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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
Thank you so much every one of you for the thoughts, prayers, support, hugs and all the other things you've done to help me get through this.
I probably can't write about it much right now, but I think it went as well as it could have. I didn't get hysterical, although I definitely cried. She gave me a list of referrals with her notes about why each one was on the list for me. I can't look at it right now, but I will soon.
She also gave me the little figurine of an older woman sitting reading the Bible. It has been in her office for decades and it was the thing I traded her for last year when she was out when her husband died. She gave me two pictures of herself and her new house, along with her new address. She is going to take me out to eat for my birthday in a few weeks. We talked about grief and about how proud she is of me. And she told me she loved me.
I'm really sad, but not panicked the way I thought I would be. Maybe that fun part comes later, I don't know. But for right now, I'm okay.
Thanks again to all of you. I know I keep saying this, but I don't have words to express what each of you means to me.
Posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 19:03:08
In reply to How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
Wow, she is going to take you out for your birthday. That is special. Does this mean you will be keeping in "semi-regular" touch with her? In other words, will you be "semi-friends" from here on in? Or is the birthday the last time you will see her or what? How was she? Was she emotional in any way? Did it seem hard for her? How long was your session? Were you the last person she saw? Lots of questions....hope that is OK. Thanks for the update. Checked in to see if you had come back yet. When my T and I said goodbye (in our case it was "goodbye") I was aware it was goodbye, forever. Doesn't really sound that way with you and your T. If you can answer some of my questions, please do. I would love to know. Thanks so much for letting us know what happened. Let's talk more about this. ~Fries
Posted by Dinah on December 30, 2009, at 19:24:17
In reply to How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
I'm so glad you went. It sounds as if she managed to be the loving and caring therapist you've known all these years. I don't know that there is such a thing as a "good" ending, but that sounds as close as possible.
I especially liked that she made notes about the therapists she recommended. It makes the fact that she didn't have them ready earlier more understandable.
((( Therapygirl )))
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 19:27:12
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by rnny on December 30, 2009, at 19:03:08
Yes, she is going to stay in semi-regular contact. About every 3 weeks at first (visit, phone call or email), then tapering off. I think eventually it will be several times/year. Especially after she moves 5 hours away.
She didn't cry, but she was emotional. She had a plan and she carried it through. She was really touched by the photo album and the other part of that gift (that it's not finished) and she understood what that meant immediately. My session was just over an hour and I was her last appointment ever.
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 19:28:11
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on December 30, 2009, at 19:24:17
Thanks, Dinah. I agree with you that she did a good job.
Posted by Dinah on December 30, 2009, at 19:38:59
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » rnny, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 19:27:12
> My session was just over an hour and I was her last appointment ever.
That made me tear right up.
Posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 19:57:34
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on December 30, 2009, at 19:38:59
Me, too, trust me.
The "funny" thing that happened is that I took my little terrified, traumatized foster Beagle and she was on the couch with me. At the end of the session, she wouldn't move off the couch. She hasn't done that before, but I had to pick her up and lift her to the floor. I almost said, "I know exactly how you feel, but we both have to leave this cocoon."
Posted by Verloren on December 30, 2009, at 22:13:19
In reply to How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
Awww sweetie,
That really does sound like she handled it the best way with her plan. It's also good that she has made definite plans to see you again on a personal level. Wow your relationship isn't over, it's grown to a level some others may never know.
I know this feels very upsetting for you and I know you also have a lot of people here who are keeping you in our thoughts. You are very loved. And your T loves you too which is so heart warming that she shared that with you.
My heart is hugging you right now.
((((((((TherapyGirl))))))))
-Verloren
Posted by annierose on December 30, 2009, at 22:36:20
In reply to How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
I'm so glad that despite her failing to understand how difficult she was managing this process, you saw it through to the end.
She gave you several gifts in this session --- the names of therapist complete with notes (I like that very much) and she told you she loved you (who needs more than that? --- it's the best gift of all).
And she gave you a future lunch date. That's gives you hope.
So in the end, she was extremely generous and the loving therapist you came to love in those 20+ years.
Thank you for sharing the end with us. I was thinking about you all day.
Posted by Daisym on December 30, 2009, at 23:52:53
In reply to How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
It sounds like a very loving final session. I doubt you will have any need to panic later because the fear of not being connected seems to have been laid to rest. Clearly she is leaving a piece of herself with you. And just as clearly, she is taking a piece of you with her into the next part of her life.
I love that you have a lunch date set up. It seems like a good start into a new type of relationship.
Thank you for sharing this whole year with us. I've learned a lot from you and hopefully, when the time comes, will end with as much class and grace as you've shown.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by workinprogress on December 31, 2009, at 1:04:37
In reply to How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by TherapyGirl on December 30, 2009, at 18:42:53
THERAPYGIRL!!!!
YOU'RE AWESOME... I'm so proud of you. You're so brave in going through this and it seemed you were able to be pretty present- feeling as opposed to shutting down and pushing her away, but not being overwhelmed by those feelings either.
It sounds like you both did a great job. And annierose is right, she gave you many gifts, as you did her. You're probably much more special to her than you know. And you really shared yourself with her in the present you chose, that showed to me and I'm sure it showed to her. How very loving and thoughtful.
We're here for you, just holler...
I'm so impressed with the grace with which the two of you managed to turn this around. So very impressive. It's a tribute really to how much you love each other.
((((((((((((TG))))))))))))))
xo
WIP
Posted by muffled on January 1, 2010, at 12:11:45
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » TherapyGirl, posted by Daisym on December 30, 2009, at 23:52:53
> It sounds like a very loving final session. I doubt you will have any need to panic later because the fear of not being connected seems to have been laid to rest. Clearly she is leaving a piece of herself with you. And just as clearly, she is taking a piece of you with her into the next part of her life.
>
> I love that you have a lunch date set up. It seems like a good start into a new type of relationship.
>
> Thank you for sharing this whole year with us. I've learned a lot from you and hopefully, when the time comes, will end with as much class and grace as you've shown.
> Hugs,
> Daisy(((((TG))))))
So, here you are.
Thanks for posting bout it.
I left Daisys post above cuz it said so well much of my thots.
Others too said many good things.
Thanks for sharing this, its a useful thing indeed, for all that it was so awful, I think you guys incredibly managed to carry off a crazy hard thing w/grace.
I am so impressed, like crazy impressed.
And now you are off on a different journey.
I am glad you T left you some referrals ideas to help you start on your T hunt. I think you do need to actively persue that.
Also, how wonderful that you are giving the poor dog a chance!!! Working w/foster dogs takes alot of patience and agape love. They need people like you TG out there to help them.
I got to run.
Again, thx ever so muh for sharing all this.
TGC
M
Posted by muffled on January 1, 2010, at 12:12:56
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by workinprogress on December 31, 2009, at 1:04:37
Ooops for got to check off the notify button!
I do that now :)
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:22:37
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » TherapyGirl, posted by Verloren on December 30, 2009, at 22:13:19
Thanks, Verloren. You are so sweet. And you're right -- I've felt all the good thoughts and support coming my way and it has helped more than you can imagine.
((((((((((Verloren))))))))))
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:24:18
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by annierose on December 30, 2009, at 22:36:20
Thanks, AnnieRose. You are right, in the end she came through in a huge way. And 2 sessions before the last one she admitted that she wasn't at the top of her game and that this was very difficult for her and we were both struggling. That helped as much as anything else, I think.
She is a wonderful T and a wonderful Mom for me. Now we'll see what kind of "friends" we can be.
Thanks for thinking of me. It really did help!
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:27:21
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » TherapyGirl, posted by Daisym on December 30, 2009, at 23:52:53
Daisy, you are so sweet and so wise. I don't feel like I handled this with class and grace, but somehow I think we both pulled it out in the end.
You have been unbelievably helpful all year long and I will never forget that. I was only able to stick it out because of something you said to me several months ago -- that I already had the memories, etc., that I needed to hold her in my heart and I needed to stop trying to create new ones. Of course, you said it much better than that, but it was something I kept going back to in my mind.
So far, it's been much easier than I thought. Of course, it hasn't been a week yet, so I don't miss her yet. But I feel okay about everything right now.
Thanks again, Daisy!!!!!
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:29:32
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by workinprogress on December 31, 2009, at 1:04:37
Thanks so much, WIP. You have been so supportive and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
We were able to pull it out in the end, but I think only because I had all the support I had here. I did manage not to shut completely down or humiliate myself, so that was a big accomplishment. I could feel all of you thinking about me and supporting me -- it sounds weird I know, but I knew my Babble friends were in that room with me, holding me up.
((((((((((WIP)))))))))))
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:30:36
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by muffled on January 1, 2010, at 12:11:45
Thank you, Muffly. I couldn't have done it without you and so many others here. Seriously. You gave me support, love and a good kick in the pants when I needed it. I love you, Girl!
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:31:21
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends, posted by muffled on January 1, 2010, at 12:12:56
Oh, and the dog is doing great. I'm probably going to end up adopting her. She seems to be the other piece of my family. In spite of all she's been through, she is unbelievably sweet.
Posted by muffled on January 3, 2010, at 17:03:37
In reply to Re: How it went -- All my Babble Friends » Verloren, posted by TherapyGirl on January 3, 2010, at 15:22:37
:) (((TG)))
Lifes sure hard sometimes...
But sometimes its SO cool too!!!!!
M
This is the end of the thread.
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