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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 10derHeart on April 3, 2009, at 21:01:58
This morning I had a scheduled session on the phone with my T. He's one to give a full 55 minutes, for me anyway, more like 60 minutes in reality. But when there was less than 5 minutes left, we kept talking and talking, even though I know I said a couple times, "we're almost done...." or "...and I know you have to go now...." But, instead of doing the wrap up thing so I can be calm[er] and detach from the closeness of the call (hard - hate it) we just talked some more. Finally, after almost 10 minutes over, I asked what was going on with his next client. He said, "well, the light isn't on so I just figured, why stop...?' [They use a light system where you turn on the switch by your T's name in the waiting room to let the T. know the person is there] After I checked that this wasn't anyone new, who might be so nervous or (somehow) ignoring the LARGE sign that tells you to use the light, and he said, "no, no, this person definitely would use the light so I know they aren't here," we kept talking for another 13 minutes!
I had 1 hour and 23 minutes, just because he is so kind and generous of spirit, and with his precious time. And it's not like he had nothing to do with unexpected free time, as I know he had filing and calls to return, and other stuff from a previous conversation....he just did it "because."
He is so wonderful to me, I just can't believe it sometimes. Like Dinah said, at certain times, under just the "right" circumstances, when he is good, he is very, very good.
I adore my T. I have to believe even with the pain of not seeing him in person, the limitations of the phone, and sessions being too infrequent (not his fault - my finances won't allow as many sessions as I used to have and still want) - and whatever else - he is still the very best T. for me - period.
Well, that's all. I just had to tell someone.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2009, at 21:47:40
In reply to Generosity of my T., posted by 10derHeart on April 3, 2009, at 21:01:58
Your therapist is definitely generous. I need to hold my therapist's toes to the fire to see that he gives me the time I pay for. I am so impressed that yours gives so much of himself.
He really is wonderful that way, and that he cares about you very much is obvious.
Posted by rskontos on April 3, 2009, at 21:56:44
In reply to Generosity of my T., posted by 10derHeart on April 3, 2009, at 21:01:58
Ahhh 10der,
That is so nice for you and made me smile.
I am sorry that you moved away, so far, but I am thrilled that he maintains a closeness that hasn't lessened due to distance.
Thanks for sharing,
rsk
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2009, at 0:57:00
In reply to Re: Generosity of my T. » 10derHeart, posted by rskontos on April 3, 2009, at 21:56:44
That must have been so heartwarming and what a nice surprise. He must really think highly of you and I'm thinking he misses you also. Love Phillipa
Posted by SLS on April 5, 2009, at 7:03:24
In reply to Generosity of my T., posted by 10derHeart on April 3, 2009, at 21:01:58
10derHeart, are you entering new therapeutic territory? Perhaps your therapist didn't want to leave any "door knob" issues unattended at a critical juncture in your treatment. Maybe he genuinely likes your company. It would be hard not to, I imagine. Whichever the case may be, your T is indeed generous. It sounds like he cares about you.
I consider myself lucky to have a therapist that is a good match for me. I have had some that are not such good matches, but again, I have been fortunate that I was able to glean a great deal of knowledge about myself and make changes that I think are positive and constructive. "Take the best and forget the rest". My goal is to learn and practice ways of being that resonate well with my core. It is up to me to decide how hard to work. It is also up to me to recognize when my therapist is not helping me. That can be very difficult to discern, as it is the premise that there are things about us that we know are not productive that must be changed. Perhaps we don't yet fully appreciate the changes that need to be made, such that we try to internalize that which we feel we are not. We can be fooled into trying to think like our therapists while all the time ignoring what it feels like to be us. This type of relationship is not a good match for me. I want to come away from a session feeling like me, troubled or not.
I think a good therapist helps us to discover who and what we are within our own unique state of health, rather than define what it is that we should be in order to fit a societal norm. I am lucky that my therapist allows me this freedom.
- Scott
Posted by raisinb on April 5, 2009, at 14:31:28
In reply to Generosity of my T., posted by 10derHeart on April 3, 2009, at 21:01:58
Thank you for posting that, 10der. It was lovely to read and to see the wonderful relationship you and your therapist have built--one that has not gone away despite everything--separations, struggles, and potential losses--you two have been through.
(((10der's therapist))) and (((10der)))
This is the end of the thread.
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