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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:00:02
I seem to be causing great harm and/or behaving quite callously to others in my dreams
I keep finding myself shocked and appalled at myself in my dreams and feeling deeply shamefulI had a horrible dream a while ago. My mother died and in the dream I didn't seem to have appreciated her before she died..it was awful, horrible guilt, sobbing in my sleep.
Today I had this dream about hurting people so I could get a better christmas tree...weird right?? and then in the dream I was tormented by what it was that I did. Who goes around hitting people over the head for christmas trees? apparently I do.
I think I was like tiny tim turned evil.
Posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:05:50
In reply to my dreams are unpleasant....., posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:00:02
I always seem to be stuck in the 1st or 2nd grade, but I'm a lot older in the dream. It was a horrible time then I know, but I don't recall too much. I saw my father almost kill my mother at that age. Maybe that's why I'm still stuck there??
I always feel so lost in the dream, like I lost something, and I'm trying to get it back, trying to start over, trying to do it over right.
It's usually the same, I'm sitting in one of those desks, one of the nuns is my teacher, and I suddenly feel ashamed for being there.
...weird
Posted by AMF on February 22, 2009, at 23:11:51
In reply to and this other recurring dream..(violence trigger), posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:05:50
Sorry it's so unpleasant for you with these dreams. I know dreams are a window of what is really going on with us at times. However, that is not always easy and not always helpful when we can't figure out the meaning. Take care of yourself!
Posted by garnet71 on February 23, 2009, at 0:59:01
In reply to my dreams are unpleasant....., posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:00:02
Wow, Obsidian..those dreams must be horrible. But let me tell you, when you are 'mean' to others in your dreams (or daydreams/thoughts) it represents anger that you need to channel/process. You must have gone though some hell growing up, and I totally understand. What you need to do is work through that anger. And of course, as any of us who were abused as children have those feelings of guilt, you still do feel it was somehow "your fault" in some way or another. This is only natural. Rationally, you know it had nothing to do with you and it was not your fault at all, but unfortunately, negative emotions manifest this way.
If you work on acknowledging, processing/ channeling the hidden anger, I bet those types of dreams will go away. :+))
Posted by Kath on February 23, 2009, at 11:23:39
In reply to and this other recurring dream..(violence trigger), posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:05:50
Dear Sid,
I am so very sorry you went through such trauma as a little girl. ((((((((((LG Sid)))))))))))))
And I'm sorry you're having these awful dreams.
I am not sure if you have a therapist. I'm pretty sure you do. If so, I hope you feel comfortable bringing these things up with T.
At one point I had a book beside my bed. When I'd wake up I'd write a few words about my dream & then beside it, write the emotions. It ended up being interesting, because over the period of, say, a few days, I found the same emotions coming up. VERY different dreams, but the same emotions. I would circle the ones that appeared more than once. I think somehow it helped me to see that certain emotions were somehow being processed in my dreams.
I think it also helped to get the dreams 'out of my head' onto the paper. I think I'll start doing that again.
I think that a very interesting thing about your dreams is that when you hurt people, you feel badly about it right IN your dream! Not just when you wake up.
I send you my love, Kath
Posted by obsidian on February 24, 2009, at 19:04:50
In reply to Re: and this other recurring dream..(violence trigger) » obsidian, posted by Kath on February 23, 2009, at 11:23:39
I brought this up with my pdoc, and I shouldn't have (particularly that memory mentioned of the past). It left me with some feelings I couldn't handle. When I talk about trauma from the past it has this tendency to bring up a whole flood of feelings I sometimes don't anticipate. Weird the way that is... I think I'll end up drawing it. I need to get the picture out of my head.
Posted by Kath on February 25, 2009, at 11:46:47
In reply to Re: and this other recurring dream..(violence trigger), posted by obsidian on February 24, 2009, at 19:04:50
>I think I'll end up drawing it. I need to get the picture out of my head.
((sid))
Dear Obsidian,
I think drawing it is an excellent idea. I have 2 thoughts that came into my mind.
1) Don't know if you've ever done "Inner Child" writing or drawing. It's drawing with your non-dominant hand. I'm right-handed, so I'll use my left hand. I have a big container of coloured markers that I 'let' my 'little girl' draw with. She also prints (& spells rong! lol). She is quite 'there' when I give her a chance in this way. I was thinking of how extremely powerful it might be for your little kid to draw whatEVER she wants (she might even want to draw things that she wishes would have happened to people who were bad to her, or who were bad to others she loved, etc).
2) In the past when I've written things that I want to get out of my system & NOT be part of me any more, I've done various ways of getting RID of the paper with the writing on it. One time, when at a lake, I got a dead branch & poked the papers (I had 2) onto a twigs. Then I propped the stick upright in the water & lit the papers one by one, let them burn & the ash fall into the water & float away. It felt wonderful! Another time I was at home & just went out the back, ripped the paper up & put it into small garbage can & lit it; let it burn; threw the ashes into my large garbage pail.
I think drawing it to get it out of your head is a great idea.
love, Kath
PS - sometimes if I'm really upset about something & it feels like I'm more upset than the situation actually warrants, I'll sit down with a special book I have for Inner Child stuff. Almost always, I feel massively better afterwards.
I'll write (adult me writing with my right hand), "How are you feeling, little girl?"
Change hands, she might write, "I'm upset. You're mean! You said 'No' to ___"
Change hands, I write, "Are you angry?"
Change hands, 'She' writes, "No. I'm scared. What if he gets upset & does something that isn't good for him"
Change hands, I write, "I hear that you're scared. I'm sorry you're scared. It's okay though, _____ will have people say 'No' to him in his life. He has to get used to it. He'll be okay."
Change hands, She writes, "Are you sure its okay? Its not okay to say 'No' to people."
Change hands, I write, "Yes honey, it's okay We can say No if we want to! Want to draw a picture?"
Change hands, She writes, "Yeah. I wanna drawr flowrs." So then she 'drawrs flowrs'.
I have a whole book of this stuff. It's been a wonderful healing tool for me. I seem to be able to flip back into 'nurturing adult' role no matter what 'she' comes up with!
Hugs sid, Kath
Posted by Kath on February 25, 2009, at 11:51:08
In reply to and this other recurring dream..(violence trigger), posted by obsidian on February 22, 2009, at 23:05:50
You know how you saw that when you were little? And how it sort of haunts you?
Well - you know how you hurt other people in your dreams sometimes?
I was thinking that the 'little kid you' might easily have had a LOT of anger about that & maybe when you hurt others in your dreams, it's a way for that part of yourself to have some power (that she did NOT have in that situation) and be able to act on it. Then the adult you who knows it's not okay to hurt other kicks in & feels badly.
Just wondering.
Hugs, Kath
Posted by obsidian on February 25, 2009, at 20:24:39
In reply to Using drawing;writing;letting our inner kid draw.. » obsidian, posted by Kath on February 25, 2009, at 11:46:47
I used to do life drawing classes (you know with the nude models) and draw them with my left hand (I'm right handed too) because it made me a little less controlled and so less "perfectionistic". I did some of my best drawing that way actually. Sometimes you've got to get out of your own way you know?> I think drawing it to get it out of your head is a great idea.
I've got a little journal going on, not much in it though, today my drawing felt "twisted up". I like the idea about writing back and forth to parts of yourself.
Did you ever see the stuff I posted a link to...it's not much, but if you're interested...
http://flickr.com/photos/95288255@N00/Maybe I'll add some stuff to it soon, it's been a long time
thanks Kath :-)
Posted by Kath on February 26, 2009, at 20:12:24
In reply to Re: Using drawing;writing;letting our inner kid draw.. » Kath, posted by obsidian on February 25, 2009, at 20:24:39
slate, winter & figure 3 are my favourites and I LOVE the cats. Are they all yours?
Sid, 'winter' is particularly amazing.
I was trying to figure out if 'slate' is a real piece of slate & if so, if you carved it??
Pl let me know if you add more, okay?
love, Kath
That's interesting about using your non-dominant hand for art. I posed for Life drawing for my artist friend. I knew they were going to be shown in a show, but she didn't do faces, so i felt okay about it. She uses fabric & beads etc on her work. She had me lying with my head propped up & she named one Odelysk (sp?) - they were like harem women & had beaded strings around the hips & whispy cloth draped here or there. It was a really interesting experience for me. Going to the show took a bit of nerve even though the faces weren't done! LOL - I took my husband & it was our private joke, because he said, yup, he could tell it was me!
hugs, Kath
Posted by obsidian on March 1, 2009, at 17:39:49
In reply to Re: Using drawing;writing;letting our inner kid draw.. » obsidian, posted by Kath on February 26, 2009, at 20:12:24
> slate, winter & figure 3 are my favourites and I LOVE the cats. Are they all yours?
yes, those are my babies :-), there are just the two in different pictures
> Sid, 'winter' is particularly amazing.
thanks :-)
>
> I was trying to figure out if 'slate' is a real piece of slate & if so, if you carved it??yeah, it's a real piece of slate...had a friend whose dad was a roofer and they had tons of slate just lying around
>
> Pl let me know if you add more, okay?I'll add more soon, thanks Kath :-)
>
> love, Kath
>
> That's interesting about using your non-dominant hand for art. I posed for Life drawing for my artist friend. I knew they were going to be shown in a show, but she didn't do faces, so i felt okay about it. She uses fabric & beads etc on her work. She had me lying with my head propped up & she named one Odelysk (sp?) - they were like harem women & had beaded strings around the hips & whispy cloth draped here or there. It was a really interesting experience for me. Going to the show took a bit of nerve even though the faces weren't done! LOL - I took my husband & it was our private joke, because he said, yup, he could tell it was me!you're a brave soul, good for you!
>
> hugs, Kath
Posted by Kath on March 2, 2009, at 15:44:46
In reply to Re: Using drawing;writing;letting our inner kid draw.. » Kath, posted by obsidian on March 1, 2009, at 17:39:49
Please let me know when you post more sid.
Thx, love, Kath
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