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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JayMac on November 29, 2008, at 13:48:38
This has been something on my mind lately. Who can I change and what can I change?
My mom is schizophrenic. She lives mintues from her mom (my grandmother of course). Well, I have trouble because my mom is many hours away from me. I want to help my mom, but I'm not sure how. I know I could call her more often, but I can't really have a conversation. She starts going into her delusions and I don't know what to say at that point. If I tell her about my life, she forgets. She has no short term memory. When I'm on the phone with her, I just tell her that I love her and miss her and will try to see her soon. I saw her this Thanksgiving. It was difficult. She really does have a mental illness. It's obvious. She really is handicapped. It's real. My mom is really disabled.
Well, I've been speaking with my T about how I can help her. I know my mom would great benefit from therapy. She is on lots of medication, but I know she needs more. She gets shots of it every couple weeks because she won't take it otherwise.
My T recommended that I try to figure out if that is possible to get her more help in either a group home/setting or individual therapy. I researched Ts in the area, and they all specialize and work with higher functioning individuals. My mom lives in a remote area so there are limited options.
I'm not sure what to do. My grandma gave a list of excuses why she cannot drive my mom to group therapy. She says that she doesn't have time, or this, or that. I'm frustrated. I feel helpless. I feel hopeless. We briefly spoke about it this Thursday, but she doesn't understand how beneficial it would be for my mom. I know my grandma doesn't make a ton of money, but group therapy can be free, many times.
My T and I have been working on my coming to accept my mom, accept that I cannot change her, but I can give her my love, I can call her, and I can visit her. It's so hard. I know I cannot really CHANGE her. I just want her to be better. I want her to someday get married again and be happy. I know she's not happy. She acts like she is, but she doesn't know what happiness is anymore. It makes me sad. I've cried many, many times over this.
I just needed to vent. I don't see my T until Thursday.
Thanks for readng!
Posted by Phillipa on November 29, 2008, at 14:30:01
In reply to Who and what you can(not) change., posted by JayMac on November 29, 2008, at 13:48:38
Jay Mac I'm sorry. Does her pdoc feel her meds are right. Good about the shots. I don't know what to say. Love Phillipa
Posted by JayMac on November 29, 2008, at 16:24:00
In reply to Re: Who and what you can(not) change. » JayMac, posted by Phillipa on November 29, 2008, at 14:30:01
Thanks Philipia!
From what it sounds, she's always on a new med. I just found out she's on an atypical antipsychotic.I don't know what to say either. I don't necessarily need anyone to say anything. I just need to vent. It's one thing to deal with one's own diagnoses, it's another to have someone you love struggle with such a grave illness.
Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on November 29, 2008, at 17:23:14
In reply to Who and what you can(not) change., posted by JayMac on November 29, 2008, at 13:48:38
Hi JayMac,
I am more worried about you, you are struggling so much, I am glad you have a T to help you through this.
It sounds like you are doing as much as you can handle right now. If she says she is happy, believe her, maybe her level is different than yours. You are such a caring person. I don't know where your mom lives, but sometimes there are transportation available to help people like your mom. Sometimes help can come to her. Does she qualify to be in a home that would help with meds and have some company for her?JayMac, it is hard to accept things especially about people we care about, but you need to take care of yourself too.
Posted by JayMac on November 29, 2008, at 21:59:46
In reply to Re: Who and what you can(not) change., posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on November 29, 2008, at 17:23:14
Thank you for your concern Slug!!
I'm glad I have my T too. She makes a difference. I'm thinking that if she were to go to group therapy as many times as she can per week, that would make a huge difference. I just need to convince my grandma that my mom's health is worth the inconvenience of getting her there.
This is the end of the thread.
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