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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 21:13:37
hey...how many people here do not cry in therapy? i have been with mine for a year and a half, we have a good r'ship. yet i still can not cry in front of her. would be interested to hear if anyone else finds this hard or not.
Posted by emmanuel98 on September 14, 2009, at 21:19:27
In reply to crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 21:13:37
I cry almost every week. Always have. I do this with my p-doc (also my T) and my DBT therapist. I never cried until I started therapy.
Posted by obsidian on September 14, 2009, at 22:13:51
In reply to crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 21:13:37
it took me a while, but I found that I couldn't really talk about what I needed to talk about without crying.
Do you think you need to?
-sid
Posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 22:46:32
In reply to Re: crying in therapy » blahblahblah, posted by obsidian on September 14, 2009, at 22:13:51
> it took me a while, but I found that I couldn't really talk about what I needed to talk about without crying.
> Do you think you need to?
> -sidUm, i don't know. i remember about 3 months into therapy i told her i could never cry in front of her because it would be awkward. i said she would just stare at me and i wouldn't like that. sometimes, when getting into repressed memories i have needed to cry but held back. i have maternal transference, and never felt comfortable showing emotion to my mum, so that may be why.
what does your t do when you cry?
Posted by littlegirllost on September 15, 2009, at 0:07:45
In reply to crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 21:13:37
I don't and I've been with my therapist for just about 6 years. I've come close, but always seem to stop myself in some way or another. I have, at times, teared up, but have never let them fall either. For me it's mostly about being embarrassed. I generally don't cry in front of people; not that I cry much anyway. I think I'm also anxious with anticipation about what she might do if I were to cry; most likely she would just sit there, but I really don't want her to sit there and watch me (since I'm already embarrassed).
Have you figured out what stops you?
lgl
Posted by blahblahblah on September 15, 2009, at 7:49:51
In reply to Re: crying in therapy » blahblahblah, posted by littlegirllost on September 15, 2009, at 0:07:45
>
> Have you figured out what stops you?
>
> lglyeah i think the exact same things that stop you. i am embarrassed, i find it awkward, and i don't want her to just sit there and stare at me. i would feel to embarrassed to reach over and get a tissue so it would just be a big awkward moment. and i think cause i have built it up to be something terrible i stop myself from doing it.
Posted by Dinah on September 15, 2009, at 8:33:28
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 15, 2009, at 7:49:51
It really isn't all that embarrassing. I don't cry easily myself. I rarely do it outside therapy, and rarely inside therapy.
But occasionally my eyes do drip a bit. If my nose runs, I do reach for a Kleenex. They are usually conveniently at hand.
On rare occasions I do heaving gasping sobs, which is dreadfully awkward both of us, I think. But the embarrassment hasn't killed either of us yet.
It can't be forced, I don't think. But as you feel more comfortable it might happen.
Posted by obsidian on September 15, 2009, at 13:52:14
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 22:46:32
> > it took me a while, but I found that I couldn't really talk about what I needed to talk about without crying.
> > Do you think you need to?
> > -sid
>
> Um, i don't know. i remember about 3 months into therapy i told her i could never cry in front of her because it would be awkward. i said she would just stare at me and i wouldn't like that. sometimes, when getting into repressed memories i have needed to cry but held back. i have maternal transference, and never felt comfortable showing emotion to my mum, so that may be why.that must be hard :-(
well, I guess there might be something to talk about there..what would mom do if you cried?
>
> what does your t do when you cry?he might ask me what is going on/what I am thinking/feeling at that moment, he gets a little gentler, and I feel like he's "there" with me. I've done some serious sobbing in therapy and at times some crying for some time afterward...that sucks, leaving in that kind of state. I don't mind crying so much, that is when I can find some relief in it. I don't cry so much these days, kind of wish I could.
Sometimes people are afraid of tears, the sadness gets uncomfortable. I think the tears have just got to come sometimes.take care,
sid :-)
Posted by moonshadow on September 15, 2009, at 14:03:27
In reply to Re: crying in therapy » blahblahblah, posted by obsidian on September 15, 2009, at 13:52:14
I only cried with my old T when I left therapy with her. That was horrible. With my current T, I don't cry. I can't even imagine crying.
I rarely cry in front of others, anyway. I do think it would be freeing. I'm pretty stifled in therapy with my current T.
Posted by emmanuel98 on September 15, 2009, at 19:33:46
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by moonshadow on September 15, 2009, at 14:03:27
A good T won't just sit and stare at you if you cry. They'll say soothing things and see the crying as something to talk about. My T will say, why is that so sad? If I stop talking and cry, he'll say, where are you now? What's making you feel sad?
I have found this very helpful in getting in touch with my emotions.
Posted by Maxime on September 16, 2009, at 21:13:10
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by emmanuel98 on September 15, 2009, at 19:33:46
I was never able to cry in therapy and it made me feel like something was wrong with me. I guess it's because I hold in all my feelings all the time.
Posted by obsidian on September 16, 2009, at 22:55:00
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by Maxime on September 16, 2009, at 21:13:10
that's got to be exhausting??
-sid
Posted by Sigismund on September 17, 2009, at 3:33:44
In reply to crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 21:13:37
I just want to throw in the usual thing about the difference between crying and weeping.
There are sensible things to say about the difference that escape me.
One is that weeping has no angle, no axe to grind, no expectation of help, but more an overflowing.
Another is that crying can be compelled, but weeping cannot.
Posted by Sigismund on September 17, 2009, at 3:36:56
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by Sigismund on September 17, 2009, at 3:33:44
Maybe crying is an act of the ego, but weeping is not?
Posted by Maxime on September 18, 2009, at 16:44:33
In reply to Re: crying in therapy » Maxime, posted by obsidian on September 16, 2009, at 22:55:00
> that's got to be exhausting??
> -sidIt is. I also think it worsens my depression by not being able to release my feelings.
Posted by creepy on October 1, 2009, at 8:15:49
In reply to crying in therapy, posted by blahblahblah on September 14, 2009, at 21:13:37
For some people its vey hard to cry in therapy. You might find you need a push from a life event to get you over the resistance you feel.
Usually the therapist will encourage that release of pent up emotion.
If you cant cry in therapy, you may want to do so on your own to drain out these pent up negative emotions. An exercise you can try is cathartic release. That is, find something that makes you very sad or very angry and experience it. I know someone that had good success using the evangelion anime for catharsis. You could use a book, a film, a song, whatever. Its a lot less threatening to look in a mirror than it is to be back where you were hurt.
Youll find that it is exhausting. You may feel tired and numb afterwards but you may notice youre not in as much 'internal pain' for awhile.
Hope this helps
Posted by Kath on October 2, 2009, at 20:42:00
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by creepy on October 1, 2009, at 8:15:49
I notice you're new.
Welcome.
:-) Kath
Posted by creepy on October 7, 2009, at 13:54:16
In reply to Re: crying in therapy » creepy, posted by Kath on October 2, 2009, at 20:42:00
Thanks!
If I can share some info and help someone else out with it, thats good
There are some very knowledgeable folks on these forums, so I hope to learn some things as well.
Posted by Deneb on October 7, 2009, at 14:12:35
In reply to Re: crying in therapy, posted by creepy on October 1, 2009, at 8:15:49
Hello! I want to welcome you to Babble too. Thanks for posting. If you have some free time, drop by chat some nights. I'm there most nights.
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