![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 13:20:29
My pdoc says we've already gone over everything that needs to be gone over. She says I have improved a lot. She doesn't want to see me every week anymore.
She says I have all the skills, I just have to apply them. She said I am just being lazy.
I'm feeling self destructive.
tears
Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 30, 2009, at 15:43:18
In reply to My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 13:20:29
I am so sorry. That is UNethical. The only person who knows when they are ready to leave therapy, is the client. Shame on her. I am so sorry, sweetie.
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 15:44:48
In reply to My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 13:20:29
Not self destructive anymore. I want to grow my hair long and healthy.
I think I'm OK now. Pdoc wants to see me once every two weeks now instead of every week. She said she is not abandoning me, but it feels like she is starting the progress of termination.
:-(
Posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 15:49:38
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by sassyfrancesca on September 30, 2009, at 15:43:18
Thanks Sassy
Pdoc will still see me next week, but it just won't be the same now seeing her once every two weeks.
Maybe she feels like we are not making enough progress.
I think she is preparing to terminate the relationship.
Posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 16:00:04
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-( » sassyfrancesca, posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 15:49:38
I am sad. :-(
I'm going to hug Dr. Bob in my mind now.
(((((((((((((((Dr. Bob)))))))))))))))))
:-(
tears
Posted by gibbons482 on September 30, 2009, at 17:24:51
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 16:00:04
Deneb,
I know it feels like she's/he's abandoning you, but think positive. It means they feel you're getting better. And that's a good thing. I think this abandonment thing is your BPD. On the flip side, I know how it feels to have appointments less often. I miss seeing my pdoc all the time, but it just means they think I'm getting better.
Posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 18:39:41
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by gibbons482 on September 30, 2009, at 17:24:51
I hope my pdoc is not abandoning me. It feels like she is getting ready to terminate me.
I took some extra Risperdal. I have stopped crying for now and I don't want to die anymore.
I wrote pdoc a letter telling her how I feel about this.
I am going to study tomorrow.
Posted by Dinah on September 30, 2009, at 19:07:34
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-( » gibbons482, posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 18:39:41
I was going to ask you if you talked to her about how you felt about her suggestion.
She's been an important source of stability for you, and I don't think that goes away just because you've learned things.
But she isn't terminating you. She's just cutting back your sessions, right?
I do understand your distress. I'd be very upset myself.
I'm glad the Risperdal helped. Love that Risperdal.
Posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 19:39:02
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-( » Deneb, posted by Dinah on September 30, 2009, at 19:07:34
I am getting kind of hopeless again. I feel like jumping off this bridge thingie tomorrow on campus.
Then I wouldn't have to worry about classes, life or anything anymore.
I am so screwed for my classes. This was my last chance.
Posted by gibbons482 on September 30, 2009, at 19:48:01
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-( » gibbons482, posted by Deneb on September 30, 2009, at 18:39:41
It's good you wrote your pdoc a letter, maybe you can show it to her. I'm with Dinah, did you talk this over with your doctor about how you're feeling? Maybe you can call and see if you can go back to weekly appointments, that you don't feel comfortable to go once every two weeks yet.
Posted by Deneb on October 1, 2009, at 17:38:33
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-( » Deneb, posted by gibbons482 on September 30, 2009, at 19:48:01
I feel bad. Can someone talk to me? I called the crisis line, but they were busy.
Posted by Dinah on October 1, 2009, at 17:46:03
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on October 1, 2009, at 17:38:33
Hi Deneb.
If I were you I'd be furious with my therapist. Is there any way you can call her to tell her how angry you are? One thing my therapist and I have agreed on is that once I got better at telling him how I felt (well, not just him of course), I started having less urges to hurt myself.
You don't need to do anything desperate right now. You've been without her for weeks at a time when she's gone on vacation. You have time to talk to her.
Right now you need to focus on school. Did you take the amount of Risperdal you are allowed to take today? If you feel overwhelmed by urges to harm yourself, please go to the hospital. I remind you that your therapist hasn't terminated you and you will have a chance to talk to her about this, but I have asked my therapist to hospitalize me immediately when he terminates me. He didn't. But still...
I'll be around later tonight, though I have some obligations I need to take care of between now and then.
I'll look for you in chat.
Posted by Deneb on October 1, 2009, at 18:50:40
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Dinah on October 1, 2009, at 17:46:03
Thanks Dinah. Sorry if I scared people again. I just go back to destructive ways of coping sometimes.
I cried a lot in bed again. Called the crisis line again. This time I got through. The lady was so nice. The mental health crisis line is much better than the distress line. Maybe they are better trained.
I'm feeling a bit better right now.
I also took some Risperdal, I think it makes me sleepy.
Posted by Dinah on October 1, 2009, at 20:05:06
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-( » Dinah, posted by Deneb on October 1, 2009, at 18:50:40
You might want to take a teensy bit of the Risperdal for a few days, rather than wait until you are in deep distress. I do it to prevent my dive into the depths if I think that might be likely.
Distraction is good too. I don't suppose any of your classes are interesting enough to engage your attention?
Posted by Deneb on October 2, 2009, at 15:25:34
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Dinah on October 1, 2009, at 20:05:06
I think I am OK now. I'm like a kid, I can't stay depressed for long. Anyways, I am back to laughing, having fun and procrastinating again instead of sobbing in bed all day.
I'm going to get some studying done today. My sister got me a book I needed from the library at the campus on the hospital grounds.
I also did some retail therapy. I bought a pink Ficcare on a swap board at a hair forum for $26. It's my first Ficcare! They sell for about $40.
That is it for the foreseeable future (I hope) lol. I have to stop spending so much on my hair.
Posted by Deneb on October 2, 2009, at 16:10:23
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on October 2, 2009, at 15:25:34
Oops,sorry about changing moods so quickly again. I just don't know why I am not upset anymore. I think it will hit me again soon.
I think I need my pragmatics buddy. I am still upset my pdoc doesn't want to see me every week, but now I am not devastated over it. I may still become devastated, but just right now I am temporarily OK.
Posted by gibbons482 on October 2, 2009, at 16:29:26
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on October 2, 2009, at 16:10:23
I'm glad you're feeling better Deneb.
Posted by Dinah on October 2, 2009, at 16:30:07
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Deneb on October 2, 2009, at 16:10:23
Well, I'm often just a babblemail away. :)
Posted by Deneb on October 7, 2009, at 15:58:01
In reply to Re: My pdoc is abandoning me :-(, posted by Dinah on October 2, 2009, at 16:30:07
It was a good session. I was nervous at first, but then it was OK. Pdoc talked a lot. She really thinks I am ready to be more independent and to find rely more on family and friends for support.
I felt like she really cares.
I will see pdoc next week and then it is up to me to change my appointments to once every 2 weeks. She asked if I wanted to see her next week or the week after, so I said next week.
Posted by 10derHeart on October 7, 2009, at 17:49:19
In reply to Saw pdoc again, posted by Deneb on October 7, 2009, at 15:58:01
That sounds excellent. Seems she really hears you, respects your feelings, and is willing to let you take the lead in frequency of appointments. I like that approach myself.
Do you feel less worried that she is focused only on moving toward termination? Did you tell her about about badly you felt before, as you posted here? Hope so, as it's probably better for her to help you if she has the *whole* picture - when you feel really great and stable, and when you feel really horrible and unstable.
I'm really glad you were able to say "next week" and not instead, feel pressured into "2 weeks" because you think that's what *she* wants you to say.... I know I struggle with that issue sometimes with my T. I like to please him and show what aspects of me are "better," yet at the same time, I want to honestly say what I need, NOT what I think he might WANT me to need....
Did that make any sense? Lol..I tried....
Posted by Deneb on October 7, 2009, at 20:12:21
In reply to Re: Saw pdoc again » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on October 7, 2009, at 17:49:19
I think I let her know I was very distressed. I told her I was attached to her and that she was like my second Mom. I think she understands.
I think I will be OK too. She says I wouldn't want to see her when I am 50. I think she is kind of acting like a parent. I'm doing well enough that I don't need her as often and she wants me to get out there in the world and make friends and develop relationships. She thinks seeing her every week made it so I didn't have much incentive to develop other relationships, since I had her.
I told her I was worried about termination and she said she wasn't terminating the relationship. That made me feel better.
Posted by Dinah on October 8, 2009, at 8:28:00
In reply to Re: Saw pdoc again » 10derHeart, posted by Deneb on October 7, 2009, at 20:12:21
That sounds like a wonderful session! I'm so glad you were able to express how you felt, and that she responded supportively and with caring.
If I'm understanding you right, she's going to let you make some of the decisions yourself?
Most importantly, she assured you that she wasn't terminating you. And perhaps reassured you that she does care?
I have grown to appreciate your therapist a lot, Deneb. I'm glad I won't need to give her a stern talking to. Did she have any suggestions on learning to shift support to other sources?
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.