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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by yellowbird01 on September 9, 2009, at 19:37:43
I know I dont post often here, and I'm really not even sure what kind of response I'm looking for.. I just want to share this with people who will understand how very odd it feels.
I work in the social work field. I frequently refer clients to counseling and other treatment programs as needed. I saw a therapist in my area for two years. I stopped seeing her in December and am now seeing someone else. I live in a fairly small area, so I knew it was only a matter of time until me and my ex-therapist shared a client. Now it is happening! Because of the type of work i do, it's important for me to follow up with therapists etc to ensure clients are cooperating and doing what they need to do. I faxed my ex-therapist a release and left her a voice message saying I was also working with this client and requesting she call me so we could share information etc. She left me a message in return today. I didnt call her back yet. I dont see her for therapy anymore, but this is still very weird... to share and receive information from my therapist about another client. Yikes. It doesnt upset me, it just makes me nervous and uncomfortable I guess. In a way, it really scares me! I'm worried about coming off as stupid, which I never worried about before with her... but we've never interacted professionally before. I'm going to call her tomorrow sometime. I imagine it's probably just as awkward for her as it is for me. I left this therapist in good terms, and like her a lot.. this should be interesting.
Posted by workinprogress on September 9, 2009, at 23:06:01
In reply to Weird thing (re: dual relationships), posted by yellowbird01 on September 9, 2009, at 19:37:43
I'd say the old babble adage:
"talk to her about it"
applies here too. In fact, the talk about what's going on thing is actually practice for real life. I'd suggest just saying, you know, this feels a little awkward and I just wanted to put that out there. We used to have a very different relationship and now we'll be working as peers" Then you might insert anything you might have thought of that will make it work better for you, specific concerns, worries (even- all of the sudden I worry you'll judge me... she can probably reassure you that she won't).
It is a tricky situation, not one you could probably avoid, unless you have only just started working with this client and there's a colleague you could pass them on to...
Regardless, I think your ex-therapist would totally understand, they have lots of power in the relationship for 1, for 2 she knows lots about you- it's her job not to abuse that though and it is fair to seek reassurance about it.
Just my 2 cents...
good luck!
> I know I dont post often here, and I'm really not even sure what kind of response I'm looking for.. I just want to share this with people who will understand how very odd it feels.
>
> I work in the social work field. I frequently refer clients to counseling and other treatment programs as needed. I saw a therapist in my area for two years. I stopped seeing her in December and am now seeing someone else. I live in a fairly small area, so I knew it was only a matter of time until me and my ex-therapist shared a client. Now it is happening! Because of the type of work i do, it's important for me to follow up with therapists etc to ensure clients are cooperating and doing what they need to do. I faxed my ex-therapist a release and left her a voice message saying I was also working with this client and requesting she call me so we could share information etc. She left me a message in return today. I didnt call her back yet. I dont see her for therapy anymore, but this is still very weird... to share and receive information from my therapist about another client. Yikes. It doesnt upset me, it just makes me nervous and uncomfortable I guess. In a way, it really scares me! I'm worried about coming off as stupid, which I never worried about before with her... but we've never interacted professionally before. I'm going to call her tomorrow sometime. I imagine it's probably just as awkward for her as it is for me. I left this therapist in good terms, and like her a lot.. this should be interesting.
>
>
Posted by jane d on September 11, 2009, at 5:37:38
In reply to Weird thing (re: dual relationships), posted by yellowbird01 on September 9, 2009, at 19:37:43
I think I would be uncomfortable having my therapist see me at my work - which is not in the field. I'd also be worried about seeming stupid. The roles are so incompatible. As client I'm admitting my feelings overall incompetence. At work I'm trying to hide those. I imagine the discomfort would only be magnified if my work were in her field of expertise.
But after imagining myself in your position I found myself thinking about how I'd feel as your client and it bothers me a lot. Will you tell your client about your previous relationship with her therapist? It seems only fair. I know that if I were your client and I later found out that you had not told me I would feel completely betrayed by both of you. It would be something like finding out my therapist had been dating my mother! Since I was a child! Thinking about this I'm beginning to really understand why one friend in a small town refused to even consider seeing a therapist.
jane
Posted by yellowbird01 on September 11, 2009, at 14:39:04
In reply to Isn't this a three way relationship?, posted by jane d on September 11, 2009, at 5:37:38
I only have a quick minute to respond right now but wanted to write a quick reply..
I dont think I explained my job/role in relation to my clients very well. Without more information, Jane, I completely see what you mean and how my post must have sounded! I do work in social work, but the nature of my job is such that my interactions with clients are typically very short-term and are not meant to be therapeutic. I do some referrals to services (anything from therapy to housing etc) but building trust and rapport isnt something we focus on much. Child welfare type stuff, definitely not therapy. For that reason, I havent worried much about the impact of this weird tri-relationship on the person I am working with. After ensuring this person follows through with the initial appt and all is settled, I wont have any further contact with this person, and very likely will not have any contact with my ex-therapist regarding this person either. I hope that makes sense... I absolutely see the point you were making.
Ex-T and I are actually playing phone tag so we havent actually caught up with each other yet. I do plan to comment on the awkwardness of the situation, but I dont plan to say much more than that. I think it's important (for me anyway) to make a complete seperation, even in our conversation, between Sally-my-ex-therapist and Sally-my-colleague. Sally isnt her real name of course. Due to the place where my ex-T works, and her position there, I think we both always knew this situation would come up. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long. I wasnt working at the job I'm at now when I began seeing her, or I'd have chosen someone else, but I think it will work out fine for all involved.
Posted by yellowbird01 on September 15, 2009, at 19:15:59
In reply to Re: Isn't this a three way relationship?, posted by yellowbird01 on September 11, 2009, at 14:39:04
Finally got in touch with her yesterday. It went well and wasnt awkward at all except for maybe the first 30 seconds. Overall, I'm very happy with how it went and felt good about the interaction. Thanks for you alls thoughts about it.
Of course that didnt stop my current T from ripping me apart for it and everything else she could find today. :) (sarcastic smile)
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