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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 12:05:21
I noticed my therapist propping his eyelids open again today, and remarked that the downside of nearly fourteen years of therapy is that he's heard all the stories before.
He said that he wasn't bored, went on a bit about his long days, then said that my voice was soft and soothing and he did have a tendency to feel sleepy when I talked. I had the same effect when I read to my son at night. He says it's more true for emotional me than rational me. And I sort of know it's true. Even I can hear it. I laughed and said that was a nice way to say I had a monotonous flat tone. He had the grace not to deny it.
I suppose I should practice. Would a tape recorder be enough? Of course, the fact that it's emotional me that does it sort of reduces the effectiveness of rational attempts to change it...
Or maybe I should just encourage him to say more himself to break the mesmerizing spell. Although I never think of him as being a silent therapist, and my recollection of our sessions is dialogues not monologues.
No criticisms of my therapist please. It really is true. I can hear it myself.
Posted by SLS on February 13, 2009, at 13:18:55
In reply to I need a voice coach, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 12:05:21
This might not be my place to ask, but I am curious if you are meek when you become the emotional you. Are you reluctant to become animated because you don't think that you are worthy to talk about your problems?
Maybe you go into "depressed and helpless" mode while in a session. You would be flat and speak in a monotone voice. You would feel drained of energy, perhaps even before getting started.
For me, I can see that happening when I am not in touch with my emotions and the thoughts that provoke them. I'm numb. It's like I'm not able to express what is really going on with me because my problems seem too large and tangled to penetrate. I feel as if I'm not going anywhere. I speak monotone when I am doing the same thing over and over, even if I am using different words. I think it is a sign of being stuck.
I was a real mess when I was younger. Not so much anymore. At least that's what my ego wants to believe :-).
- Scott
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 14:43:04
In reply to I need a voice coach, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 12:05:21
Dinah,
Do you think you are afraid of what his reaction might be to the emotional you? Perhaps you present yourself with such a voice to minimize or "soften the blow" to him.
It is interesting, and I think significant that you have the same affect when putting your child to bed.
It almost sounds as though you are casting a non-response spell. I wonder why?
Seldom "armchair psychiatrist (and often wrong)" seen
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 17:48:35
In reply to Re: I need a voice coach » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 14:43:04
It's so hard to hear oneself.
I know my voice rises and falls in pitch when I read to my son. A bit mechanically perhaps, but I know it does. So maybe that's a different phenomenon.
I'm trying to think of the dynamic in the room. It's definitely parent-child, but not a particularly subserviant child. The softness of volume may have something to do with that. But the tone of the conversation itself isn't at all flat or monotone. At least I don't think it is.
I often feel like the process of allowing access to that part of myself is almost like self hypnosis. Words are often hard for me to find. I wonder if that affects my presentation. In gaining access to my emotions, I lose my facility with words.
Although I suppose my normal tone of voice might be a bit flat. Maybe I'll ask my husband. I know I have a bad "ear". I can't do accents or pronunciations or voice impressions. My husband spent a hilarious interval last night trying to get me to say "milieu" correctly, to no avail. Maybe it's just an exaggeration of a normal tendency for me.
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 19:26:38
In reply to Hmmm...., posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 17:48:35
He says he was just thinking today what a nice voice I had, and what good projection.
What a strange coincidence!
Not that I have a nice voice. But it's nice to know my husband thinks so.
Posted by raisinb on February 13, 2009, at 20:24:04
In reply to I need a voice coach, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 12:05:21
You know, Dinah, I once read an article by a renowned psychologist about one of his/her patients. The therapist remarked that, during a certain stage of therapy, the patient tended to make the therapist sleepy, because she was talking in a very soothing, peaceful voice. They spoke about it and realized that the patient was trying to soothe the therapist because of the particular developmental stage she was in. I wish I could remember the story more exactly. But the basic idea was that the patient either needed to be mothered, or was trying to "give back" to the therapist all the "mothering" she had received.
Also--the important part--the therapist was not bored or annoyed by this at all--s/he found it interesting and was delighted to figure out where the patient was. So it was not at all a rejecting response on the therapist's part.
Maybe you don't need a voice coach. Maybe you and your therapist just need to have fun analyzing for awhile :)
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 21:32:29
In reply to Re: I need a voice coach » Dinah, posted by raisinb on February 13, 2009, at 20:24:04
I like that idea.
It sounds much better than that I drone on in a monotonous buzz. :)
I'm going to miss him. He's gone for a week, and I'm not altogether sure I can make my appointment on the following Monday, which is Lundi Gras.
Of course he'll have forgotten all about this when he comes back, so I'll have to suggest this to him next time I put him to sleep.
Posted by Phillipa on February 13, 2009, at 21:38:03
In reply to Re: I need a voice coach » raisinb, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 21:32:29
Dinah you're written word voice is always well heard. Don't be hard on yourself? Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 21:53:25
In reply to Re: I need a voice coach » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on February 13, 2009, at 21:38:03
Thank you Phillipa. :)
It really doesn't make me feel bad about myself. My voice is something I've never really thought about or prided myself on. And I have sometimes heard myself in session, and realized that my voice was flat.
If it's something I need to work on, I'm more than happy to work on it. But I don't feel bad about it. Other than that I'd rather not put my therapist to sleep.
Posted by Phillipa on February 13, 2009, at 23:47:04
In reply to Re: I need a voice coach » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2009, at 21:53:25
Dinah look at it this way you relax him. Which Is A good thing. Love Phillipa
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