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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 13:01:28
Having trouble understanding fully what borderline behavior is anyone willing to explain? Would really appreciate it. Thanks Phillipa
Posted by fleeting flutterby on December 16, 2008, at 13:21:50
In reply to Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin, posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 13:01:28
> Having trouble understanding fully what borderline behavior is anyone willing to explain? Would really appreciate it. Thanks Phillipa<<
Well to give you a live example-- I can tell you about my mom.
She wants people to be close to her but the minute you don't do as she thinks you should do-- then she flames you and tries to push you away. She is VERY uncomfortable alone-- it's like she can't stand her own company. She is an impulsive spender-- to the point of financial ruin. She also shoplifts which is why I don't go "shopping" with her. It seems to me she struggles to deal with emotions and yet lives to create drama. She will say how she really hates someone and then the next day she's going out to lunch with them.... huh?..... It truly confuses me and has since I was a wee little one. she recently moved over 1000 miles away, has lived there for 5 months and now hates it there just like she did here-- but wants to move back here now!! argh.... it's so confusing!
so--- this is how she is as living with borderline-- please keep in mind though that each person is an individual and has varying traits.
here's a clip from the Mayo Clinic:
Symptoms
Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.When you have BPD, you often have an insecure sense of who you are. That is, your self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes. You may view yourself as evil or bad, and sometimes may feel as if you don't exist at all. An unstable self-image often leads to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals, values and gender identity.
Your relationships are usually in turmoil. You often experience a love-hate relationship with others. You may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even minor misunderstandings. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas things are either black or white. For instance, in the eyes of a person with BPD, someone is either good or evil. And that same person may seem good one day and evil the next.
Other signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:
Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or taking illicit drugs
Strong emotions that wax and wane frequently
Intense but short episodes of anxiety or depression
Inappropriate anger, sometimes escalating into physical confrontations
Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
Suicidal behavior
Fear of being alone
--- hope this helped some
flutterby-mandy
Posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 13:26:55
In reply to Re: Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin » Phillipa, posted by fleeting flutterby on December 16, 2008, at 13:21:50
I'm afraid of being alone. terrified. Thanks hope more perspectives I need to learn about this totally. Love Phillipa
Posted by fleeting flutterby on December 16, 2008, at 13:32:27
In reply to Re: Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin » fleeting flutterby, posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 13:26:55
> I'm afraid of being alone. terrified. Thanks hope more perspectives I need to learn about this totally. Love Phillipa<<
hmmmmm I dont' think I'd say my mom is "afraid" of being alone. She is emotionally empty when alone and so it makes her uncomfortable. She lives alone and therfore is alone at night-- she's not scared at all. It's just that she doesn't care for her own company-- she needs loads and loads of people around her and lots and lots of things going on.
I think the "fear" of being alone could be dependence of some sort-- like dependant personality -- maybe?
flutterby-mandy
Posted by rskontos on December 16, 2008, at 14:56:19
In reply to Re: Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin » Phillipa, posted by fleeting flutterby on December 16, 2008, at 13:32:27
Phillipa,
My T and I had a discussion about Borderline Personality Disorder and he said that sometimes they often get really into one person and is so caught up with that one person but then that person will do one thing wrong (that they view is wrong based on their own criteria), and it can be minor or what someone else will not consider something wrong, and the BPD person will flip out on that person. That the reaction is totally out of what is considered reasonable. That BPD attachments can be all or nothing with the reasons with the attachments usually not in the healthy range.
He said as a t, it takes alot of patience and knowledge to treat them. And that they are usually in therapy a long time. But he says with the right therapist they can be fully recovered. My t says he has treated many successfully over the years and they are doing quite well now. He says it is unfortuate for so many that the wrong view is out there. He believes they can be successfully treated and do extremely well.
rsk
Posted by Racer on December 16, 2008, at 16:14:10
In reply to Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin, posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 13:01:28
Here's the diagnostic criteria for DSM-IV 301.83: Borderline Personality Disorder
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
(7) chronic feelings of emptiness.
(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
**********************************************************************Here are two links that might help. If you still have trouble understanding aspects, maybe you could post specific questions? It's such a vast topic, it's hard to know what to include in a nutshell summary.
The ever-popular Wikipedia entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorderNational Institute of Mental Health:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder.shtml
Posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 20:08:35
In reply to Re: Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin » Phillipa, posted by Racer on December 16, 2008, at 16:14:10
Well don't have that one. Thanks for responses. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 20:32:32
In reply to Re: Anyone Good Definition Or Description Of Borderlin » Racer, posted by Phillipa on December 16, 2008, at 20:08:35
It was a problem with hospitalized patients as there was the "good nurse" and the bad "Nurse" and the next day it would switch or even in matter of hours. And it affected staff so staff might think a nurse was mean but wasn't. Hard to deal with. Lots of admissions of same when nursing. Don't know what's it's like today but challenging as staff was taught to stick together. Just my personal experience. Phillipa
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