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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deerock on December 16, 2009, at 14:45:58
My email is at the bottom. alice miller's response is at the top. i must say, this serves to further confuse me. on one hand i feel like i should be grateful my T is sticking with me. on another, after reading alice's email, i feel like i should dump the T and there is nothing to be grateful for.
From: Alice Miller <xxxxxx.com>
To: dxxxx <xxxxxxx.com>
Sent: Wed, December 16, 2009 11:49:39 AM
Subject: Re: rage directed at my therapistAM: I would never go back to a therapist who could not help me to UNDERSTAND my anger related to the history of my childhood. Read the FAQ list on the top of the page "articles"
From: drxxxxcom>
To: xxxxAm
Sent: Wed, December 16, 2009 6:02:00 AM
Subject: rage directed at my therapistHi Alice,
I am an avid supporter and reader of your work.
I recently had an incident with my therapist where I shared a rage filled fantasy with her that was directed towards her. I was enraged with my therapist because I felt that I was not getting better and my behavior was not changing. She cried when I shared my rage filled fantasy towards her.
In the following session, I continued to be very angry with her. I must have been directing rage towards her that was repressed rage from my childhood.When I did not apoligize for hurting her and continued to rage at her, she felt that she was no longer able to work with me because she was not able to tolerate my rage.
Is this what you are referring to when you say it is important to find a therapist that is able to tolerate our anger? I am wondering if this is an issue of having an inadequate therapist or if it is an issue of common respect and courtesy where when I hurt my therapists feelings, I should have apologized and gotten control of my anger instead of continuing to be hostile towards her.
I sought out another therapist for a consult. That therapist told me that I was enraged at my therapist because she was not fixing me and it was my responsibility to change and she would not make me change. The consulting therapist told me I should continue to work with my current therapist.
I am wondering what your thoughts are on this. Thank you.
dsutel
Posted by southernsky on December 16, 2009, at 16:13:06
In reply to an email from alice miller, posted by deerock on December 16, 2009, at 14:45:58
I would say that Alice Miller knows nothing about your issues and diagnosis and that neither do any of us on this forum. Some of us may guess and/or relate, but that is really what it comes down to.
I'd go with your gut once you gain some more understanding of this - get a second professional consult if necessary, and talk to your T about everything you've posted here and even discuss the email and response of Alice Miller. Seems that would help you with the confusion, while hearing all these opinions is just adding to it while you go thru this difficult time. I think you will make the right choice in time. Hugs to you, Deerock.
Posted by rnny on December 16, 2009, at 16:18:55
In reply to Re: an email from alice miller, posted by southernsky on December 16, 2009, at 16:13:06
What book or article did you read this about a T should understand your anger, by Alice Miller? I would like to read it myself. Thank you.
Posted by deerock on December 16, 2009, at 18:12:41
In reply to Re: an email from alice miller, posted by southernsky on December 16, 2009, at 16:13:06
ya i need to chill out with posting here. its not always helpful. do they have babblers anonymous?
thanks again southernesky. i think that this is not an issue of did i get too angry or did she make a mistake of being unable to hold my anger. thats too black and white. i think the answer will come over the next few sessions as i move through this with my T. i think there is a major transference and countertransference that went on and i think as long as she knows what the countertransference is, she wont repeat it and we'll be onto some other fun stuff.
enjoy your evening.
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