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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by emmanuel98 on February 11, 2009, at 19:41:59
My sister takes piano lessons and her teacher has monthly recitals and receptions afterwards. Three of the piano students are p-docs and two are Psych-D's. My sister says she can't stand any of them. They are all weird, socially inept, stand-offish.
It's helpful to hear this. I think of my T (also my p-doc) as the most wonderful person in the world and feel so inferior. But a lot of T's are strange people IRL who are used to relating to people only in these asymmetric relationships where they hold all the power.
So maybe I wouldn't even like him IRL.
Posted by Sharon7 on February 11, 2009, at 20:16:42
In reply to T's in real life, posted by emmanuel98 on February 11, 2009, at 19:41:59
Hey, emmanuel. I'm glad hearing about how odd and aloof those T's & pdocs are from the piano class made you feel better. Probably just about anything we can do or think to help us remember that they are human is a good thing! I have actually decided to give my T permission to be human. It was not an easy decision, and I really hope it works out for her! LOL! I'll keep her pedestal ready just in case it doesn't. (o:
I don't think thinking my T was a 'b' outside of the office would help me to love her any less, though. I can't even imagine her being a mean person. But YOURS on the other hand, I bet he's not very pleasant at all, and no, you would not like him one little bit. lol!
Posted by Dinah on February 11, 2009, at 21:27:29
In reply to T's in real life, posted by emmanuel98 on February 11, 2009, at 19:41:59
Well, some may be. Others aren't. Just like with any other profession.
Some people may be drawn in by a desire to be part of a relationship while staying safe. Others may be extroverts who really enjoy people and want to know what makes them tick. Some may be substituting others for the parent or sibling they weren't able to help. Others may be emulating a beloved therapist who helped them a lot. There are lots of ways to arrive at the same destination.
Does it seem like your therapist would be weird or socially inept?
I'm weird and socially inept, so I know I'd know my own kind. My therapist is nothing at all like me. He enjoys other people, being in groups, and, I hate to admit it, fitting in. He's not the teensiest bit weird, or even odd. Not even interestingly eccentric. He's socially adept. He is gregarious and outgoing, and doesn't even seem tense around people.
Maybe your therapist is a reasonably normal and decent guy. But that doesn't mean he's anything that should make you feel inferior. Reasonably normal and decent guys forget birthdays, yell at their spouses and children, and have less than charitable thoughts. They pass gas, scratch themselves, and are rude and thoughtless on occasion. Reasonably normal and decent guys are every bit as fallible as you are.
My therapist has his strengths and weaknesses. So do I. Neither of us would particularly enjoy hanging out with the other in real life. But we appreciate our differences and respect our strengths in that room.
Do you think your therapist is the person you describe? Does he seem standoffish or weird? My pdoc I wouldn't be surprised to learn was like that in real life. But then I find him that way in the room too. Do you think they could hide themselves that much?
Posted by Annierose on February 11, 2009, at 21:35:00
In reply to Re: T's in real life » emmanuel98, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2009, at 21:27:29
I believe that my therapist is the person she presents herself to be every day I see her. She is dependable, healthy, kind, thoughtful, patient ... I don't think she could pretend all those qualities every day, every time I see her.
On the other hand, she is human. I do not think she is a perfect therapist, but she is perfect for me.
As Dinah said, there are good and bad qualities in every human being on this planet. And they work in every sort of profession. Good lawyers, good judges, good handymen, good cashiers ... and then there are the bad. Luckily there are more good and kind people than bad. Most people are doing the best they can.
Posted by obsidian on February 11, 2009, at 22:26:52
In reply to Re: T's in real life » emmanuel98, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2009, at 21:27:29
> Does it seem like your therapist would be weird or socially inept?
>
> I'm weird and socially inept, so I know I'd know my own kind. My therapist is nothing at all like me. He enjoys other people, being in groups, and, I hate to admit it, fitting in. He's not the teensiest bit weird, or even odd. Not even interestingly eccentric. He's socially adept. He is gregarious and outgoing, and doesn't even seem tense around people.yeah, I suspect my therapist is not like me either in that regard. To be comfortable in the social realm...what an alien concept for me. Mine seems comfortable socially as well. I wouldn't want him to know what it's like to be as uncomfortable as I am....but it does make him something of a curiosity to me.
>
> Maybe your therapist is a reasonably normal and decent guy. But that doesn't mean he's anything that should make you feel inferior. Reasonably normal and decent guys forget birthdays, yell at their spouses and children, and have less than charitable thoughts. They pass gas, scratch themselves, and are rude and thoughtless on occasion. Reasonably normal and decent guys are every bit as fallible as you are.you know every once in a while I wonder what my therapist is like during the more mundane experiences of life, like taking out the trash... I wonder if he's ever yelled at his kid? has he ever been mean to anyone? does he ever get drunk and stupid?
and I can't help but imagine what he might be like as a father, but that thought seems too intrusive, so I won't entertain it
Posted by obsidian on February 11, 2009, at 22:29:37
In reply to Re: T's in real life, posted by Annierose on February 11, 2009, at 21:35:00
>Most people are doing the best they can.
yeah, I keep finding this to be true. It often makes me sad though.
Posted by Looney Tunes on February 12, 2009, at 1:18:32
In reply to Re: T's in real life » Annierose, posted by obsidian on February 11, 2009, at 22:29:37
Mine is perfect and it kills me.
I doubt T has done anything wrong in T's entire life.
**climbs away and hides under a rock**
Posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 6:40:16
In reply to T's in real life, posted by emmanuel98 on February 11, 2009, at 19:41:59
My guess is that the number of "weird" and aloof people in psychiatry is no different from that in most other professions. People are just people.
I work with a *lot* of psychiatrists and I consider them to be colleagues and friends.
One thing some of my friends *have* commented to me is that once people learn what they do, people's behaviour changes around them. In my friends' words they often get the response "Oh, you're a head shrinker - stay out of my head!".
I wonder how I would react if someone said, or thought, that to/about me when I was just trying to be social.
Seldom.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2009, at 8:25:45
In reply to Re: T's in real life, posted by Looney Tunes on February 12, 2009, at 1:18:32
I can't even imagine a therapist who has never done anything wrong in session, never mind in real life.
Posted by antigua3 on February 12, 2009, at 9:19:05
In reply to T's in real life, posted by emmanuel98 on February 11, 2009, at 19:41:59
I understand what you're saying because I've heard this before. I might even tend to agree with you.
I don't think that way about my T, but my pdoc... well, he could be that way. Power seems to be very important to him. I do see a hint of the kind of father he might be and while part of me knows that he is loving and kind, another part is very strict, and I can't imagine that doesn't carry over to his kids in one way or another. I know he doesn't necessarily approve of my strategies w/my kids--I'm more of a rewarder/briber than a punisher, and I know from what he has said about his children patients that he believes more in the firmness approach.
just my opinion, of course, could be my b/w thinking going on,
antigua
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