship with othe clients it could be true that one is calling him out on it or could he have been called out already and warned? Sorry not more positive. Phillipa
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