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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gibbons482 on July 29, 2009, at 12:00:40
A little background: I just started seeing this therapist that came highly recommended. I dislike the way she is so formal and I don't know maybe I should give her more time. My others were a lot more laid back.
The big problem is she is so focused on the here and now; she gives me homework assignments to do. I don't mind the homework nor whatever approach she has, but I need to talk about things that happened to me in the past--traumatic things that are still bothering me and affecting me.
Should I try talking to her or just look for another therapist since I don't feel comfortable with her to begin with? She came so highly recommended and I had to wait to get in to see her, I was hoping it would work out better than this.
Thanks for any advice.
Posted by Dinah on July 29, 2009, at 15:48:32
In reply to Should I quit?, posted by gibbons482 on July 29, 2009, at 12:00:40
Only you can make that decision.
Ordinarily I say that if she isn't a good fit, it's best to look for someone else.
But did you perhaps wait for her because she was offering something different from what you've had in the past? Have you made progress with your prior therapists? Are you looking for something similar to them?
If it's the discomfort of a different, and perhaps more challenging, type of therapy, it might be worth considering whether you think it might be helpful in the long run.
If it's just a bad fit, then studies would indicate that outcome won't be as good as it would be for a better fit.
Posted by gibbons482 on July 29, 2009, at 17:15:49
In reply to Re: Should I quit? » gibbons482, posted by Dinah on July 29, 2009, at 15:48:32
> But did you perhaps wait for her because she was offering something different from what you've had in the past? Have you made progress with your prior therapists? Are you looking for something similar to them?
>It IS different, it's more CBT like, I think. I didn't make much progress with previous therapists, except the one who moved away. I don't know what I'm looking for as far as therapy style as long as it works; I just don't want to spend 20 years in therapy or something.
> If it's the discomfort of a different, and perhaps more challenging, type of therapy, it might be worth considering whether you think it might be helpful in the long run.
I never thought about this. Thank you for pointing it out. Do you think maybe I should give it a few more sessions? Perhaps I never got anywhere with therapy before (except for the one) was because they were too laid back and more like social hour/friends.
> If it's just a bad fit, then studies would indicate that outcome won't be as good as it would be for a better fit.That's just it, I can't tell.
Posted by Nadezda on July 30, 2009, at 0:26:33
In reply to Re: Should I quit? » Dinah, posted by gibbons482 on July 29, 2009, at 17:15:49
Gibbons, I wonder why you ask, because no one can possibly answer this, particularly if you can't tell.
Perhaps if you had a strong sense, but were checking to see if your perceptions or reasoning made sense to others, some of us might have experience with the same thing and be able to speak from that.
You've asked this question several times. It seems to me that you're undecided and ambivalent-- it doesn't feel right or comfortable, but you're not willing, or ready, or clear enough to move on. But it seems that the path of least resistance here is to stay. In which case, it makes sense to stay, until you become clearer that the best choice is to stop.
At some point, you may feel that you've become committed to the therapy and that it makes sense to go on with this T, or you may feel that it isn't working, and this isn't what you're looking for or need.
There actually is no general answer. I might find this woman just the person for me-- there's no knowing. The fit is a very individual process that either does or doesn't happen between two people--
I think the thing to do is just to continue thinking and feeling about this, until you feel more persuaded of what's best for you.
Nadezda
Posted by friesandcoke on August 7, 2009, at 0:42:13
In reply to Should I quit?, posted by gibbons482 on July 29, 2009, at 12:00:40
if your gut tells you that you are not going to bond therapeutically (sp?) with this person, i say go with your gut and move on.
Posted by friesandcoke on August 7, 2009, at 0:42:17
In reply to Should I quit?, posted by gibbons482 on July 29, 2009, at 12:00:40
if your gut tells you that you are not going to bond therapeutically (sp?) with this person, i say go with your gut and move on.
This is the end of the thread.
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